Category Archives: Bazaar

Bizarre with a price like a Darwin Award

Two Score Years Ago I Was Too Sore To Soar Too.

Okay, maybe not quite forty years ago. Big Science came out in 82. But wouldn’t you be sore?

You would expect me to keep a record of the time? Going down on the Captain might lead to other things.

Well I said they were too sore. Too means excessive. Excessive oral sex leads to sensitivity and Beaver Breath.

Too can also mean also. Too!

And two can mean 2. The number two that is. I’m not talking about scat here. Herr stranger I don’t want to hear about scat. What about the score? What, beaver breath isn’t good enough you want to score too? Or were you talking about the musical score? Laurie had an interesting technique on another song from that album.

It’s interesting for me to watch this video now. I bought the vinyl on the recommendation of a friend not long after it came out. I bought the CD after I bought a CD player in 88. I saw this video for the first time just recently. I didn’t realize she signed on it until then. Learn something new all the time. But you would think Superman would have a cape? Where’s the cape?

Okay, this probably does go back forty years, but I just saw it recently. Superheros don’t {necessarily} wear dresses.

http://itwasneveradress.com/

I saw a personalized license plate at the gas station one day. It said PYTHAGORAS. I said to the guy getting gas, “You must be either a musician or a mathematician.” He replied, “So must you.” He was a musician. I told him to bake sugar cookies into regular polygons and have the kids use frosting to stack them into dodecahedra. You start with stars and chop off Isosceles triangles. That will leave you with pentagons and unhappy children. They might cheer up when they see how much frosting/chocolate is needed to stick the sides together. Then you tell them that Euclid’s Elements is actually a dessert cookbook.

You do realize that you can’t believe EVERYTHING you read on-line.

Wild

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Succotash and Hash, A Love Story

Succotash, lima beans and corn, does anybody actually LIKE lima beans? After my mom died I found some very unusual frozen dinners. These were factory made and not simply some weird concoction she made. I might add weirdness runs in families and it has caught up to some of us. Lima Beans, rutabagas, and meatloaf were in some. Others had kohlrabi, corn, and chicken. I knew what those veggies were. How many people would know what those are? There was no obvious brand name, but they had that thin plastic seal with a freshness date. I don’t like succotash. I don’t like Lima beans. I’ll eat any food. Those are just quite bland, and I prefer foods that have some sort of flavor. Tofu can be quite bland but not if you add it to very spicy stuff.

Hash. Unless you are talking about psychoactive foods hash falls into the category of olio. Irish stew, shepherd’s pie, chop suey, and hash were ways of dealing with leftovers. Beef Stroganoff was leftover onion soup with beef, sour cream, and thickener. Hash was fried leftover meat and potatoes, good stuff.

Suck O’tash could be a display of affection for someone with facial hair. Perhaps they were giving mustache rides and wanted to share the flavor. They might indicate this through a “Hash” tag.

Stay with me, this gets complicated.

I’m a big fan of GregandLou.com. Some of their early work included a set of videos about “MILF Solicitors”. Hilarious, loved it. In the first one, Jax is wearing a t-shirt offering mustache rides. Just remember that, I’ll get back to that point. Maybe not, I’ll just put the vid here.

They’ve made a Christmas vid most years. I don’t remember them doing “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” Why would I mention what they didn’t do? I’ll get back to that also. But, in the meantime I will tell you just how weird I was as a child. Whenever they got to the line, “I threw up the sash”, my child’s mind didn’t consider window construction. To me “Threw up the sash” seemed like it would mean vomiting some hybrid succotash/hash recipe. In my mind I said “Good, it sounds terrible! It should be thrown up!”

They also made a kind of strange artsy film. At first it really didn’t sink in what they were doing. Then it did.

Now you can forget everything I’ve told you.

wild

Ouroboros and Chinese Military Underwear

One of my many little pet peeves is when creationists use evolutionary language to describe economics or social structure. Darwin is wrong about natural selection, but that is how capitalism works. That is why certain societies flourish. Capitalism weeds out the inefficient. Capitalism is the equalizer in that if you have a better idea you can compete and win.

I call BS on that. History is far too chaotic. James Burke had a couple of series that showed a “Pinball” approach to history. They were “Connections” and “The Day The Universe Changed”. Random occurrences, luck plays a role. Yes, individual skills and work can be needed to utilize that luck, but luck plays a role. Look up the odds of surviving gastrulation if you doubt me. What constitutes a “Free” market? It doesn’t exist and has never existed except in the cases of niche markets for limited amounts of time. Economics, like the other social sciences is not as straight forward as mathematics, chemistry, or physics. In the latter two certain assumptions are made, but they’re made with an awareness of those assumptions. Physics will use massless strings and frictionless pulleys when teaching concepts. Chemistry uses homogenous solutions and uniform transitions in similar ways. They are useful when you acknowledge the limitations of your models. Any study involving people will involve specific individual reactions that really don’t model well. It gets more individualized when you have LEADERS. And that doesn’t have to be just political leaders. Would our space program look the same if Von Braun never came to the US? Would we have developed the bomb without Oppenheimer? Those people weren’t monolithic geniuses. They had help. They would acknowledge that help. They would probably have been influential in any society. Maybe. The social Darwinist might play up their individual capabilities regardless of the society they were in, proving the superiority of certain individuals. It’s an experiment we can’t do, although Hitler tried. I don’t think life is like a video game where you can restart and try a different strategy. And that is why the what if arguments get so volatile when talking about politics. It’s opinion not a repeatable experiment. Feelings aren’t necessarily logical or rational. Revenge is an ideal example. It’s never an eye for an eye. It’s an eye and a finger for an eye. How would you punish a mass/serial killer? You can only kill them once.

http://undertheradar.military.com/2014/12/5-chinese-military-uniform-fails/
Obviously not a G string, but stringy underwear none the less. Way back when the riots at Tiananmen Square were going on I heard that the military used their belts as flails. I have seen articles where people say that it’s not a good idea. The belt buckle doesn’t really do enough damage to deter an attack. I also heard that the belt buckles they were issued were quite heavy and capable of causing severe injuries. I seem to recall hearing that motorcycle chains worn as belts can be effective flails also.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2013/jan/16/russian-soldiers-replacing-foot-wraps-socks

I remember seeing an Army training film about Russian foot wraps when I was in basic training. I can’t believe they used them that long. They did look interesting.

OKAY,

NOW DO YOU APPRECIATE THE UNDERWEAR AND SOCKS?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouroboros
As a Red Dwarf fan there is of course that reference. The unending circle of life, consuming and being consumed all at once, a Greek version of Yin/Yang or of the Phoenix, it’s all of those. First the bird eats the ants, after the bird dies the ants eat the bird.

Wild lost in the ozone again

Epitaph, Where is the Cursor?

I’m right here. Language evolves, new words are formed, old words take on new meanings. My tagline, Crosswords increase your vocabulary, cross words increase your blood pressure, came to mind earlier. I bought a new computer recently. I went from a desktop to a laptop. It’s different. It takes getting used to. It has an HDMI output. I decided to try it. I have a Hulu plus account and one thing that is a bit irritating is that not everything can stream to my Blu-ray player. I can watch those on my computer though. Well if I use the HDMI from the computer I can just set the computer next to the TV and get a larger screen and a more comfortable roost. Worked really well except that I don’t have a remote for my computer. I did have to move the cursor to the far edge. It struck me that the people who never worked with technology might not know the term cursor. People that use computer technology often curse at it. Cursor, it fits! And crazy people that talk to themselves can just don a Bluetooth ala Dr House and no one thinks they’re crazy. Then my mind goes to the prurient after I see a facebook post about a computer that projects on your arm and turns on and off by sudden moves. Guys would have a terrible time watching internet porn on that. I didn’t find the same video on Youtube, but this looks kinda cool too.

Epitaph can refer to a swear word or the last word{s} on your tombstone. Funny that.

Wild

Faerie Tails, Who Is The Fairest Of All?

Should I say something tack-ay? Actually I follow George on Facebook. He posts a ton of really funny stuff. Shall I start quoting? “I would prefer not to.” So said Bartleby the Scrivener. An interesting story and a couple of entertaining films. Who is the more curious character, Bartleby or the narrator? Bartleby is the epitome of passive non-compliance. The narrator prefers not to deal with his inertia. When faced with the immovable Bartleby the narrator is NOT an irresistible force. Crispin Glover was an excellent casting choice.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartleby

Ferry tales, Charon was the ferry-man who took people across Styx. During the time Pluto was a planet it was discovered to have a moon. The discoverer gets to name new stuff, but they are supposed to be theme consistent. So it was named Charon. I’ve heard a rumor that the wife of the discoverer was named Sharon. If there are no tails in that story I’m sure the group Styx had at least one groupie named Sharon.

There is a small galaxy near the Milky Way named Snickers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snickers_%28galaxy%29
Rules were meant to be broken.

Wild

It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature

Because she will be a bitch and fuck you up. No the last line wasn’t in the commercial. Today {Saturday} was the first day over 70 here. It was 83 according to the thermometer in my vehicle. In other words, HOT. I actually expected that. It’s been so cold for so long here, I knew that we would just skip spring and start summer. What I didn’t figure on was that summer would be one day and then we would skip fall and go back to winter again. I haven’t checked today, but last night they were predicting a chance of snow tonight. WTF! I saw some lightning, but I just ignored it. I’m inside and I’m not like the forest ranger that was struck 7 times. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Sullivan

Speaking of Mother Nature, Dena Dietrich played Mother Nature in the commercials

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiffon_margarine

Sometimes I get nostalgic for the old commercials
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morris_the_Cat

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spuds_MacKenzie

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperial_Margarine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkay

And none of it made in China. Prior to Nixon we really didn’t trade with China.

Wild