Category Archives: Gross

ewww

Blood is Thicker than Water, or even Pee for that Matter

I had a nightmare last week. I hesitate to call it a night mare as opposed to a night stallion or night swayback nag, or a night gelding.

And when I have a nightmare it isn’t so much about incredible fear. That is actually part of the quandary. What did that dream mean? Here are some examples I have wrote about in the past.
https://wildoats1962.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/turnip-dreams-and-other-things/
https://wildoats1962.wordpress.com/2013/04/20/not-another-turnip-dream/

The dream I had last week had nothing to do with turnips.

Just thought I should tell you that. In the dream a friend of mine was traveling by car through my area and needed a place to rest overnight. I told him that I could put him up for the night no problem. In the dream I was living in an extremely large, very old, ancestral home with lots of extra rooms. This was odd since no one in my family has ever owned a house like that. Anyway, after my friend shows up a bunch of relatives also show up wanting to stay. Then more relatives show up, and more still. I run out of usable rooms. There are more rooms but they are full of junk. Everybody pitches in and it’s rather late but they all get cleared. We did discover that a rock slide had penetrated one wall. Strange that we didn’t even notice that earlier. As I was getting ready to go to sleep I decided to pee first. The bathroom was large with several chairs and people talking in there. Somehow that seemed normal. I started peeing and it was coming out blood. I don’t mean it was urine mixed with pee. It was all blood. While the relatives were commenting on that and asking if I was okay it dawned on me that they were all relatives that had died long ago. THAT bugged me. I woke up soon after that when I had to pee in real life. It was with great trepidation that I went to the bathroom. In 2012 I had some surgery that caused me to pee blood for about a month. When it is mostly blood coming out it feels weird because BLOOD IS THICKER then pee. Semen is also thicker then pee but feels much better coming out than blood does.

I could say TMI, but that also stands for Three Mile Island and I didn’t have a meltdown because of the dream.

Wild

Alas Poor Yorick, I’d rather Be A Tree

The question is not IF you will die, but what will be served at the reception. Soylent Green is not recommended.

One of my cousins died about a week ago. She was the last of her generation in that branch of my extended family. My dad’s sister had two girls and a boy. Her grandkids are in their forties. Her great grandkids are in their twenties. Some of them have young children also. The young ones I really don’t know. I can see obvious family traits so I know who they came from. They’re obviously human. I doubt there is any Denisovan in the family tree, Neanderthals I’m not so sure about. Anyway, the one that died was 69 and had one daughter. I remember when that daughter first remembered that I was a family member. Her aunt and uncle were celebrating their 25th anniversary. They were my cousins also so I attended until I had to leave for work. Later, a coworker and I were working on the exterior of the building when she went in. I said “Hi” and she ignored me. My coworker asked me if I knew her. I told him it was my cousin’s kid. She was about 20 and quite attractive. When she came out I said, “I said HI!” She turned, ready to give an earful when she suddenly realized I was a relative. “Oh, you work here?” she said. I replied, “For about the last 15 years”. She has not forgotten me since. I have been mistaken for other family members since we tend to be short round and hairy.

After I’m dead I suspect I really won’t care what happens to my earthly remains. I have no martian remains.

I did not know Yorick. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yorick

According to Ginger on Gilligan’s Island, one acting lesson is to pretend to be a tree. One can be a real tree. http://www.beatree.com/

If you don’t want to be a tree, perhaps you would like to be plastic? http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/exihibition-of-human-bodies-body-worlds-come-home-to-heidelberg

Some are less enamored of plastic. Frank Zappa wrote https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy4KU0bWrbc

Denisovans did exist. I didn’t make them up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denisovan

That last vid was just because I find it hilarious and I haven’t watched it in a while.

Wild

Imaginary Friends And Fantasy Lovers

Initially one might think imaginary friends are good. T.S.Eliot and R.L.Stevenson come to mind. However not all authors are immediately recognized by their initials. My favorite humorist was (or is, depending on whether you consider the subject of this sentence to be the individual, ie past tense, or if the subject is “My favorite” ergo present tense. And getting presence/presents can be tense. Just ask paranormal explorers) J.K.J.. I mean Jerome Klapka Jerome. He wrote “Three Men In A Boat.” It was hilarious, and I would never have discovered it had it not been for the arrogance of Robert Graves. I became enamored of Robert Graves after watching the Masterpiece Theatre version of I, Claudius. Then I read the book. It was even better. I became convinced that it was far better to see dramatic performances before reading the book. The book is ALWAYS better. Therefor seeing the performance after the book is a letdown. Reading the book after viewing is a wonderful expansion. I started reading whatever I could find by Robert Graves. Up until I read The Antigua Stamp. I viewed it as a battle between two evils. One was an exceptionally clever evil person, the other was an idiot. My sympathies went to the idiot. “Bless his heart, he just didn’t know any better.” Well, yes he did. He just wasn’t very good at being evil. Mr Graves mocked JKJ in that story. So I read Three Men In A Boat, to say nothing of the dog. It was written in 1889.

You might ask how that all relates to imaginary friends? A great author becomes like a friend you enjoy listening to. If they are dead that means they must be imaginary. That is, unless you are one of those paranormal explorers.

Unless you go to the Dark Side, there you might only IMAGINE that they are friends. They could be plotting your downfall. Or at least your extreme embarrassment. That could be called the “Drama Club”.

Fantasy Lovers. That is very subjective. As in, what is the subject of that sentence. Is that about people who love fantasies, or is it about people who have fantasies about lovers?

Go ahead and regale me with tales of tail.

wild

My but There Are A Lot Of Nudists on Earth

The percentages go WAY down if you limit consideration to just humans.

The only other species I can think of would be hermit-crabs. They don’t grow their own shell but use the shells of others.

When one considers the drive to mate it seems really odd that humans would consider covering up with adornments as sexy.

Some animals use materials to help cool off or to prevent parasites from digging in, but can you imagine a hippo or elephant asking, “Does this mud make me look fat?”

Yes, humans are strange. bukkakeru is a method of cooking noodles by splashing water on them. Similar words have fewer carbs than pasta. In watching Japanese films with subtitles I have noticed that I would tend to mispronounce names. “X Games”, “Cold Fish”, “Grudge”, and some others come to mind. I had been pronouncing bukkake as boo-cocky. In some films I had heard it pronounced buck-ka-kay. Wiki actually lists both pronunciations, but the audio clip uses something closer to the former. It depends on how you stress and separate the syllables. How stressful can it be to make noodles?

I’m not going to link to anything here. You have to find it for yourself.

Wild

It’s a Good Day To Die

That’s a quote from Dustin Hoffman in “Little Big Man”. But I like it. I like it a lot and it should be a Native American quote.

First of all, there is nobody from 150 or more years ago alive. They’re all dead Dave. What does a life matter if you’re just going to end up dead in the end anyway?

VERY Very good question, I don’t have an answer. All I can really offer is the generalization that sooner or later we all die. So, what really matters?

That IS a fair question. I call myself a Liberal. That’s what I call myself. Other people don’t necessarily agree. Basically, I’m pro death. Death penalty, well they will never be able to do it again and eventually they would have died anyway. Abortion, die now or later. Right to die, maybe I should blow your brains out if you want to stop me from blowing mine out. The one thing we have in common EVEN MORE THAN TAXES is death. I had an uncle that spent 10 years in a bed. I’d rather have a bullet. He was a good Catholic though. He couldn’t do that.

Who will remember me. Who have I had some impact on. More importantly, who have I had a net positive influence on.

Who have I had a negative impact on? Are there any assholes that I have truly succeeded in annoying?

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. I am not wishing to die. I am wishing that the quote was a real native American quote.

Donald Trump accuses Megan Kelly of menstruating.

Blood WILL be shed. I love being a liberal.

Wild

Paraphilia, Feel Ya Pair

As word play I realize that’s reaching. Inappropriate reaching is a paraphilia. I’m sure of it.

I’m a guy. Guy’s think about sex almost constantly. Today a coworker walked by and I thought, her tits didn’t used to be that big. I’ve known her 27 years. We’ve never worked the same shift, and I don’t know her real well. Like I said, I’m a guy. I’m going to notice the bounce. So then I wonder, are they real? In addition to being horny and aged, I can be philosophical. What IS real? Is a dildo or vibrator real? What about a cockring? Lingerie? Jewelry? If your nipples are pierced does that make them non-real? I once heard a psychiatrist on a telecourse that there were only so many orifices and protuberances on the body and nothing was as kinky as it’s practitioners thought. That’s not true anymore. People get body modification surgery and create new ones.

So what is really real. Probably whatever floats your boat. Adornment is intended to make you feel sexy. If you feel sexy others will probably find you sexy as well. If they don’t that’s their problem. If the adornment needs to be extreme, well, you might have issues. Some issues are collectables. The lady in question had breast cancer a number of years ago so maybe maybe she had some augmentation to feel better. That’s her business. If so, I hope it worked for her. I’ll appreciate the bounce for the same reason climbers go up Everest, because it’s there.

I could stop here. But wouldn’t it be fun to keep going?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias

Quite the list there. Wow. All the bases are covered right?

Maybe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_technical_terms_for_nonparaphilic_sexual_interests

Okay okay, maybe not.

I almost titled this “Money and Sex” I would have went here first.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lovemap

Sometimes I can’t help but get pervy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perversion

What a way to end
Wild