Tag Archives: word play

Doing Laps, Vanity and The Blob

Went to the doctor yesterday. I’m still alive.

The Irish Rovers used to always end the show with one of two sayings. “May you be be half an hour in Heaven before the devil knows you’re dead.” And “May you live as long as you want to and may you want to as long as you live.”

The doctor gave me the usual talk about losing weight, but he did pick up on something without me saying it directly. He told me that my weight would significantly shorten my life. Then he said that doesn’t mean I’ll die a quick death from a heart attack. He told me that when his elderly patients say they’re ready to go he reminds them they could have debilitating incidents that don’t kill them, like strokes. If dying doesn’t scare me he will tell me about other possibilities. I have been exercising more. My A1C has been below 6 for 2 years now. I never did have to take diabetic meds. I can stop doing the test strips now though. How would the obituary read? Last words were, “I said I’m not sick!” Rather vain to think about what others might say. Could play this song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6UAYGxiRwU

She did confirm who the song was about. http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-carly-simon-youre-so-vain-about-warren-beatty-partially-20151118-story.html

There is a meme circulating on Facebook about not needing to know what others think of you. This is very true. Most people are not thinking about you very often and when they do it might not be flattering. A coworker once shared a story about a doctor he was friends with. The Dr was born in the US to Japanese parents. They spoke Japanese in the house so he was very fluent. Having went to school to be a doctor, he was quite intelligent. He decided to visit Japan. Upon his return he told my coworker that he would never go back. Despite being very fluent, he had never learned to READ Japanese. He had to ask about train schedules and routes. People would treat him like an idiot. The sign is right there, can’t you read? they would say.

Sometimes you’re better off not knowing what people think of you.


What do you lose when you stand up? Your lap.
Making laps would be sitting then.

I saw a remake of the Blob on Crackle earlier. I prefer the old version. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094761/

And I like this song, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK5jyVCdXwc

had to clear up stuff from the title.

And The High Horse Climbs the Soapbox Again.

Does equine hygiene suffer during marijuana consumption?




Now, on to politics. I admit my liberal bias. Can we afford to pay for college for those that can handle the academics? Can we afford to pay for high school? Can we afford to pay for any school? How much school is necessary. That is the question. Post secondary school shouldn’t cost orders of magnitude more than secondary school. I completed a BA in 1984. I paid off my debt by 1990. I couldn’t do that now. I don’t have a good answer as to why it costs so much more now. Perhaps grade inflation has caused tuition inflation. I think society benefits from a well educated populace. If that takes longer now, then it should be available. Compulsory education laws have been around for a long time BECAUSE society benefits. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_education

Minimum wage laws, should there be a minimum wage and what should it be? That depends. It depends on what your goal is. It ties into a bunch of different questions. Are child labor laws bad? If you own a small business you might want you kid to help out at a young age and begin learning the family business. That is not always a bad thing. Hiring 10 year old kids to work in mines or in factory machines because they’re small is not considered a good idea by most. Ironically, the first wage laws were not minimum wages but maximum wages. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minimum_wage https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_labor_laws_in_the_United_States

A modern solution to maximum wages would be taxes. Or it would have been a solution before taxes became a dirty word. The minimum wage laws kind of went hand in hand with child labor laws and compulsory education. Workplace safety came in about that time too. Upton Sinclair wrote “The Jungle” in the hopes of promoting socialism. Instead it helped push along the creation of the FDA. With no regulations neither food nor drugs were particularly safe. http://www.gmptrainingsystems.com/files/u1/pdf/TR_and_Pure_Food.pdf

Jerome K. Jerome wrote around the turn of the century. At times he was hilarious. Other times he was dead somber, kind of depressing. Maybe I’ll be funny next time. A lot of the observations JKJ makes are not dated and fit well today too. People haven’t changed. I think James Thurber must have been influenced by him. The style is similar.



Good Gnus, Bad Gnus, Oh Bull!

Does a Lapp dance bring Rain Dear?

The Mount ain’t lying about them cougars. They is lookin’ for a Postal Boy Toy called E-male. They found ‘im in the Bull-E Pull-Pit. It was a virtual man-hole.


Wild The Beest

Endangered? Establishment RINOS are as Endangered as Jumbo Shrimp

In “On Liberty” John Stuart Mill wrote that when differing ideas are discussed both sides should be defended by true believers.

The argument being that a person defending a position that they don’t agree with won’t defend that position well. Certainly sounds reasonable to me. Reasonableness has very little to do with today’s politics. But some have found a way to claim that they are following that advice while still ensuring that the correct view seems the most logical. You get an intelligent articulate genius to defend the side you agree with and an inarticulate raging moron to defend the incorrect view. People that start from different places reach different conclusions.

Philosophy, intellectualism, they tend to be viewed negatively. Being called an egghead isn’t necessarily an insult, but the “Average Joe” views eggheads as out of touch with the real world. No, Average Joe doesn’t realize that he too is an egghead in that everybody has a philosophy. Philosophy is how you look at the world. For example, if you find yourself on Gilligan’s Island do you: try to build a raft or light signal fires? Or do you try to make life on the island as comfortable as you can? THOSE ARE OPPOSING PHILOSOPHIES!

Colonize or seek rescue are different goals. Is one evil and they other good? Can you be friends across that chasm? Either or both of those strategies could fail. Failure is an option. But do you TRY to make the “Wrong” strategy fail? The polarization of politics is making the other side fail. Everybody wants to have a good life. What a good life is and how to attain it are debatable.

I am a liberal Democrat. RINO means Republican In Name Only. Establishment Republican means a Republican that is more in agreement established traditional Republican views as opposed to conservative views. I think. Which is exactly why JSM said you need true believers to defend a view. The Republican Party Platform prior to 1960 is pretty much opposite of the views of conservatives. I would consider the older views as “Real” Republicans and the newer views as RINO. The supporters of the newer positions should rename their party as the “Conservative” party or the “TEA” party and leave the establishment Republicans to claim the name. In my opinion establishment RINO is an oxymoron just like Jumbo Shrimp. Since I have no stake, it’s just an opinion.


Paraphilia, Feel Ya Pair

As word play I realize that’s reaching. Inappropriate reaching is a paraphilia. I’m sure of it.

I’m a guy. Guy’s think about sex almost constantly. Today a coworker walked by and I thought, her tits didn’t used to be that big. I’ve known her 27 years. We’ve never worked the same shift, and I don’t know her real well. Like I said, I’m a guy. I’m going to notice the bounce. So then I wonder, are they real? In addition to being horny and aged, I can be philosophical. What IS real? Is a dildo or vibrator real? What about a cockring? Lingerie? Jewelry? If your nipples are pierced does that make them non-real? I once heard a psychiatrist on a telecourse that there were only so many orifices and protuberances on the body and nothing was as kinky as it’s practitioners thought. That’s not true anymore. People get body modification surgery and create new ones.

So what is really real. Probably whatever floats your boat. Adornment is intended to make you feel sexy. If you feel sexy others will probably find you sexy as well. If they don’t that’s their problem. If the adornment needs to be extreme, well, you might have issues. Some issues are collectables. The lady in question had breast cancer a number of years ago so maybe maybe she had some augmentation to feel better. That’s her business. If so, I hope it worked for her. I’ll appreciate the bounce for the same reason climbers go up Everest, because it’s there.

I could stop here. But wouldn’t it be fun to keep going?


Quite the list there. Wow. All the bases are covered right?



Okay okay, maybe not.

I almost titled this “Money and Sex” I would have went here first.

Sometimes I can’t help but get pervy.

What a way to end

After 50 Sub Sandwiches What Color is Your Mustard?

Do you want the meat on the top, bottom, or middle?

Do you want Ham, Chicken, Turkey, or beefcake?

Horsemeat has to be reined in to prevent unbridled passion, but a little ass is okay.

Dodos are extinct but there might be some in the metaphorical/political pantry.

In the event of choking remember the Heine Lick maneuver.

Eat At Joe’s

Joe’s Garage that is.


Pet Peeve, Pernicious Political Posts Pertaining to Pecuniary Policies

And so it begins. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGWaP7Q5vCI

Kills Bugs
That is how one of my high school English teachers described haiku. I learned a lot from him.

There is Neanderthal DNA in modern humans. There must’ve been some interbreeding. Was it consensual? I have some doubts about how attractive the two groups would have found one another. Even in the absence of alcohol extreme horniness will make people less choosey. There is no accounting for taste either. But the interbreeding could certainly have been the result of a raid. It really bothers people when you raid their settlement. I’m confident they would want to kill what bugs them.

Neanderthals are all dead.

That song was never intended to be released. It was a studio piece to set recording levels. It’s about as basic as a song can get. But it was popular.

I don’t know if Neanderthals paid taxes. The oldest writings were basically tax records.

It’s too late to amend them.

Did they get their money’s worth?


As soon as money was invented so was the concept of scamming. You can hoard money. You can hoard non-perishable items. You can hoard perishables for a while. As soon as you do, someone will try to take them.

Somethings just don’t change. And therein lies philosophy, and concepts of government, ownership, theft, punishment, deterrence, justice, and retribution. And there is the battle between emotions, logic, and your objective. A lot of people really don’t like devoting much time to analyzing their feelings. The gut can be quite convincing even when it is wrong. If you own a store and you lose $100 a week to shoplifters it doesn’t make sense to spend $100 a day for security. The gut burns with anger at the situation. That’s understandable. Understanding doesn’t alter the rules of mathematics. A person can’t control everything that happens to them. They can try to control how they react to it. The only reason you need a key for your car is because someone might steal it if you didn’t. Someone pulls up to a convenience store and leaves the car running because they’re only going to be there a minute. Someone else steals their car. Do you blame them for leaving it running or do you blame the thief for taking it?

You catch the thief. What is your goal? Do you try to make them feel bad for what they did? Do you try to make them unable to do it again? Do you make them pay {monetarily} for the inconvenience and damage they did? Manipulating the emotions of the thief, making them regret their actions, is a task that depends more on them than on what you do. Forcing an emotional state is not easy. You can inflect pain and suffering commensurate to the damage they did, but that might only trigger feelings of being a victim on their part. They blame the one punishing them. They don’t blame themselves for their circumstance. It’s much more productive to set a goal based on your own actions, not on the emotional state of others.

How much do you care what they think? You do care. That is part of the social contract. It’s not necessary that they like you. It is necessary for them to follow the rules whether it’s because they don’t want to hurt others or because they are afraid of the punishment. Actions occur because of thoughts. You are concerned about their actions therefore you are concerned about their thoughts.

How easy is it to get mad at those that don’t seem to live by the rules. Do you want to punish the welfare cheats that use their benefits to get drugs? Do the healthy people parking in fire lanes or handicap spaces irritate you? Do you dislike the idea of prisoners getting free food and medical not too mention cable TV? On the other side of the spectrum, does it bother you how much CEOs make? Does it piss you off when you hear about off shore banking to avoid taxes? Do you feel like there’s a world wide group of multinational corporations that are basically a one world government?

How many human ills lead back to envy and greed{especially if that greed includes protecting ones possessions}? When you die, how much of it do you take with you? At what point do you admit your own mistakes? Would you consider spending $100 a day to prevent $100 a week in thefts a mistake? If you lose a buck in a vending machine are you justified in taking all the ketchup packets to make up for it? I would call that tit for tat. Actually I just like thinking about tits with tattoos. I might be in my 50’s but I can still be juvenile.


Where The Buff And Low Roam

Yesterday was pi day. e day would have been in Feb. or will be Feb 7 18. It’s called Euler’s number. It’s the squeaky irrational number that the oiler finds {his name is pronounced oiler}. It’s the music of tree stumps, the base of natural log rhythms. Consider the number of wood instruments, it’s not just xylophones. It’s not just strings. There are woodwinds. Oboe there are woodwinds. The wind blows through the trees turning a hoedown into a didgeridoo. Got that? Trees got wood, the wind blows and did ya really do a ho down? I guess that’s where the buff and low check out the Jim, in Rome. But hey, it is an Italicized small e.

Euler is real. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E_%28mathematical_constant%29

If you’re going to the Jim and want to get buff and low, don’t try to skate.

Roger That!

Can You Spell That?

Is there a bug in the program? Is that entomology or etiology?

Etiology sounds an awful lot like ideology. The two are different although each can be applied to the other. The etiology of ideology would consider ideology as originating from ideals and the study of ideals. Ideals could be thought of as ideas formulated on mass transit, ideas thought while on the Ell. Ell being an elevated commuter train.

The ideology of etiology would be a value judgement. For instance, “Those Idiots!” would be studying idiotology. This is a term used to describe people with different views. The etiology of idiotology is determined by ideology.

Spelling is important. Aaron and Tori are important to some. Some others might wonder about the etiology of spelling. Thou shalt not conjure. The term spelling has it’s origins in witchcraft and that is why you cast spells. What about spelling bees then? It’s all about fertility rites. You have spelling bees to encourage pollination. Pollination is done by bees and insects. The study of insects and bugs is Entomology.

Is that all clear now?


Immortality, Immorality with a Spot of Tea

In a thousand years who is going to know who you were? If you’re from Iceland they might all know. They’re good at keeping track of things like that. What was going on a 1000 years ago? Not the Magna Carta, not the Battle of Hastings {almost though}, the Icelandic Sagas?, Yes! They were going on.

Who gets remembered and how? Usually the despots and tyrants get remembered more than the furniture makers, stone masons, or bureaucrats. Tales of immorality get passed on. The young are taught from lots of sources, “See, that’s why you don’t do that!” What really amazes me are those people who try to convince their kids that they were angels. If you tell the kid, “I never did that. I was a good kid.” do you really think that will be more convincing than “Boy I really fucked up when I did that.”

The age of innocence was not a time for society. It was and is a time when the individual doesn’t know any better. Personality types really haven’t changed in a very long time. I really hated the show “Welcome Back Kotter”, but the theme song had a line, “Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they’re turned around.

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/welcomebackkotterlyrics.html

Okay, that was weird. I guess even referencing it can be annoying. I’ll let it be annoying.

Perspective changes things. Art often reflects life.

Pay attention to those lyrics! Cigarette trees! Bums don’t need money! Cops have wooden legs! Is that their idea of role models!!!

What is this song about? Euphemisms and allegory might as well be another language in this racially sensitive and PC environment.

It wasn’t just the Depression era. Some real good lessons here too. Remember when nobody locked their doors? He mentions that. Of course he is willing to work for his rent and smoke the stogies he finds.

Thing is, young whippersnappers today don’t know how nice they have it. And they’ve lost all sense of decency. The even had hearings on it.

Well, they had one hearing. You ever wonder why slang changes? Maybe it’s to slip a few naughty references past the old fogies. Some slang doesn’t change much, and it’s meaning is usually pretty clear.

You ever had the hots for someone that’s been dead for a couple of hundred years? Kinda gross, they’d be all rotted away and mostly just bones. It’s just not very enticing to me. Time travel would be a different matter. Would you go back in time and fuck yourself? Would that be masturbation?

I’d better end this before I write something that might have a point.