Category Archives: Bizarre

Very Odd

Lead A Full Life, Or an Empty One, Just don’t give the Statisticians an Opportunity

Do you believe in amassing reserves for use in troubled times?

Do you believe in utilizing ALL of one’s resources to accomplish a goal?

WHO is correct?

So much of life depends on philosophy. Philosophy and art are probably the two most undervalued majors for college students.

I was a Physics major. I haven’t worked in my field in 33 years. That doesn’t mean I’m not a scientist. It means I am an AMATEUR scientist. And if you check the history books, the amateurs are the ones that did a lot of the discoveries. I suppose I could try to be an evil mad scientist, but I woke up from a nightmare about that a few minutes ago so it’s probably not a good option. I would probably have more nightmares.

As to using resources, in the past week I have spent hundreds filling my freezer due to sales. I don’t intend to ever go hungry. Some don’t worry about those things. Forget ants and grasshoppers!

Nature provides examples.

If you have to, give them the bird.

Wild

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Telephone Tits

You might ask, exactly what are — telephone tits?

I’m glad you asked. It allows me to expound on one of my favorite subjects, historical advertising trivia!

Okay, I have through a gazillion photos looking for the Bell Telephone ad that ran in the early 70’s. It was featured in a mid 70’s edition of Hustler magazine. It was cited in the book “Subliminal Seduction”. And I have been unable to locate it. It showed a woman holding one of the old wooden box phones that had an attached microphone and an earpiece on a cord. It had two bells on the front. Guess where they were on the model. RING those bells, we have a winner!

BTW, my searches also yielded this,
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fs3-ak.buzzfeed.com%2Fstatic%2F2015-01%2F14%2F15%2Ftmp%2Fwebdr10%2F937f35121dc696b11dd94654938f5359-10.png&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailydot.com%2Fvia%2Fsigns-that-craigslist-ad-is-fake%2F&docid=udHSVOZK_hly1M&tbnid=rBzkrmGuU8Z72M%3A&vet=1&w=568&h=251&bih=659&biw=1366&ved=0ahUKEwjD_8vhsa_QAhVp2oMKHbPpD1M4hAcQMwhRKE4wTg&iact=mrc&uact=8

I don’t duck the issues!

Reach out and touch someone!
Touch!
You might be surprised at their response be it a squeak or a giggle.

Wild

is your phone on vibrate?

On Point

As if.

As if I ever stay on point.

What is the point?

Get to the point!

Stay on point!

OUCH! FUCK YOU!

It is not natural to stay on point. It is ego that pushes staying on point. If not the dancer’s ego then the ego of the teacher or parents.

But isn’t ego why we push ourselves in any endeavor?

Yes

Is ego bad?

Mostly.

In grade school I was the best at math, science, spelling, and almost anything except gym.

That made me egotistical.

I’m still egotistical.

BUT NOW I KNOW I AM NOT THE BEST AT THINKING.

But I haven’t given up at thinking either. I think about a lot of things.

It is better to look down a woman’s shirt than to see her boobs clearly.
It is better to watch a cancan dance than to see the undergarments without the dancing.

An emotional connection is the best ever.

A physical connection will do for the moment. Hey, masturbation doesn’t even require that. If you can at least help someone else to get off that should be a bonus. Think! They came because of what you did! Good job!!!

Was it the best cum of their life?

See! That’s where it all falls apart!

Would life be better as an incubus/succubus?

Wild

Johnny Needs a Walker

Brandy is dating Alexander while Jim Beams.

I was going to post a video of an SNL skit with Garrett Morris as Johnny Walker, and other characters as booze related hallucinations. I couldn’t find it.

For shame.

As my breath is heavy with alcohol I will say that the point of pasta is not the sprinkling of Parmesan, but it is the savoring of the sauce. Oh what a sauce! Be it hot and garlicy or a buttery alfredo, it is such a taste sensation. It fills the mouth with pleasure.

Wild

The Immortality Elixir Will Take Forever To Test

Step one is to get rid of any toxins you might have floating around in your body.

What is it?
Is it a vitamin? NO!
Is it a mineral? No!
Is it a protein supplement?

Well, …., maybe.

Life continues because of protein. Some protein mixes with other protein and bingo! more life! Making a protein shake might give the wrist a bit of a workout, but isn’t that flavor worth it? And it’s good cardiovascular exercise too. On that you can bet a buk {sic} okaay.

How do you pacify someone like that? With a little nuki of course.

Ya gotta love those lyrics, “Nuki, Nuki, Nuki, How I love my Nuki! Sweeter than a cookie, I’ll share it if you are my friend.”

Wild

Okaaaayyy, After my head explodes I’ll make a Political Post

http://www.businessinsider.com/hannity-glenn-beck-trump-2016-10

The preview didn’t give details. Good. I’m not sure how many times my head can explode.

I find myself agreeing with Glenn—-whoops there goes my head again.

Okay, okay, Red Dwarf fans bear with me. This is like Kryten contemplating ketchup with lobster.

Mr Spork, I Call You Runcible

It’s flooding here in Iowa. My house is on high ground, but yesterday I was almost an island. It was worse in 2008. There’s been a lot of comparisons in the news. One thing about that though. That flood was in the spring/early summer. We don’t usually get floods in the fall. And 500 year floods shouldn’t be happening 8 years apart.

http://lb.511ia.org/ialb/winterdriving/routeselect.jsf?view=state&text=m&textOnly=false

In 2008 the map at the 511 website had closures all over the state.

What does that have to do with anything? Well, since runcible is a nonsense word it has everything to do with it. I thought of the title first. Finding material to write about it is a little harder. Although I did learn that I was mistaken about a bit of trivia. I saw a commercial where they mentioned the inventiveness of whoever came up with the idea of a spork. The ad made it sound like a relatively recent invention. I had heard the term “Runcible spoon” and falsely assumed it was a much older term describing a spoon fork hybrid. I thought there might have been a person named Runcible. Nope.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runcible

Several years ago there was a car ad that really touted an ignition button on the dash. The ad claimed it was a new innovation. The person designing the ad had apparently never seen a pre-WWII car with an ignition button on the dash. They didn’t run the ad for very long so they must’ve figured it out. Advertising can provide a snapshot of consumer culture. Calgon, Take me away!”

That was hilarious. Hey, it fits in with consumer culture.

Wild