Category Archives: Sexy?

Pertaining to reproduction, not necessarily to fun

Telephone Tits

You might ask, exactly what are — telephone tits?

I’m glad you asked. It allows me to expound on one of my favorite subjects, historical advertising trivia!

Okay, I have through a gazillion photos looking for the Bell Telephone ad that ran in the early 70’s. It was featured in a mid 70’s edition of Hustler magazine. It was cited in the book “Subliminal Seduction”. And I have been unable to locate it. It showed a woman holding one of the old wooden box phones that had an attached microphone and an earpiece on a cord. It had two bells on the front. Guess where they were on the model. RING those bells, we have a winner!

BTW, my searches also yielded this,
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fs3-ak.buzzfeed.com%2Fstatic%2F2015-01%2F14%2F15%2Ftmp%2Fwebdr10%2F937f35121dc696b11dd94654938f5359-10.png&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailydot.com%2Fvia%2Fsigns-that-craigslist-ad-is-fake%2F&docid=udHSVOZK_hly1M&tbnid=rBzkrmGuU8Z72M%3A&vet=1&w=568&h=251&bih=659&biw=1366&ved=0ahUKEwjD_8vhsa_QAhVp2oMKHbPpD1M4hAcQMwhRKE4wTg&iact=mrc&uact=8

I don’t duck the issues!

Reach out and touch someone!
Touch!
You might be surprised at their response be it a squeak or a giggle.

Wild

is your phone on vibrate?

On Point

As if.

As if I ever stay on point.

What is the point?

Get to the point!

Stay on point!

OUCH! FUCK YOU!

It is not natural to stay on point. It is ego that pushes staying on point. If not the dancer’s ego then the ego of the teacher or parents.

But isn’t ego why we push ourselves in any endeavor?

Yes

Is ego bad?

Mostly.

In grade school I was the best at math, science, spelling, and almost anything except gym.

That made me egotistical.

I’m still egotistical.

BUT NOW I KNOW I AM NOT THE BEST AT THINKING.

But I haven’t given up at thinking either. I think about a lot of things.

It is better to look down a woman’s shirt than to see her boobs clearly.
It is better to watch a cancan dance than to see the undergarments without the dancing.

An emotional connection is the best ever.

A physical connection will do for the moment. Hey, masturbation doesn’t even require that. If you can at least help someone else to get off that should be a bonus. Think! They came because of what you did! Good job!!!

Was it the best cum of their life?

See! That’s where it all falls apart!

Would life be better as an incubus/succubus?

Wild

The Immortality Elixir Will Take Forever To Test

Step one is to get rid of any toxins you might have floating around in your body.

What is it?
Is it a vitamin? NO!
Is it a mineral? No!
Is it a protein supplement?

Well, …., maybe.

Life continues because of protein. Some protein mixes with other protein and bingo! more life! Making a protein shake might give the wrist a bit of a workout, but isn’t that flavor worth it? And it’s good cardiovascular exercise too. On that you can bet a buk {sic} okaay.

How do you pacify someone like that? With a little nuki of course.

Ya gotta love those lyrics, “Nuki, Nuki, Nuki, How I love my Nuki! Sweeter than a cookie, I’ll share it if you are my friend.”

Wild

Smellovision, Is That An App?

Ah, the memories. What memories? Scent memories. Is that recall or recognition? It is beautiful. Well, sometimes anyway.

Recall, dredging up the past. Recognition, finding triggers.

Actually scent memories tend to be the latter in my opinion. They can be vivid.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brain-babble/201501/smells-ring-bells-how-smell-triggers-memories-and-emotions

Good or bad you might recognize that smell. Interestingly, to me at least, I recall a particular day. The woman I was dating broke up with me. Later, on my way to work I noticed how her perfume, Lady Stetson, lingered in my vehicle. On my way home I bought and used a bottle of “New Car Scent”. A few months later I bought a bottle of Lady Stetson for my new girlfriend because it still triggered more positive feelings than negative. I didn’t tell her WHY I liked that scent.

Why is such an interesting question. From a toddler it can be so irritating, and after a while you just have to say just because. But you should retain that inquisitiveness privately. Most people have no idea why they do or feel what they do. Introspection is good. Why is good. It prevents or at least limits the frequency and intensity of people yanking your chain just to watch you react. That can be very good in the age of social networking. Spammers, like miners, share miners, love to yank chains with misleading headlines. Usually they use false equivalencies, and ask for a like or a share. Yea, I’m going to say I hate puppies and sunsets by not sharing. Ask yourself before others ask you. Know why you feel that way.

Why DO you feel that way? Could it be pheromones? About 30 years ago I read a study about androgen. Does it attract women? I couldn’t find a reference to that study, but their answer was that it didn’t attract heterosexual women. It repelled heterosexual males. I find that intriguing. Tangentially, there was a Peanuts cartoon where Schroeder is talking to Lucy. Lucy says that she can picture them married. Schroeder replies that he wouldn’t marry her unless she were the last woman on Earth. Lucy asks, “Did you say if or unless?” Schroeder states, “I admit I said unless.” In the last panel Lucy shouts, “Hope!” I think that conversation reflects a more male pattern of thought. Drive away all competition and they will have to select me.

I could be wrong.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15501487

I could’ve searched for the SNL skit, “The Last Straight Man In San Francisco”. It had a similar theme. But I didn’t.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2015/01/06/farmer-destroys-nazi-cows/21325527/

The Nazis liked selective breeding. I doubt that there was much love involved though. They did like sausages. German sausages and Polish sausages are liked but I doubt they are loved. Metaphorically, I’m sure they are loved.

Well, this post meandered in a direction I didn’t plan, but that’s okay. I noticed something just now that I had missed for a very long time. In the following video when they “Heil!” they flip the bird. Way to go Spike and company!

Wild

The Beautiful People

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is also in the attitude of the beholden.

When the beholden is confident of the opinion of the beholder the magic can happen. The sexiest people are the people who are being sexy to you because you like it. Does anything else really matter? I once heard a psychiatrist on a Columbia University Seminars telecourse say, “There are only a finite number of protuberances and orifices on the body. Nothing is as kinky or original as it’s practitioners think.”

That careless remark has become my mantra. I don’t follow it in practice, but I’m willing to think about it.

Thoughts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgFJJ77w2nA

Wait a minute, or about 8 actually. What happened there? That didn’t seem sexy.

WELL ARE YOU A SALMON? It might have been very sexy. That’s the whole point. With external fertilization who can say why they were getting off?

Okay Okay, it’s rather creepy to anesthetize the participants, sounds like what Bill Cosby is accused of, but he isn’t a salmon either.

Sometimes you get fish orgies where lots of females ovulate all over the place and then the guys do a bukakke scene over the eggs. And everybody is swimming in a sea of semen.

Well, watered down semen.

Just think, if all reproductive decisions were based on cognition, ALL species dependent on SEX would die out. Sexual desire over-rules all else and says, “But I want to.” If everybody waited until they: could afford/were ready to raise a family we would die out fast.

DON’T BLAME ME!!

That is also my mantra. I’ve been married 21 years as of last Friday. I repeat it often.

Wild

Of Mice And Men

The best laid plans sounds like something you might find on a sex site.

Mice – pestilence carrying rodents, not a good choice for dating.

Men – attributes vary wildly, might be a good date depending on your preferences of the moment. A man-date is something politicians often talk about. They usually want one. Strangely they often want one even if they are male and anti-LGBT rights.

Well let’s look at the mice again.

It could be a touch mouse or a rollerball, perhaps even optical.

That doesn’t sound like much of a date?

Well if you take the mouse to a sex site…..

You won’t find Denisovans but perhaps Neanderthals would be good enough

Not a lot of words to this song but what would you expect from Neanderthals.

Vanilla?, No, Chocolate? Maybe Neapolitan? Chunky Monkey?

I Scream, You Scream, We all Scream for Ice Cream.

*****DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER******

Adult themes ahead so there might be adolescent language!

I was discussing the purity test on another site. She asked me, “Am I Vanilla?”

Things that make you go hmm. Vanilla ice cream is an excellent go with. Chocolate ice cream has those flavonoids that are so delightful. Neapolitan is the dairy version of a threesome.

Chunky Monkey. Wow, where to go with that. The mind reels. I once saw a lesbian clip titled “Bumping Monkeys”. That was one clip using that unusual euphemism. Try saying, or typing, unusual euphemism three times.

I have heard the word monkey used as a racial slur. I don’t use it as a racial slur. Slurring your racial comments makes one sound like a drunk bigot.

Chunky monkey ice cream is banana ice cream with walnuts. A *Looong banana*, and it has nuts at one end. The cream is deliciously sweet. It *might* have a cherry on top, N’est pas.

I saw a documentary about ice cream and sno-cones. In Hawaii there’s a place that offers to put chili beans at the bottom of your snowcone. Morimoto did that on Iron Chef also.

Some people ask to be eaten and then get mad when you chew.

Zappa de-do-da

Wild

Yeah, I’m pretty vanilla.

Upside Down Sybian? Better Than Sex?

I’ve just finished watching a very good documentary. It was about the website Kink.com

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2017634/?ref_=nv_sr_3

On that link I would especially suggest reading the user review at the bottom of the page. The film is available on Netflix. This documentary really gives some insight into the BDSM culture. There are some very memorable scenes and lines. Riding a sybian is one thing. Riding it while suspended upside down is a new twist. The dialog really digs into the humanity of the models, producers, and staff. They are real people after all. You get a feel for who they are. The second half of my title comes from a comment one person made while describing the sub/dom relationship. The emotions are intense. The post production reassurance is all about acceptance and value as a person. They talk a lot about their rules. What is okay and what is not. Who is in control, and how far do they go. Trust. Trust is better than sex.

I like this documentary.

Imaginary Friends And Fantasy Lovers

Initially one might think imaginary friends are good. T.S.Eliot and R.L.Stevenson come to mind. However not all authors are immediately recognized by their initials. My favorite humorist was (or is, depending on whether you consider the subject of this sentence to be the individual, ie past tense, or if the subject is “My favorite” ergo present tense. And getting presence/presents can be tense. Just ask paranormal explorers) J.K.J.. I mean Jerome Klapka Jerome. He wrote “Three Men In A Boat.” It was hilarious, and I would never have discovered it had it not been for the arrogance of Robert Graves. I became enamored of Robert Graves after watching the Masterpiece Theatre version of I, Claudius. Then I read the book. It was even better. I became convinced that it was far better to see dramatic performances before reading the book. The book is ALWAYS better. Therefor seeing the performance after the book is a letdown. Reading the book after viewing is a wonderful expansion. I started reading whatever I could find by Robert Graves. Up until I read The Antigua Stamp. I viewed it as a battle between two evils. One was an exceptionally clever evil person, the other was an idiot. My sympathies went to the idiot. “Bless his heart, he just didn’t know any better.” Well, yes he did. He just wasn’t very good at being evil. Mr Graves mocked JKJ in that story. So I read Three Men In A Boat, to say nothing of the dog. It was written in 1889.

You might ask how that all relates to imaginary friends? A great author becomes like a friend you enjoy listening to. If they are dead that means they must be imaginary. That is, unless you are one of those paranormal explorers.

Unless you go to the Dark Side, there you might only IMAGINE that they are friends. They could be plotting your downfall. Or at least your extreme embarrassment. That could be called the “Drama Club”.

Fantasy Lovers. That is very subjective. As in, what is the subject of that sentence. Is that about people who love fantasies, or is it about people who have fantasies about lovers?

Go ahead and regale me with tales of tail.

wild

My but There Are A Lot Of Nudists on Earth

The percentages go WAY down if you limit consideration to just humans.

The only other species I can think of would be hermit-crabs. They don’t grow their own shell but use the shells of others.

When one considers the drive to mate it seems really odd that humans would consider covering up with adornments as sexy.

Some animals use materials to help cool off or to prevent parasites from digging in, but can you imagine a hippo or elephant asking, “Does this mud make me look fat?”

Yes, humans are strange. bukkakeru is a method of cooking noodles by splashing water on them. Similar words have fewer carbs than pasta. In watching Japanese films with subtitles I have noticed that I would tend to mispronounce names. “X Games”, “Cold Fish”, “Grudge”, and some others come to mind. I had been pronouncing bukkake as boo-cocky. In some films I had heard it pronounced buck-ka-kay. Wiki actually lists both pronunciations, but the audio clip uses something closer to the former. It depends on how you stress and separate the syllables. How stressful can it be to make noodles?

I’m not going to link to anything here. You have to find it for yourself.

Wild