Monthly Archives: June 2013

Two Finns for a Sawbuck, Mired in the BOG

Sometimes when people get angry they lash out with the most nonsensical things. At work a custodian who was told that he will have to work the fourth and it won’t be on his regular shift got mad about it. I can understand that. Then he was told to change the battery in the clock in the breakroom, now this is where it gets a little weird. Any where else and it would be extremely weird, where I work the excuses people use have to be heard to be believed. Believed that they were used, not believed that they were true. He pawned it off on another maintenance guy. He said he didn’t know how to do it. That wasn’t quite the reaction I expected. I expected him to replace the battery, but to avoid setting the time because he wasn’t specifically told to do that. Just for clarification, no I did not run away from home and join the circus. Anyway, it got me to thinking. Okay, you don’t know how to change batteries. If you were a woman with a BOB you’d be in a bit of a jam. {A non-vibrating jam} So the counterpart to BOB must be BOG, Battery Operated Girlfriend. Silly me, I start thinking crosswords again. BOG, sounds like bog, swampy, mucky, mired, a fen. Fen, sounds like fin. Kinda fishy. Smells like fish she’s a real dish, Red Dwarf; Fish,…Fish,…Fish,…Fish,…Fish. The cat did five, right AB? Okay, fin, also sounds like Finn. That would be a Finnish person. Danny Jean-Joules doesn’t look Finnish. Fin, 20’s era gangster slang for five dollars. Sawbuck, ten dollars.

Now you know why I stay up all night writing jibberish.

RHPS, you have to lose your sanity to keep it. Hey Rocky watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat. A retired coworker has the nickname Rocky. I couldn’t say hey, without completing the phrase after I was past him.


The Caine Mutiny, Commander Crunch Sir

Something popped into my head last night, if you have dental work done and you get numbed up the nearby parts feel strange and somehow larger than what they were. It kinda has that feeling of being way swelled up. That’s the Novocaine. It’s the same way when they use other numbing agents. In the Army they used Lidocaine. Benzocaine is another topical. Curiously, when I googled that for spelling an ad for “Boy butter” came up. Really don’t feel like going there right now. Anyway, the point is numbing agents make you feel swelled up. Last year when I had surgery for kidney stones, they used scopes to check it out, they put a stent in for a while then took the stent out, they put a catheter in. During those visits they used a topical numbing agent before seeing how many tubes they could put up my urethra. NOT EVEN ONCE DID IT FEEL LARGER AND SWELLED UP!!! And during those times it was a female doctor, or a female intern. The actual surgery part of it was done by a male, but I was put under for that.

In other non-news, Leno has mentioned in his monologue that Capt Crunch isn’t really a Capt. The insignia on his uniform indicates a commander. In Basic Training we learned rank insignias for other branches, or at least we were supposed to. I never did retain Naval insignia. I was in training with James T. Kirk though. And since we were in the Army and he could never be Admiral, I wonder if he ever made it past Capt.

Things are acting peculiar again. At first my word count didn’t register, then the tags wouldn’t attach, so I saved a draft. Then everything worked.


Serfin’ for the BiTsar, think about it.

Goldie and Gerard seem to be getting into it.

I wonder how this one would have went over?

Putin is one of those odd ducks. One the one hand he can seem charming and personable. On the other hand I wouldn’t want to be on his enemies list.

I decided to look up the word pulchritude.

And since they mention it, sepulchre.

And that isn’t quite the same as

I had thought of sepulchre as a container of relics or remains. It could be just artifacts.

I think of pulchritude as large breasts.

Now, why do you think I put this odd collection in one post? I wonder what Raisa looks like now?

No, that’s not the right answer, but good try.

Talking to oneself is fine as long as the arguments don’t result in physical violence.

That’s a GOOD answer.


I learned something today.

I heard about a sex practice that I had never heard of before.

People that know me, also know that it has got to be really really weird if *I* have never heard of it.

I would never give or receive doing this.

And if your mom said you’d go blind, she might be right this time.

Okay enough suspense.

Now to see if it is actually posting. Preview doesn’t seem to be working. I’ve tried three news sites and youtube and the link doesn’t show. I’ll try saving a draft first.

I got the video on there, now I can’t get tags.

Okay, TAG you’re it. I wonder if the news sites will be postable now?

Well it’s all working now. That’s a more correct statement than saying it’s all good now.

I am really falling behind on reading other blogs. I’ll read more tomorrow. Tomorrow is only a day away. {Annie I think}


Hm, which would you rather see, Fun with Gus, or a Dick Pic?

Ah! A Dick pic it shall be then. Observe;

I would’ve expected a thumbnail there. Dick pic, thumbnail, sounds painful. Richard Long, and at 6 ft I would call that a big Dick. He was also in a couple of Twilight Zones. I enjoyed watching him. Forty Seven is really young to die of multiple heart attacks. Well, that was my idea for a Dick pic. Did I offend anyone? I’ll try harder next time. Hm, a HARDER Dick pic next time, I’ll have to give that some thought.

Had to work overtime today, I really wish people wouldn’t break stuff fifteen minutes before I am supposed to leave. It makes me that much more tired when I get home.

Flat Tax? Thumb Tacks? Just Plain Tacky? YES!! That Was It!

I got almost nothing done this weekend. Where does the time go. I’m behind on every blog I read now. The shows I usually catch up on through Hulu/Netflix remain unwatched. I haven’t posted in a few days. I haven’t done hardly any housework.

I really should give credit where credit is due. The last part of the title is a takeoff from Douglas Adams. The Captain of the B ark tells Arthur and Ford that the ship is programmed to crash, not land, and Ford says, “You’re all a bunch of useless bloody loonies!” The Captain says, “Yes! That was it! That was the reason!”

As for credit about not doing anything, that was due to me. I got lazy.

Curiosity might not always kill the cat, sometimes it baptizes it. At work our loading dock is not heated, but it still is protected by a sprinkler system. Since it does get chilly here in Iowa they fill those sprinkler pipes with compressed air and they only fill with water when the air pressures drops. Someone snagged a piece of equipment on a sprinkler and tried to force it out from under the sprinkler head. It snapped off and the two people in question were not in maintenance and not familiar with how the fire system works. They heard the air, they stood under it and looked at it. ……. Then they were blasted with nasty stagnant water that had been sitting in the pipes quite a while. I didn’t see it. I get along with both of them, but it would still have been hilarious to see them sprayed. It would even have been worth having to clean up the mess afterward. Even when you know where the cut-off is, an awful lot of water can end up on the floor before you get it shut off.

I mentioned this song to a coworker, and he didn’t recognize it. We sang it in music class quite a bit. I didn’t like it then, but it grows on you with time {a lot of things are like that, fungus, bugs, gross things, etc.}

A couple of things come to mind with this song. In Fahrenheit 451, all the houses have aerial antennas, except the house with the books{and the firemen start fires not put them out}. In this video the garage has a satellite dish, it looks like one of the old ones.

Perhaps this is the remnant of some bizarre childhood event, but I can’t help wondering what ticky-tacky is, and would it be fun to play with. Yes, I can be disgusting sometimes.

Speaking of that, it’s getting late I should go to bed now.


To Do Born-Again French? French-Born Again? Born-French Again?

Renaissance Faire, Those are French words. Faire is the verb to do, to have to do, to must. Renaissance, rebirth, fellow crossword enthusiasts often see nee in the puzzles, French for born as.

One of the featured videos on You-tube has a variation on the Safety Dance. I like the original song. It reminds me of Renaissance Fairs, and that reminds me of a friends sister. Red hair and a fiery smokin hot personality. Only saw her once. Body parts are body parts they vary in size shape and color, but I’m adaptable I’m willing to lavish attention on whatever she considers to be her best feature. Visually she appeared to have the standard number and type of orifices and protuberances. But her personality was uniquely her own. She lived on a houseboat and traveled the country performing in Renaissance Festivals. The idea of fucking in costume, in character, is exciting to me. I’ve never done that. Her experience playing different roles would make her very interesting. She would’ve been quite the adventure. Although the lifestyle would not suit me. Living in a boat and traveling essentially all the time would not suit me at all. My friend was open minded enough to talk to me about his sister. We were all in our 30’s then. It wasn’t like we were just out of high school or anything. He started giving me some more lifestyle info. She was pretty much wild and free with no roots. I couldn’t handle that as a lifestyle. I could try that as a vacation, a sabbatical even, a lifetime no. I don’t want to live in a boat.

But I do like this song. It also makes me think about my brother. He was the one to get me started dancing. Quoting him, “Get her dancing, then it’s easier to get her in bed.”


Want Some Pi? Squaresville Man

Word play, puns, all that would be missing if we were telepathic. Jokes don’t often translate well under the best of conditions. And if you have to explain it, well, is it really worth the trouble. The Dalai Lama visited Cedar Falls Iowa either last year or the year before. A reporter thought he’d be really clever and asked him, “If you order a pizza would it be one with everything?” The joke works in English, it’s just painful if it takes 10 minutes to explain it. Although I would’ve expected him to have heard that joke at some point in time.

Your past can haunt you. The history of squares is a mixed bag, can you dig it? Square deals, we’re square, eat a square meal, those are good.

Calling someone a square is bad? Hank Hill wouldn’t agree, but such is the life of cartoons. Tangents to a circle form right angles and as such are square. Maybe the idea of a square meal started with a pizza. Pythagoras regarded squaring a circle in religious terms. Revealing irrational numbers was heresy, and they didn’t know of any regular solids bigger than a dodecahedron. Eat more fiber. The 3,4,5 right triangle was probably the ancients easiest way of making a square. Their cartoons weren’t moving.

I sometimes save drafts with cryptic notes to remind me of post ideas. This is one such post. I had noted meals, deals, hair. What was I thinking, square hair? That’s why it was a cryptic note, crypts can be nasty smelly places. Being buried doesn’t sound like a lot of fun either. Maybe I was thinking about someone with long hair getting a crew cut. There was an episode of Room 222 like that. My sister liked that show, I only watched it when she got her way.

We had one film in math class.

Gotta like them square roots. I think that was why I had hair down. I was going to make some remark about dying one’s hair and having different colored roots, ie square roots. I guess I let my hair down by forgetting that joke. See what I mean by painful explanations?


Do You Want a Whopper?

Hands free? Can you manage it? Joe’s Garage and Dong Work for Yuda come flying into my mind. “Well how much did he wave?”

BK have it your way. They’ve introduced a hands free whopper.

Does that include chocolate syrup, honey, whip cream, or maybe high fructose corn syrup {Karo}?

Not often I quote Fox News, in this case I would call it a feed bag.

Now that your hands are free, whatya goin to do with ’em?