Tag Archives: Happiness

Johnny Needs a Walker

Brandy is dating Alexander while Jim Beams.

I was going to post a video of an SNL skit with Garrett Morris as Johnny Walker, and other characters as booze related hallucinations. I couldn’t find it.

For shame.

As my breath is heavy with alcohol I will say that the point of pasta is not the sprinkling of Parmesan, but it is the savoring of the sauce. Oh what a sauce! Be it hot and garlicy or a buttery alfredo, it is such a taste sensation. It fills the mouth with pleasure.

Wild

A Text Message from AD 1509

You think I’m joking?!?!

Would *I* joke about something like that?

Well of course I would. That’s not the point.

It’s actually the shaft, not the point. The point leads, the shaft follows.

Do you want to get the shaft?

Maybe I can help. I’ll tell you a story.

In English.
Once upon a time I blogged on a site that had both free and paid memberships. As the site got more popular they wanted to be paid for more and more stuff. I didn’t want to pay for it. I told them a story on my blog. Some gold members tried to e-mail me. I still did not want to pay for it. The site wouldn’t let me see what those members wrote.

They told me I had messages. They just blurred them out. Then I had an idea. I remembered a trick I had used on their blogs. {please bear with me at this point. I was too lazy to figure out how exactly to do this on this platform}. If you select a font color that is very similar to the background color the text is almost, or if they are the same- impossible to read. BUT, and that is a *very* big butt, it is easily readable if you highlight the text for copy/cut. Laziness precludes my showing you that.

I tried that with the blurred out e-mails from gold members. AHA! Clear text! Well sort of. It’s in a different language. It looks like Latin. I can’t translate Latin. Let’s see if the internet can!

No.

Well, sort of no.

It had nothing to do with the original message. It was NOT a Latin translation of that e-mail.

It was the Lorem Ipsom.

A sex/dating/meat market site used an ethics post from 1509AD to blank out text.
http://www.lipsum.com/

Wild with a sticky post for messages

Mr Spork, I Call You Runcible

It’s flooding here in Iowa. My house is on high ground, but yesterday I was almost an island. It was worse in 2008. There’s been a lot of comparisons in the news. One thing about that though. That flood was in the spring/early summer. We don’t usually get floods in the fall. And 500 year floods shouldn’t be happening 8 years apart.

http://lb.511ia.org/ialb/winterdriving/routeselect.jsf?view=state&text=m&textOnly=false

In 2008 the map at the 511 website had closures all over the state.

What does that have to do with anything? Well, since runcible is a nonsense word it has everything to do with it. I thought of the title first. Finding material to write about it is a little harder. Although I did learn that I was mistaken about a bit of trivia. I saw a commercial where they mentioned the inventiveness of whoever came up with the idea of a spork. The ad made it sound like a relatively recent invention. I had heard the term “Runcible spoon” and falsely assumed it was a much older term describing a spoon fork hybrid. I thought there might have been a person named Runcible. Nope.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runcible

Several years ago there was a car ad that really touted an ignition button on the dash. The ad claimed it was a new innovation. The person designing the ad had apparently never seen a pre-WWII car with an ignition button on the dash. They didn’t run the ad for very long so they must’ve figured it out. Advertising can provide a snapshot of consumer culture. Calgon, Take me away!”

That was hilarious. Hey, it fits in with consumer culture.

Wild

Rhett Butler Answers Rhetorical Question Without Reticence

And rhetoric can get so tiresome. If you see a headline that immediately causes any reasonable thinking person to explode with rage, bear in mind that there is probably more to the story.

There are shades of gray. There are more than fifty shades of grey even.

YES!!! I spelled them differently. Are we going to argue about the a or the e?

Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.

But….. May you be half an hour in Heaven before the devil knows you’re dead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf0E_PJtJWg

You can think what you want right?

Maybe. You could go somewhere less constrained just remember to floss.

Or maybe not.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/f7e66079d9ba4b4985d7af350619a9e3/medical-benefits-dental-floss-unproven

Wild
Someday I will have to watch the movie.

Of Mice And Men

The best laid plans sounds like something you might find on a sex site.

Mice – pestilence carrying rodents, not a good choice for dating.

Men – attributes vary wildly, might be a good date depending on your preferences of the moment. A man-date is something politicians often talk about. They usually want one. Strangely they often want one even if they are male and anti-LGBT rights.

Well let’s look at the mice again.

It could be a touch mouse or a rollerball, perhaps even optical.

That doesn’t sound like much of a date?

Well if you take the mouse to a sex site…..

You won’t find Denisovans but perhaps Neanderthals would be good enough

Not a lot of words to this song but what would you expect from Neanderthals.

B.W.B. Babes Without Borders

I’m pretty much an equal opportunity ogler. There are people that are easy on the eyes in most countries. I certainly enjoy looking at them. A Miss Universe contest featuring only humans does seem a bit egocentric for the species though. It could be xenophobia I suppose. On Gilligan’s Island Gilligan managed to avoid trouble by picking Gladys. She was the only native.

There might be other natives in the universe. Would they be babes? What characteristics define a “Babe”? Well the word babe is closely related to the word baby. There is a survival benefit for babies to be cute. How many would be conceived or born if a mother’s reaction were “That ugly thing came out of me! It Hurt!!”

Babies like milk glands, mammalian ones anyway. Their fathers often like milk glands too. Sometimes politicians like milk glands. They even kiss babies sometimes. Some aren’t sure what they should kiss. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilbur_Mills Or who they should kiss https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Sanford

It should be noted that if you tell your family and security detail that you will be gone hiking, you might want to pick some other time than nude hiking week. http://www.hikingnaked.com/index.php?topic=103.0;prev_next=next

Politicians aren’t always known for good decisions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK8Iowe83-A
The blond behind Dean is pretty cute. The hearings interrupted my cartoons so yes I did watch the hearings despite being rather young. I started following politics after that. I have no idea if the blond aged well. Physical beauty is transient. Elizabeth Sladen was very pretty, but she’s been dead about 5 years so her appearance has suffered I’m sure. I’ll lose a lot of weight after I die, especially if my wife has me cremated. Celluloid lasts longer than people. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0805207/?ref_=nv_sr_1 Recycling through the carbon cycle is independent of national borders but largely limited by planetary borders unless you are considering time scales large enough to say that we are all just “Star Stuff” to quote Carl Sagan.

So what makes a babe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

and that might trigger a Christmas wish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUZqfByAOUs

I have some different ideas. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj-UqKjOwwo

Wild

Fighting Fire With Fire, or at least a really big hose

Sometimes I get a little tired of people grandstanding on supposedly moral issues. So I’ll do the grandstanding myself.

What bathroom should you use?

Well what are you going to do in there?

When someone complains about transgender folks using the wrong bathroom they always use the example of a anatomically male person using the ladies room. Fine. We can designate ALL restrooms as men’s rooms and the only issue will be females using the wrong restroom.

Why do the most vocal critics always use the example of a male in the ladies room? That’s rather sexist and paternalistic if you ask me. I think it is based in the opinion that gender ambiguity isn’t real. They seem to doubt that one can have a set of genitals that are different from one’s gender identity. Therefore people who want to use the “Wrong” restroom just want to perv in there.

I disagree.

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/118/2/753?sso=1&sso_redirect_count=1&nfstatus=401&nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token

Sometimes a babies’ gender is not apparent. The parents or the doctors decide what to make it. Sometimes they are wrong. This person thinks mistakes get made.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morgan_Holmes

Now, if you have a child with a definite gender and that gender is different from your own, where do you take the kid to potty when you’re not home?

Just increase the number of single occupancy restrooms. Make better, bigger partitions if that’s the only way. Just don’t assume anybody different from you must be evil.

Wild