Fingers Sticky? Maybe You Should Wash Your Hands After Getting a Sticky Post

I was born long long ago in a galaxy far far away, but I don’t remember that day. I was raised in a convent. The Mother Superior was Nun Yabizness. I called her Nessie or Nessie of the flowing locks, and she was very pleasing in a saurus kind of way. Old habits die hard ya know.

You can’t believe everything you read on the internet. The preceding was a lie. The proceeding might be.

It is better to remain silent and be thought an idiot, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Okay, about me, I’m the youngest of six kids. I started college at 16 and got my BA in physics from the University of Northern Iowa. I figured out that rocket science is hard, so I don’t do that for a living. The picture that shows me with two other people is from a brochure advertising the Physics Dept and is from sometime prior to 1984. The Asian guy was my roommate for about two years, he’s from Malaysia. The other photo shows me receiving a Governor’s Volunteer Award in 1988. I’m from Iowa. I’m versed in ancient computer lingo, id est I learned how to program the old fashioned way. Exempli Gratia, I took a course in Fortran, wrote physics programs in BASIC, read a book on tape in PASCAL, and purchased TurboC++ after I got my first PC. The volunteer award was for the books that I read onto tapes for the Library for the Blind, one of which was a text on PASCAL. Sometimes I miss the old days. The good ol’ days are the ones where you don’t think about the bad, but remember the fun. I can be a smart-ass at times, other times I can be a dumb-ass, according to some I’m an ass of some sort all the time. If I don’t seem rational, remember rational comes from the word ratio which means fractions. Are you good at fractions? If you multiply 1/4 by 2 you get four bits which is fifty cents, and I don’t even like rap. If you multiply 1/5 by 3 you get really plowed unless you have several friends over to help drink them. And yeah, sometimes I plow. If you follow my train of thought you’re either crazy or you’re AB. My posts aren’t always adult oriented, but they often are. And they often involve word play, and puns, and double entendres, I like crosswords, hence the tagline.

Now to see if I can get this sticky, watch out.
Wild

That took a while to find. I had to google it. I wouldn’t have guessed in the visibility tab. It was in visible

Lead A Full Life, Or an Empty One, Just don’t give the Statisticians an Opportunity

Do you believe in amassing reserves for use in troubled times?

Do you believe in utilizing ALL of one’s resources to accomplish a goal?

WHO is correct?

So much of life depends on philosophy. Philosophy and art are probably the two most undervalued majors for college students.

I was a Physics major. I haven’t worked in my field in 33 years. That doesn’t mean I’m not a scientist. It means I am an AMATEUR scientist. And if you check the history books, the amateurs are the ones that did a lot of the discoveries. I suppose I could try to be an evil mad scientist, but I woke up from a nightmare about that a few minutes ago so it’s probably not a good option. I would probably have more nightmares.

As to using resources, in the past week I have spent hundreds filling my freezer due to sales. I don’t intend to ever go hungry. Some don’t worry about those things. Forget ants and grasshoppers!

Nature provides examples.

If you have to, give them the bird.

Wild

Telephone Tits

You might ask, exactly what are — telephone tits?

I’m glad you asked. It allows me to expound on one of my favorite subjects, historical advertising trivia!

Okay, I have through a gazillion photos looking for the Bell Telephone ad that ran in the early 70’s. It was featured in a mid 70’s edition of Hustler magazine. It was cited in the book “Subliminal Seduction”. And I have been unable to locate it. It showed a woman holding one of the old wooden box phones that had an attached microphone and an earpiece on a cord. It had two bells on the front. Guess where they were on the model. RING those bells, we have a winner!

BTW, my searches also yielded this,
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fs3-ak.buzzfeed.com%2Fstatic%2F2015-01%2F14%2F15%2Ftmp%2Fwebdr10%2F937f35121dc696b11dd94654938f5359-10.png&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailydot.com%2Fvia%2Fsigns-that-craigslist-ad-is-fake%2F&docid=udHSVOZK_hly1M&tbnid=rBzkrmGuU8Z72M%3A&vet=1&w=568&h=251&bih=659&biw=1366&ved=0ahUKEwjD_8vhsa_QAhVp2oMKHbPpD1M4hAcQMwhRKE4wTg&iact=mrc&uact=8

I don’t duck the issues!

Reach out and touch someone!
Touch!
You might be surprised at their response be it a squeak or a giggle.

Wild

is your phone on vibrate?

On Point

As if.

As if I ever stay on point.

What is the point?

Get to the point!

Stay on point!

OUCH! FUCK YOU!

It is not natural to stay on point. It is ego that pushes staying on point. If not the dancer’s ego then the ego of the teacher or parents.

But isn’t ego why we push ourselves in any endeavor?

Yes

Is ego bad?

Mostly.

In grade school I was the best at math, science, spelling, and almost anything except gym.

That made me egotistical.

I’m still egotistical.

BUT NOW I KNOW I AM NOT THE BEST AT THINKING.

But I haven’t given up at thinking either. I think about a lot of things.

It is better to look down a woman’s shirt than to see her boobs clearly.
It is better to watch a cancan dance than to see the undergarments without the dancing.

An emotional connection is the best ever.

A physical connection will do for the moment. Hey, masturbation doesn’t even require that. If you can at least help someone else to get off that should be a bonus. Think! They came because of what you did! Good job!!!

Was it the best cum of their life?

See! That’s where it all falls apart!

Would life be better as an incubus/succubus?

Wild

Johnny Needs a Walker

Brandy is dating Alexander while Jim Beams.

I was going to post a video of an SNL skit with Garrett Morris as Johnny Walker, and other characters as booze related hallucinations. I couldn’t find it.

For shame.

As my breath is heavy with alcohol I will say that the point of pasta is not the sprinkling of Parmesan, but it is the savoring of the sauce. Oh what a sauce! Be it hot and garlicy or a buttery alfredo, it is such a taste sensation. It fills the mouth with pleasure.

Wild

A Text Message from AD 1509

You think I’m joking?!?!

Would *I* joke about something like that?

Well of course I would. That’s not the point.

It’s actually the shaft, not the point. The point leads, the shaft follows.

Do you want to get the shaft?

Maybe I can help. I’ll tell you a story.

In English.
Once upon a time I blogged on a site that had both free and paid memberships. As the site got more popular they wanted to be paid for more and more stuff. I didn’t want to pay for it. I told them a story on my blog. Some gold members tried to e-mail me. I still did not want to pay for it. The site wouldn’t let me see what those members wrote.

They told me I had messages. They just blurred them out. Then I had an idea. I remembered a trick I had used on their blogs. {please bear with me at this point. I was too lazy to figure out how exactly to do this on this platform}. If you select a font color that is very similar to the background color the text is almost, or if they are the same- impossible to read. BUT, and that is a *very* big butt, it is easily readable if you highlight the text for copy/cut. Laziness precludes my showing you that.

I tried that with the blurred out e-mails from gold members. AHA! Clear text! Well sort of. It’s in a different language. It looks like Latin. I can’t translate Latin. Let’s see if the internet can!

No.

Well, sort of no.

It had nothing to do with the original message. It was NOT a Latin translation of that e-mail.

It was the Lorem Ipsom.

A sex/dating/meat market site used an ethics post from 1509AD to blank out text.
http://www.lipsum.com/

Wild with a sticky post for messages

The Immortality Elixir Will Take Forever To Test

Step one is to get rid of any toxins you might have floating around in your body.

What is it?
Is it a vitamin? NO!
Is it a mineral? No!
Is it a protein supplement?

Well, …., maybe.

Life continues because of protein. Some protein mixes with other protein and bingo! more life! Making a protein shake might give the wrist a bit of a workout, but isn’t that flavor worth it? And it’s good cardiovascular exercise too. On that you can bet a buk {sic} okaay.

How do you pacify someone like that? With a little nuki of course.

Ya gotta love those lyrics, “Nuki, Nuki, Nuki, How I love my Nuki! Sweeter than a cookie, I’ll share it if you are my friend.”

Wild

Okaaaayyy, After my head explodes I’ll make a Political Post

http://www.businessinsider.com/hannity-glenn-beck-trump-2016-10

The preview didn’t give details. Good. I’m not sure how many times my head can explode.

I find myself agreeing with Glenn—-whoops there goes my head again.

Okay, okay, Red Dwarf fans bear with me. This is like Kryten contemplating ketchup with lobster.

Mr Spork, I Call You Runcible

It’s flooding here in Iowa. My house is on high ground, but yesterday I was almost an island. It was worse in 2008. There’s been a lot of comparisons in the news. One thing about that though. That flood was in the spring/early summer. We don’t usually get floods in the fall. And 500 year floods shouldn’t be happening 8 years apart.

http://lb.511ia.org/ialb/winterdriving/routeselect.jsf?view=state&text=m&textOnly=false

In 2008 the map at the 511 website had closures all over the state.

What does that have to do with anything? Well, since runcible is a nonsense word it has everything to do with it. I thought of the title first. Finding material to write about it is a little harder. Although I did learn that I was mistaken about a bit of trivia. I saw a commercial where they mentioned the inventiveness of whoever came up with the idea of a spork. The ad made it sound like a relatively recent invention. I had heard the term “Runcible spoon” and falsely assumed it was a much older term describing a spoon fork hybrid. I thought there might have been a person named Runcible. Nope.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runcible

Several years ago there was a car ad that really touted an ignition button on the dash. The ad claimed it was a new innovation. The person designing the ad had apparently never seen a pre-WWII car with an ignition button on the dash. They didn’t run the ad for very long so they must’ve figured it out. Advertising can provide a snapshot of consumer culture. Calgon, Take me away!”

That was hilarious. Hey, it fits in with consumer culture.

Wild

Smellovision, Is That An App?

Ah, the memories. What memories? Scent memories. Is that recall or recognition? It is beautiful. Well, sometimes anyway.

Recall, dredging up the past. Recognition, finding triggers.

Actually scent memories tend to be the latter in my opinion. They can be vivid.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brain-babble/201501/smells-ring-bells-how-smell-triggers-memories-and-emotions

Good or bad you might recognize that smell. Interestingly, to me at least, I recall a particular day. The woman I was dating broke up with me. Later, on my way to work I noticed how her perfume, Lady Stetson, lingered in my vehicle. On my way home I bought and used a bottle of “New Car Scent”. A few months later I bought a bottle of Lady Stetson for my new girlfriend because it still triggered more positive feelings than negative. I didn’t tell her WHY I liked that scent.

Why is such an interesting question. From a toddler it can be so irritating, and after a while you just have to say just because. But you should retain that inquisitiveness privately. Most people have no idea why they do or feel what they do. Introspection is good. Why is good. It prevents or at least limits the frequency and intensity of people yanking your chain just to watch you react. That can be very good in the age of social networking. Spammers, like miners, share miners, love to yank chains with misleading headlines. Usually they use false equivalencies, and ask for a like or a share. Yea, I’m going to say I hate puppies and sunsets by not sharing. Ask yourself before others ask you. Know why you feel that way.

Why DO you feel that way? Could it be pheromones? About 30 years ago I read a study about androgen. Does it attract women? I couldn’t find a reference to that study, but their answer was that it didn’t attract heterosexual women. It repelled heterosexual males. I find that intriguing. Tangentially, there was a Peanuts cartoon where Schroeder is talking to Lucy. Lucy says that she can picture them married. Schroeder replies that he wouldn’t marry her unless she were the last woman on Earth. Lucy asks, “Did you say if or unless?” Schroeder states, “I admit I said unless.” In the last panel Lucy shouts, “Hope!” I think that conversation reflects a more male pattern of thought. Drive away all competition and they will have to select me.

I could be wrong.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15501487

I could’ve searched for the SNL skit, “The Last Straight Man In San Francisco”. It had a similar theme. But I didn’t.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2015/01/06/farmer-destroys-nazi-cows/21325527/

The Nazis liked selective breeding. I doubt that there was much love involved though. They did like sausages. German sausages and Polish sausages are liked but I doubt they are loved. Metaphorically, I’m sure they are loved.

Well, this post meandered in a direction I didn’t plan, but that’s okay. I noticed something just now that I had missed for a very long time. In the following video when they “Heil!” they flip the bird. Way to go Spike and company!

Wild

Base Three Boolean Algebra, There’s a Fetish For That

It involves NAND gates.

There is a fetish for everything conceivable. “There are only so many protuberances and orifices on the body, so nothing is so original that it hasn’t been fantasized before.” Quote Dr Galen on the Columbia University seminars from the 80s or 90s.

Sexual stimulation isn’t a bodily function. You can’t stimulate someone who isn’t willing. You can convince them to be willing or you can rape them. Is there an in between I’m missing?

Bodily functions override emotions. You can hold your water, but it won’t go away. It *MUST* have it’s time. Tycho Brahe learned that the hard way. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tycho_Brahe

His nose may or may not have been gold, but he took it off and polished it in front of people he wished to annoy.

Seduction would be the convincing. As a male I would be seduced by desire and interest. The idea that somebody actually wants me, excites me. The idea that somebody is interested in me as a person causes me to feel interest. Some females are led by confrontation and conflict. Romance novels and romcoms indicate that is true for at least some females.

Such is the state of gender identification. Boolean algebra is a method of manipulating logic circuits to get what you want. Traditionally it would be binary. Traditionally gender would be binary. So could Boolean algebra be a matchmaking formula? No!

Transgender people throw a wrench into that. Wrenches lead to sockets, bolts, studs, nuts, and sometimes even screws. Still, what would third base be like? If you slide it will be muddy.

I didn’t say that.

Vive La Difference ! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ternary_numeral_system

Wild