Tag Archives: science

Alas Poor Yorick, I’d rather Be A Tree

The question is not IF you will die, but what will be served at the reception. Soylent Green is not recommended.

One of my cousins died about a week ago. She was the last of her generation in that branch of my extended family. My dad’s sister had two girls and a boy. Her grandkids are in their forties. Her great grandkids are in their twenties. Some of them have young children also. The young ones I really don’t know. I can see obvious family traits so I know who they came from. They’re obviously human. I doubt there is any Denisovan in the family tree, Neanderthals I’m not so sure about. Anyway, the one that died was 69 and had one daughter. I remember when that daughter first remembered that I was a family member. Her aunt and uncle were celebrating their 25th anniversary. They were my cousins also so I attended until I had to leave for work. Later, a coworker and I were working on the exterior of the building when she went in. I said “Hi” and she ignored me. My coworker asked me if I knew her. I told him it was my cousin’s kid. She was about 20 and quite attractive. When she came out I said, “I said HI!” She turned, ready to give an earful when she suddenly realized I was a relative. “Oh, you work here?” she said. I replied, “For about the last 15 years”. She has not forgotten me since. I have been mistaken for other family members since we tend to be short round and hairy.

After I’m dead I suspect I really won’t care what happens to my earthly remains. I have no martian remains.

I did not know Yorick. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yorick

According to Ginger on Gilligan’s Island, one acting lesson is to pretend to be a tree. One can be a real tree. http://www.beatree.com/

If you don’t want to be a tree, perhaps you would like to be plastic? http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/exihibition-of-human-bodies-body-worlds-come-home-to-heidelberg

Some are less enamored of plastic. Frank Zappa wrote https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy4KU0bWrbc

Denisovans did exist. I didn’t make them up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denisovan

That last vid was just because I find it hilarious and I haven’t watched it in a while.


B.W.B. Babes Without Borders

I’m pretty much an equal opportunity ogler. There are people that are easy on the eyes in most countries. I certainly enjoy looking at them. A Miss Universe contest featuring only humans does seem a bit egocentric for the species though. It could be xenophobia I suppose. On Gilligan’s Island Gilligan managed to avoid trouble by picking Gladys. She was the only native.

There might be other natives in the universe. Would they be babes? What characteristics define a “Babe”? Well the word babe is closely related to the word baby. There is a survival benefit for babies to be cute. How many would be conceived or born if a mother’s reaction were “That ugly thing came out of me! It Hurt!!”

Babies like milk glands, mammalian ones anyway. Their fathers often like milk glands too. Sometimes politicians like milk glands. They even kiss babies sometimes. Some aren’t sure what they should kiss. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilbur_Mills Or who they should kiss https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Sanford

It should be noted that if you tell your family and security detail that you will be gone hiking, you might want to pick some other time than nude hiking week. http://www.hikingnaked.com/index.php?topic=103.0;prev_next=next

Politicians aren’t always known for good decisions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK8Iowe83-A
The blond behind Dean is pretty cute. The hearings interrupted my cartoons so yes I did watch the hearings despite being rather young. I started following politics after that. I have no idea if the blond aged well. Physical beauty is transient. Elizabeth Sladen was very pretty, but she’s been dead about 5 years so her appearance has suffered I’m sure. I’ll lose a lot of weight after I die, especially if my wife has me cremated. Celluloid lasts longer than people. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0805207/?ref_=nv_sr_1 Recycling through the carbon cycle is independent of national borders but largely limited by planetary borders unless you are considering time scales large enough to say that we are all just “Star Stuff” to quote Carl Sagan.

So what makes a babe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

and that might trigger a Christmas wish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUZqfByAOUs

I have some different ideas. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj-UqKjOwwo


NUKE ‘EM ALL!!! Just Nuke Them All.

I bought a new microwave before work today. I must say that my old one wasn’t completely dead. It was having issues though. After each use it would shut itself off. And lose it’s settings and not restart until it had cooled off. Even so, I really can’t complain about that unit. I bought it 8-8-88. I remember the date quite clearly. There were stories about how it was supposed to be a really really lucky day. It was for me. I bought a microwave, a refrigerator, my first CD player, and my first color TV that same day. I got a thank you note from the store manager. The CD player and the refrigerator are still working. The TV crapped out after 2 weeks and I had to take it back. At least I didn’t go back to living in a B&W world.

It was also the anniversary of the Chernobyl meltdown. I was in the Army back then. 3 Mile Island, Chernobyl, and Fukushima are the three nuke accidents you hear about. I’m sure there have been others. If nothing else I’m sure nuclear ships or subs have sank. There were 2 H-bombs lost in the ocean off Spain too. And then there was that Polonium 210 that ended up in that guy’s tea. That might not count as an accident though.

The number 88 is used by white supremacist groups. The eighth letter is H so 88 is supposed to indicate Heil Hitler. Leave it to them to ruin a good year. There was a rally in Georgia recently.


I don’t know about the source, but I like the headline.


It’s a Good Day To Die

That’s a quote from Dustin Hoffman in “Little Big Man”. But I like it. I like it a lot and it should be a Native American quote.

First of all, there is nobody from 150 or more years ago alive. They’re all dead Dave. What does a life matter if you’re just going to end up dead in the end anyway?

VERY Very good question, I don’t have an answer. All I can really offer is the generalization that sooner or later we all die. So, what really matters?

That IS a fair question. I call myself a Liberal. That’s what I call myself. Other people don’t necessarily agree. Basically, I’m pro death. Death penalty, well they will never be able to do it again and eventually they would have died anyway. Abortion, die now or later. Right to die, maybe I should blow your brains out if you want to stop me from blowing mine out. The one thing we have in common EVEN MORE THAN TAXES is death. I had an uncle that spent 10 years in a bed. I’d rather have a bullet. He was a good Catholic though. He couldn’t do that.

Who will remember me. Who have I had some impact on. More importantly, who have I had a net positive influence on.

Who have I had a negative impact on? Are there any assholes that I have truly succeeded in annoying?

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. I am not wishing to die. I am wishing that the quote was a real native American quote.

Donald Trump accuses Megan Kelly of menstruating.

Blood WILL be shed. I love being a liberal.


Two Score Years Ago I Was Too Sore To Soar Too.

Okay, maybe not quite forty years ago. Big Science came out in 82. But wouldn’t you be sore?

You would expect me to keep a record of the time? Going down on the Captain might lead to other things.

Well I said they were too sore. Too means excessive. Excessive oral sex leads to sensitivity and Beaver Breath.

Too can also mean also. Too!

And two can mean 2. The number two that is. I’m not talking about scat here. Herr stranger I don’t want to hear about scat. What about the score? What, beaver breath isn’t good enough you want to score too? Or were you talking about the musical score? Laurie had an interesting technique on another song from that album.

It’s interesting for me to watch this video now. I bought the vinyl on the recommendation of a friend not long after it came out. I bought the CD after I bought a CD player in 88. I saw this video for the first time just recently. I didn’t realize she signed on it until then. Learn something new all the time. But you would think Superman would have a cape? Where’s the cape?

Okay, this probably does go back forty years, but I just saw it recently. Superheros don’t {necessarily} wear dresses.


I saw a personalized license plate at the gas station one day. It said PYTHAGORAS. I said to the guy getting gas, “You must be either a musician or a mathematician.” He replied, “So must you.” He was a musician. I told him to bake sugar cookies into regular polygons and have the kids use frosting to stack them into dodecahedra. You start with stars and chop off Isosceles triangles. That will leave you with pentagons and unhappy children. They might cheer up when they see how much frosting/chocolate is needed to stick the sides together. Then you tell them that Euclid’s Elements is actually a dessert cookbook.

You do realize that you can’t believe EVERYTHING you read on-line.


Albedo Libido

Spring is in the air. We’ve had several nice days here. Snow is melting. It won’t be long and things will be getting green. Life renews.

It’s not exactly a Phoenix though. The bird doesn’t rise from the flames out of a snowbank. Nature isn’t giving us the bird. It’s not Peter Cottontail either. But the hare is a symbol of renewal associated with the end of winter. Splitting hares yields cottontails {AKA Bunnies}, Jack Rabbits, and European hares. There are more varieties I’m sure. The European hare is tied into the Easter Rabbit myth. Eggs are a sign of renewal. Hare populations appear to explode in spring. They breed like rabbits you know. And therein lies the libido. You have a bunch of girls dance around a Maypole. Probably supposed to be virgins, but they really seem enamored of that pole. Customs and rituals evolve over time. You still hear about egg hunts. Eggs that a bunny has. Playboy Bunnies almost seem quaint nowadays. I’m sure they still inspire Jack rabbits. Gotta find those eggs!

They added captions. I hadn’t seen those on the version I watched earlier.

Al be dough. He must be made of money because he shines like gold. Actually more like ice, clouds, and water. The ground tends to be less shiny. So many aspects of nature are a balancing act. Are they a stable equilibrium or an unstable equilibrium? In dieting plateaus are those equilibrium points. They can be a pain to get by. In terms of the planet’s albedo, let’s hope we don’t go past a plateau. You ever notice that weather systems tend to follow roads and rivers? You think that might have something to do with temperature differences on the surface? Albedo is the reflectivity of the planet. There are lots of variables. All else being equal is a phrase we can’t use when we talk about environmental systems. It’s like doing physics problems with massless strings and frictionless pulleys. It is useful for teaching the concepts, but engineering problems have to actually consider those things.


Can You Spell That?

Is there a bug in the program? Is that entomology or etiology?

Etiology sounds an awful lot like ideology. The two are different although each can be applied to the other. The etiology of ideology would consider ideology as originating from ideals and the study of ideals. Ideals could be thought of as ideas formulated on mass transit, ideas thought while on the Ell. Ell being an elevated commuter train.

The ideology of etiology would be a value judgement. For instance, “Those Idiots!” would be studying idiotology. This is a term used to describe people with different views. The etiology of idiotology is determined by ideology.

Spelling is important. Aaron and Tori are important to some. Some others might wonder about the etiology of spelling. Thou shalt not conjure. The term spelling has it’s origins in witchcraft and that is why you cast spells. What about spelling bees then? It’s all about fertility rites. You have spelling bees to encourage pollination. Pollination is done by bees and insects. The study of insects and bugs is Entomology.

Is that all clear now?


Contempt Of Court And Other Dating Hazards

“Froggy went a courtin’ He did ride uh-huh.” Woo Coo, I mean ribbet. Language changes in the strangest ways. Sometimes it’s even weirder when it stays the same.

If you don’t like tennis is it contempt of court?

If you date someone for rational reasons does that mean you’re using carbon-14 to find out how old they are?

Why is Sue on the courts so much?

If you take a deposition from someone do you depose them? This one was actually in the local paper. It really bugged me when the reporter said they deposed some witness. Really? When did he take power?

When chemists form a labor organization and reduce free electrons how do they pronounce Unionize?

How do Bill collectors get money from people not named William?

My day is off to a roaring start, so sayeth Leo


Rocket Science? No, Cantilevered Beam, But it is Hard

Things are not always what they seem. This is particularly true of cantilevered beams.

A few years ago I saw a documentary titled cleavage on A&E. Later in the same year I saw that documentary on two other channels. This was rather disturbing.

Mind you, I like looking at cleavage. What was difficult to understand is how they could take a subject I like so well and make it boring. It was like 2 hrs of agony. Yes I watched all three times, and it was just as boring each time.

Yeah it did have some good moments. It was not hard to tell that it was made from a female point of view and was largely “Girl Talk.” They did show some cleavage, but I suspect that if a man or a lesbian had made the film it would’ve had MORE cleavage. Size was one of the topics, and both men and women notice large breasts and look even if it is surreptitiously.

Personally, I like pretty much all breasts. Who they’re attached to is of greater importance. The brain is the most important sex organ. I don’t know how some people manage to get by with it non-functioning. And that brings me back to the difficult subject of rocket science. In the title I said it was hard. I didn’t say it was difficult. It is. Also difficult is http://books.google.com/books/about/A_stress_analysis_of_a_strapless_evening.html?id=ze1ZAAAAMAAJ

Dr D has had radio programs devoted to the subject. Here’s a cute song.