Tag Archives: expect the unexpected

Telephone Tits

You might ask, exactly what are — telephone tits?

I’m glad you asked. It allows me to expound on one of my favorite subjects, historical advertising trivia!

Okay, I have through a gazillion photos looking for the Bell Telephone ad that ran in the early 70’s. It was featured in a mid 70’s edition of Hustler magazine. It was cited in the book “Subliminal Seduction”. And I have been unable to locate it. It showed a woman holding one of the old wooden box phones that had an attached microphone and an earpiece on a cord. It had two bells on the front. Guess where they were on the model. RING those bells, we have a winner!

BTW, my searches also yielded this,
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fs3-ak.buzzfeed.com%2Fstatic%2F2015-01%2F14%2F15%2Ftmp%2Fwebdr10%2F937f35121dc696b11dd94654938f5359-10.png&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailydot.com%2Fvia%2Fsigns-that-craigslist-ad-is-fake%2F&docid=udHSVOZK_hly1M&tbnid=rBzkrmGuU8Z72M%3A&vet=1&w=568&h=251&bih=659&biw=1366&ved=0ahUKEwjD_8vhsa_QAhVp2oMKHbPpD1M4hAcQMwhRKE4wTg&iact=mrc&uact=8

I don’t duck the issues!

Reach out and touch someone!
Touch!
You might be surprised at their response be it a squeak or a giggle.

Wild

is your phone on vibrate?

Johnny Needs a Walker

Brandy is dating Alexander while Jim Beams.

I was going to post a video of an SNL skit with Garrett Morris as Johnny Walker, and other characters as booze related hallucinations. I couldn’t find it.

For shame.

As my breath is heavy with alcohol I will say that the point of pasta is not the sprinkling of Parmesan, but it is the savoring of the sauce. Oh what a sauce! Be it hot and garlicy or a buttery alfredo, it is such a taste sensation. It fills the mouth with pleasure.

Wild

A Text Message from AD 1509

You think I’m joking?!?!

Would *I* joke about something like that?

Well of course I would. That’s not the point.

It’s actually the shaft, not the point. The point leads, the shaft follows.

Do you want to get the shaft?

Maybe I can help. I’ll tell you a story.

In English.
Once upon a time I blogged on a site that had both free and paid memberships. As the site got more popular they wanted to be paid for more and more stuff. I didn’t want to pay for it. I told them a story on my blog. Some gold members tried to e-mail me. I still did not want to pay for it. The site wouldn’t let me see what those members wrote.

They told me I had messages. They just blurred them out. Then I had an idea. I remembered a trick I had used on their blogs. {please bear with me at this point. I was too lazy to figure out how exactly to do this on this platform}. If you select a font color that is very similar to the background color the text is almost, or if they are the same- impossible to read. BUT, and that is a *very* big butt, it is easily readable if you highlight the text for copy/cut. Laziness precludes my showing you that.

I tried that with the blurred out e-mails from gold members. AHA! Clear text! Well sort of. It’s in a different language. It looks like Latin. I can’t translate Latin. Let’s see if the internet can!

No.

Well, sort of no.

It had nothing to do with the original message. It was NOT a Latin translation of that e-mail.

It was the Lorem Ipsom.

A sex/dating/meat market site used an ethics post from 1509AD to blank out text.
http://www.lipsum.com/

Wild with a sticky post for messages

Okaaaayyy, After my head explodes I’ll make a Political Post

http://www.businessinsider.com/hannity-glenn-beck-trump-2016-10

The preview didn’t give details. Good. I’m not sure how many times my head can explode.

I find myself agreeing with Glenn—-whoops there goes my head again.

Okay, okay, Red Dwarf fans bear with me. This is like Kryten contemplating ketchup with lobster.

Rhett Butler Answers Rhetorical Question Without Reticence

And rhetoric can get so tiresome. If you see a headline that immediately causes any reasonable thinking person to explode with rage, bear in mind that there is probably more to the story.

There are shades of gray. There are more than fifty shades of grey even.

YES!!! I spelled them differently. Are we going to argue about the a or the e?

Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.

But….. May you be half an hour in Heaven before the devil knows you’re dead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf0E_PJtJWg

You can think what you want right?

Maybe. You could go somewhere less constrained just remember to floss.

Or maybe not.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/f7e66079d9ba4b4985d7af350619a9e3/medical-benefits-dental-floss-unproven

Wild
Someday I will have to watch the movie.

Anomalies

Do you ever find yourself thinking that so-and-so was really really hot. And then you look at the date it was made and realize that so-and-so is ancient if they are even alive.

Does that make a difference?

What difference does it make?

Now if you were paying attention the second question implies a positive response to the first question, and therefore one appropriate response might be “Fuck You!”

I like that. Stand up proud for how you feel.

However I am not like that myself. I find almost all fetishes interesting from an intellectual standpoint. Well what the Hell do you like, people might ask me. Being as much a part of your orgasm as I can be, would be my response. Being part of that moment when you go past the point of no return is what really gets me going.

So what does that have to do with anything?

Absolutely nothing!!!

Unless you like antique porn. Or you can imagine what it would be like to have sex with historical figures.

That is unfortunately one of my hangups.

Sexy silent film stars rock

modern dentistry helps

Blood is Thicker than Water, or even Pee for that Matter

I had a nightmare last week. I hesitate to call it a night mare as opposed to a night stallion or night swayback nag, or a night gelding.

And when I have a nightmare it isn’t so much about incredible fear. That is actually part of the quandary. What did that dream mean? Here are some examples I have wrote about in the past.
https://wildoats1962.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/turnip-dreams-and-other-things/
https://wildoats1962.wordpress.com/2013/04/20/not-another-turnip-dream/

The dream I had last week had nothing to do with turnips.

Just thought I should tell you that. In the dream a friend of mine was traveling by car through my area and needed a place to rest overnight. I told him that I could put him up for the night no problem. In the dream I was living in an extremely large, very old, ancestral home with lots of extra rooms. This was odd since no one in my family has ever owned a house like that. Anyway, after my friend shows up a bunch of relatives also show up wanting to stay. Then more relatives show up, and more still. I run out of usable rooms. There are more rooms but they are full of junk. Everybody pitches in and it’s rather late but they all get cleared. We did discover that a rock slide had penetrated one wall. Strange that we didn’t even notice that earlier. As I was getting ready to go to sleep I decided to pee first. The bathroom was large with several chairs and people talking in there. Somehow that seemed normal. I started peeing and it was coming out blood. I don’t mean it was urine mixed with pee. It was all blood. While the relatives were commenting on that and asking if I was okay it dawned on me that they were all relatives that had died long ago. THAT bugged me. I woke up soon after that when I had to pee in real life. It was with great trepidation that I went to the bathroom. In 2012 I had some surgery that caused me to pee blood for about a month. When it is mostly blood coming out it feels weird because BLOOD IS THICKER then pee. Semen is also thicker then pee but feels much better coming out than blood does.

I could say TMI, but that also stands for Three Mile Island and I didn’t have a meltdown because of the dream.

Wild