On Point

As if.

As if I ever stay on point.

What is the point?

Get to the point!

Stay on point!

OUCH! FUCK YOU!

It is not natural to stay on point. It is ego that pushes staying on point. If not the dancer’s ego then the ego of the teacher or parents.

But isn’t ego why we push ourselves in any endeavor?

Yes

Is ego bad?

Mostly.

In grade school I was the best at math, science, spelling, and almost anything except gym.

That made me egotistical.

I’m still egotistical.

BUT NOW I KNOW I AM NOT THE BEST AT THINKING.

But I haven’t given up at thinking either. I think about a lot of things.

It is better to look down a woman’s shirt than to see her boobs clearly.
It is better to watch a cancan dance than to see the undergarments without the dancing.

An emotional connection is the best ever.

A physical connection will do for the moment. Hey, masturbation doesn’t even require that. If you can at least help someone else to get off that should be a bonus. Think! They came because of what you did! Good job!!!

Was it the best cum of their life?

See! That’s where it all falls apart!

Would life be better as an incubus/succubus?

Wild

A Text Message from AD 1509

You think I’m joking?!?!

Would *I* joke about something like that?

Well of course I would. That’s not the point.

It’s actually the shaft, not the point. The point leads, the shaft follows.

Do you want to get the shaft?

Maybe I can help. I’ll tell you a story.

In English.
Once upon a time I blogged on a site that had both free and paid memberships. As the site got more popular they wanted to be paid for more and more stuff. I didn’t want to pay for it. I told them a story on my blog. Some gold members tried to e-mail me. I still did not want to pay for it. The site wouldn’t let me see what those members wrote.

They told me I had messages. They just blurred them out. Then I had an idea. I remembered a trick I had used on their blogs. {please bear with me at this point. I was too lazy to figure out how exactly to do this on this platform}. If you select a font color that is very similar to the background color the text is almost, or if they are the same- impossible to read. BUT, and that is a *very* big butt, it is easily readable if you highlight the text for copy/cut. Laziness precludes my showing you that.

I tried that with the blurred out e-mails from gold members. AHA! Clear text! Well sort of. It’s in a different language. It looks like Latin. I can’t translate Latin. Let’s see if the internet can!

No.

Well, sort of no.

It had nothing to do with the original message. It was NOT a Latin translation of that e-mail.

It was the Lorem Ipsom.

A sex/dating/meat market site used an ethics post from 1509AD to blank out text.
http://www.lipsum.com/

Wild with a sticky post for messages

Okaaaayyy, After my head explodes I’ll make a Political Post

http://www.businessinsider.com/hannity-glenn-beck-trump-2016-10

The preview didn’t give details. Good. I’m not sure how many times my head can explode.

I find myself agreeing with Glenn—-whoops there goes my head again.

Okay, okay, Red Dwarf fans bear with me. This is like Kryten contemplating ketchup with lobster.

This Dream Takes the Cake

One function of my blog is to serve as a dream journal when I wake up from a particularly odd dream. It can be but isn’t necessarily consistent in it’s continuity. There is an episode of House where Dr House attempts to determine reality from hallucination by looking for breaks in continuity. This dream had several, but memory is a tricky thing because it tends to edit for continuity. That’s why it’s important to write down bits of the dream while they are still fresh. Observations about the dream are in italics. Here it is.

My coworker K. and I were discussing another coworker’s event. Specifically we were discussing the cake. Should it be a full sheet cake or less? What flavor? First real lack of coherence, we were discussing MAKING the cake. Who has an oven big enough for a whole sheet cake? We decide to go to the store and buy a box of cake mix. ONE, regular sized box. We are in the kitchen, continuity jump, part of why dreams seem so weird.
I turn the box over for instructions, gee, why wouldn’t I do that at the store before buying it? instead of instructions there is a news story. Must be Al Gore’s fault. Only in the internet age would there be news stories on the backs of boxes of cake mix. The article is about a winery employee trolling for kids when elementary school classes tour the winery. He gets them drunk. I don’t work at a winery in the dream or real life. I just see the story. I’ve been awake long enough now that the sharp jumps in the dreamline are fading. I am beginning to forget the dream. Lights come on and a car runs into my car knocking me off the road! It’s Buford T. Justice pulling me over! Highly startling break in continuity, in other words WTF! It’s the scene from Smokey and the Bandit where Jackie Gleason is standing at the driver’s window. It’s garbled, I don’t remember the scene well enough to dream it clearly. There are strange noises. Outside noises are impinging on my dream, Danger!! IS SOMEONE IN MY HOUSE!!!

At that point I woke up. Groggy, but unable to identify where the noise is coming from or what it is.

Okay, road construction outside my house. Mystery solved. I think the car crash was the noise of a backhoe dislodging concrete. I’m kind of surprised the jackhammer didn’t turn into gunfire.

Some days I don’t sleep well.

Wild

Rhett Butler Answers Rhetorical Question Without Reticence

And rhetoric can get so tiresome. If you see a headline that immediately causes any reasonable thinking person to explode with rage, bear in mind that there is probably more to the story.

There are shades of gray. There are more than fifty shades of grey even.

YES!!! I spelled them differently. Are we going to argue about the a or the e?

Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.

But….. May you be half an hour in Heaven before the devil knows you’re dead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf0E_PJtJWg

You can think what you want right?

Maybe. You could go somewhere less constrained just remember to floss.

Or maybe not.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/f7e66079d9ba4b4985d7af350619a9e3/medical-benefits-dental-floss-unproven

Wild
Someday I will have to watch the movie.

Anomalies

Do you ever find yourself thinking that so-and-so was really really hot. And then you look at the date it was made and realize that so-and-so is ancient if they are even alive.

Does that make a difference?

What difference does it make?

Now if you were paying attention the second question implies a positive response to the first question, and therefore one appropriate response might be “Fuck You!”

I like that. Stand up proud for how you feel.

However I am not like that myself. I find almost all fetishes interesting from an intellectual standpoint. Well what the Hell do you like, people might ask me. Being as much a part of your orgasm as I can be, would be my response. Being part of that moment when you go past the point of no return is what really gets me going.

So what does that have to do with anything?

Absolutely nothing!!!

Unless you like antique porn. Or you can imagine what it would be like to have sex with historical figures.

That is unfortunately one of my hangups.

Sexy silent film stars rock

modern dentistry helps

Blood is Thicker than Water, or even Pee for that Matter

I had a nightmare last week. I hesitate to call it a night mare as opposed to a night stallion or night swayback nag, or a night gelding.

And when I have a nightmare it isn’t so much about incredible fear. That is actually part of the quandary. What did that dream mean? Here are some examples I have wrote about in the past.

Turnip Dreams and Other Things

Not Another Turnip Dream

The dream I had last week had nothing to do with turnips.

Just thought I should tell you that. In the dream a friend of mine was traveling by car through my area and needed a place to rest overnight. I told him that I could put him up for the night no problem. In the dream I was living in an extremely large, very old, ancestral home with lots of extra rooms. This was odd since no one in my family has ever owned a house like that. Anyway, after my friend shows up a bunch of relatives also show up wanting to stay. Then more relatives show up, and more still. I run out of usable rooms. There are more rooms but they are full of junk. Everybody pitches in and it’s rather late but they all get cleared. We did discover that a rock slide had penetrated one wall. Strange that we didn’t even notice that earlier. As I was getting ready to go to sleep I decided to pee first. The bathroom was large with several chairs and people talking in there. Somehow that seemed normal. I started peeing and it was coming out blood. I don’t mean it was urine mixed with pee. It was all blood. While the relatives were commenting on that and asking if I was okay it dawned on me that they were all relatives that had died long ago. THAT bugged me. I woke up soon after that when I had to pee in real life. It was with great trepidation that I went to the bathroom. In 2012 I had some surgery that caused me to pee blood for about a month. When it is mostly blood coming out it feels weird because BLOOD IS THICKER then pee. Semen is also thicker then pee but feels much better coming out than blood does.

I could say TMI, but that also stands for Three Mile Island and I didn’t have a meltdown because of the dream.

Wild

Of Mice And Men

The best laid plans sounds like something you might find on a sex site.

Mice – pestilence carrying rodents, not a good choice for dating.

Men – attributes vary wildly, might be a good date depending on your preferences of the moment. A man-date is something politicians often talk about. They usually want one. Strangely they often want one even if they are male and anti-LGBT rights.

Well let’s look at the mice again.

It could be a touch mouse or a rollerball, perhaps even optical.

That doesn’t sound like much of a date?

Well if you take the mouse to a sex site…..

You won’t find Denisovans but perhaps Neanderthals would be good enough

Not a lot of words to this song but what would you expect from Neanderthals.

Doing Laps, Vanity and The Blob

Went to the doctor yesterday. I’m still alive.

The Irish Rovers used to always end the show with one of two sayings. “May you be be half an hour in Heaven before the devil knows you’re dead.” And “May you live as long as you want to and may you want to as long as you live.”

The doctor gave me the usual talk about losing weight, but he did pick up on something without me saying it directly. He told me that my weight would significantly shorten my life. Then he said that doesn’t mean I’ll die a quick death from a heart attack. He told me that when his elderly patients say they’re ready to go he reminds them they could have debilitating incidents that don’t kill them, like strokes. If dying doesn’t scare me he will tell me about other possibilities. I have been exercising more. My A1C has been below 6 for 2 years now. I never did have to take diabetic meds. I can stop doing the test strips now though. How would the obituary read? Last words were, “I said I’m not sick!” Rather vain to think about what others might say. Could play this song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6UAYGxiRwU

She did confirm who the song was about. http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-carly-simon-youre-so-vain-about-warren-beatty-partially-20151118-story.html

There is a meme circulating on Facebook about not needing to know what others think of you. This is very true. Most people are not thinking about you very often and when they do it might not be flattering. A coworker once shared a story about a doctor he was friends with. The Dr was born in the US to Japanese parents. They spoke Japanese in the house so he was very fluent. Having went to school to be a doctor, he was quite intelligent. He decided to visit Japan. Upon his return he told my coworker that he would never go back. Despite being very fluent, he had never learned to READ Japanese. He had to ask about train schedules and routes. People would treat him like an idiot. The sign is right there, can’t you read? they would say.

Sometimes you’re better off not knowing what people think of you.

Wild

What do you lose when you stand up? Your lap.
Making laps would be sitting then.

I saw a remake of the Blob on Crackle earlier. I prefer the old version. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094761/

And I like this song, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK5jyVCdXwc

had to clear up stuff from the title.

B.W.B. Babes Without Borders

I’m pretty much an equal opportunity ogler. There are people that are easy on the eyes in most countries. I certainly enjoy looking at them. A Miss Universe contest featuring only humans does seem a bit egocentric for the species though. It could be xenophobia I suppose. On Gilligan’s Island Gilligan managed to avoid trouble by picking Gladys. She was the only native.

There might be other natives in the universe. Would they be babes? What characteristics define a “Babe”? Well the word babe is closely related to the word baby. There is a survival benefit for babies to be cute. How many would be conceived or born if a mother’s reaction were “That ugly thing came out of me! It Hurt!!”

Babies like milk glands, mammalian ones anyway. Their fathers often like milk glands too. Sometimes politicians like milk glands. They even kiss babies sometimes. Some aren’t sure what they should kiss. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilbur_Mills Or who they should kiss https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Sanford

It should be noted that if you tell your family and security detail that you will be gone hiking, you might want to pick some other time than nude hiking week. http://www.hikingnaked.com/index.php?topic=103.0;prev_next=next

Politicians aren’t always known for good decisions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK8Iowe83-A
The blond behind Dean is pretty cute. The hearings interrupted my cartoons so yes I did watch the hearings despite being rather young. I started following politics after that. I have no idea if the blond aged well. Physical beauty is transient. Elizabeth Sladen was very pretty, but she’s been dead about 5 years so her appearance has suffered I’m sure. I’ll lose a lot of weight after I die, especially if my wife has me cremated. Celluloid lasts longer than people. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0805207/?ref_=nv_sr_1 Recycling through the carbon cycle is independent of national borders but largely limited by planetary borders unless you are considering time scales large enough to say that we are all just “Star Stuff” to quote Carl Sagan.

So what makes a babe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

and that might trigger a Christmas wish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUZqfByAOUs

I have some different ideas. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj-UqKjOwwo

Wild