Tag Archives: wordplay

Lead A Full Life, Or an Empty One, Just don’t give the Statisticians an Opportunity

Do you believe in amassing reserves for use in troubled times?

Do you believe in utilizing ALL of one’s resources to accomplish a goal?

WHO is correct?

So much of life depends on philosophy. Philosophy and art are probably the two most undervalued majors for college students.

I was a Physics major. I haven’t worked in my field in 33 years. That doesn’t mean I’m not a scientist. It means I am an AMATEUR scientist. And if you check the history books, the amateurs are the ones that did a lot of the discoveries. I suppose I could try to be an evil mad scientist, but I woke up from a nightmare about that a few minutes ago so it’s probably not a good option. I would probably have more nightmares.

As to using resources, in the past week I have spent hundreds filling my freezer due to sales. I don’t intend to ever go hungry. Some don’t worry about those things. Forget ants and grasshoppers!

Nature provides examples.

If you have to, give them the bird.

Wild

On Point

As if.

As if I ever stay on point.

What is the point?

Get to the point!

Stay on point!

OUCH! FUCK YOU!

It is not natural to stay on point. It is ego that pushes staying on point. If not the dancer’s ego then the ego of the teacher or parents.

But isn’t ego why we push ourselves in any endeavor?

Yes

Is ego bad?

Mostly.

In grade school I was the best at math, science, spelling, and almost anything except gym.

That made me egotistical.

I’m still egotistical.

BUT NOW I KNOW I AM NOT THE BEST AT THINKING.

But I haven’t given up at thinking either. I think about a lot of things.

It is better to look down a woman’s shirt than to see her boobs clearly.
It is better to watch a cancan dance than to see the undergarments without the dancing.

An emotional connection is the best ever.

A physical connection will do for the moment. Hey, masturbation doesn’t even require that. If you can at least help someone else to get off that should be a bonus. Think! They came because of what you did! Good job!!!

Was it the best cum of their life?

See! That’s where it all falls apart!

Would life be better as an incubus/succubus?

Wild

Johnny Needs a Walker

Brandy is dating Alexander while Jim Beams.

I was going to post a video of an SNL skit with Garrett Morris as Johnny Walker, and other characters as booze related hallucinations. I couldn’t find it.

For shame.

As my breath is heavy with alcohol I will say that the point of pasta is not the sprinkling of Parmesan, but it is the savoring of the sauce. Oh what a sauce! Be it hot and garlicy or a buttery alfredo, it is such a taste sensation. It fills the mouth with pleasure.

Wild

A Text Message from AD 1509

You think I’m joking?!?!

Would *I* joke about something like that?

Well of course I would. That’s not the point.

It’s actually the shaft, not the point. The point leads, the shaft follows.

Do you want to get the shaft?

Maybe I can help. I’ll tell you a story.

In English.
Once upon a time I blogged on a site that had both free and paid memberships. As the site got more popular they wanted to be paid for more and more stuff. I didn’t want to pay for it. I told them a story on my blog. Some gold members tried to e-mail me. I still did not want to pay for it. The site wouldn’t let me see what those members wrote.

They told me I had messages. They just blurred them out. Then I had an idea. I remembered a trick I had used on their blogs. {please bear with me at this point. I was too lazy to figure out how exactly to do this on this platform}. If you select a font color that is very similar to the background color the text is almost, or if they are the same- impossible to read. BUT, and that is a *very* big butt, it is easily readable if you highlight the text for copy/cut. Laziness precludes my showing you that.

I tried that with the blurred out e-mails from gold members. AHA! Clear text! Well sort of. It’s in a different language. It looks like Latin. I can’t translate Latin. Let’s see if the internet can!

No.

Well, sort of no.

It had nothing to do with the original message. It was NOT a Latin translation of that e-mail.

It was the Lorem Ipsom.

A sex/dating/meat market site used an ethics post from 1509AD to blank out text.
http://www.lipsum.com/

Wild with a sticky post for messages

The Immortality Elixir Will Take Forever To Test

Step one is to get rid of any toxins you might have floating around in your body.

What is it?
Is it a vitamin? NO!
Is it a mineral? No!
Is it a protein supplement?

Well, …., maybe.

Life continues because of protein. Some protein mixes with other protein and bingo! more life! Making a protein shake might give the wrist a bit of a workout, but isn’t that flavor worth it? And it’s good cardiovascular exercise too. On that you can bet a buk {sic} okaay.

How do you pacify someone like that? With a little nuki of course.

Ya gotta love those lyrics, “Nuki, Nuki, Nuki, How I love my Nuki! Sweeter than a cookie, I’ll share it if you are my friend.”

Wild

Mr Spork, I Call You Runcible

It’s flooding here in Iowa. My house is on high ground, but yesterday I was almost an island. It was worse in 2008. There’s been a lot of comparisons in the news. One thing about that though. That flood was in the spring/early summer. We don’t usually get floods in the fall. And 500 year floods shouldn’t be happening 8 years apart.

http://lb.511ia.org/ialb/winterdriving/routeselect.jsf?view=state&text=m&textOnly=false

In 2008 the map at the 511 website had closures all over the state.

What does that have to do with anything? Well, since runcible is a nonsense word it has everything to do with it. I thought of the title first. Finding material to write about it is a little harder. Although I did learn that I was mistaken about a bit of trivia. I saw a commercial where they mentioned the inventiveness of whoever came up with the idea of a spork. The ad made it sound like a relatively recent invention. I had heard the term “Runcible spoon” and falsely assumed it was a much older term describing a spoon fork hybrid. I thought there might have been a person named Runcible. Nope.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runcible

Several years ago there was a car ad that really touted an ignition button on the dash. The ad claimed it was a new innovation. The person designing the ad had apparently never seen a pre-WWII car with an ignition button on the dash. They didn’t run the ad for very long so they must’ve figured it out. Advertising can provide a snapshot of consumer culture. Calgon, Take me away!”

That was hilarious. Hey, it fits in with consumer culture.

Wild

Rhett Butler Answers Rhetorical Question Without Reticence

And rhetoric can get so tiresome. If you see a headline that immediately causes any reasonable thinking person to explode with rage, bear in mind that there is probably more to the story.

There are shades of gray. There are more than fifty shades of grey even.

YES!!! I spelled them differently. Are we going to argue about the a or the e?

Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.

But….. May you be half an hour in Heaven before the devil knows you’re dead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf0E_PJtJWg

You can think what you want right?

Maybe. You could go somewhere less constrained just remember to floss.

Or maybe not.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/f7e66079d9ba4b4985d7af350619a9e3/medical-benefits-dental-floss-unproven

Wild
Someday I will have to watch the movie.

The Beautiful People

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is also in the attitude of the beholden.

When the beholden is confident of the opinion of the beholder the magic can happen. The sexiest people are the people who are being sexy to you because you like it. Does anything else really matter? I once heard a psychiatrist on a Columbia University Seminars telecourse say, “There are only a finite number of protuberances and orifices on the body. Nothing is as kinky or original as it’s practitioners think.”

That careless remark has become my mantra. I don’t follow it in practice, but I’m willing to think about it.

Thoughts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgFJJ77w2nA

Wait a minute, or about 8 actually. What happened there? That didn’t seem sexy.

WELL ARE YOU A SALMON? It might have been very sexy. That’s the whole point. With external fertilization who can say why they were getting off?

Okay Okay, it’s rather creepy to anesthetize the participants, sounds like what Bill Cosby is accused of, but he isn’t a salmon either.

Sometimes you get fish orgies where lots of females ovulate all over the place and then the guys do a bukakke scene over the eggs. And everybody is swimming in a sea of semen.

Well, watered down semen.

Just think, if all reproductive decisions were based on cognition, ALL species dependent on SEX would die out. Sexual desire over-rules all else and says, “But I want to.” If everybody waited until they: could afford/were ready to raise a family we would die out fast.

DON’T BLAME ME!!

That is also my mantra. I’ve been married 21 years as of last Friday. I repeat it often.

Wild

The Calamari, er, Dr Caligari is in the Cabinet

I watched “The Cabinet Of Dr Caligari” the other night. It was a bit different.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0010323/?ref_=nv_sr_1

One thing that really stood out for me was that all the chairs in the movie looked EXTREMELY uncomfortable EXCEPT for the chairs in the insane asylum. They were relatively normal looking and looked quite comfortable.

I don’t know what that means, but it must mean something.

The rest of the sets were quite surreal. I think they were making a statement about a dark and dreary existence with trapezoidal doors and painted scenery. It may have been a rhombus way around a point.

Or if you want to rewind that, https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_2053483537&feature=iv&src_vid=hnzHtm1jhL4&v=L47GQG12WHg

I haven’t had Calamari in quite a long time, but there is one restaurant here that I know serves it. But I lied. I don’t have any in the cabinet. I do have tuna though. It works for the See-food diet. I see food then I eat it.

Wild

A Fanciful Conspiracy

Conspiracy theories are by nature fanciful. Who would be interested in a boring one.

The depth and breadth of some are quite amazing. On a personal scale it probably has most to do with attaching meaning to what might be random events. A number of horror movies build on that theme. The victim wonders “Why me?” and the killer says it was fate or some such thing. The movie Curve, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3212904/?ref_=nv_sr_1 was like that.

Recently I was reading a blogpost by someone who had used Facebook to contact the bully from her middle school years. It had been a couple of decades and she wanted to understand why the bully had targeted her. I can’t find the specific post, but she was appalled that the bully claimed to not remember bullying her. That theme has also been used in movies. Two examples are http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1390535/ and http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1544578/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 I like both of those movies. But, I’m kinda weird too. But it does drive home that one shouldn’t worry too much about what others are thinking. Certain songs touch on the topic of an exaggerated sense of self importance bordering on delusions of reference. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6UAYGxiRwU

So what happens when the individual manages to convince others that it isn’t a delusion? That’s when the conspiracy blooms more fully. And how do you determine what is real? I never saw this movie, but I did read the book. Well I read part of it anyway, libraries have due dates. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067277/ Going off to dreamland isn’t always pleasant. You might be alert and they just give you another hypo. Or worse, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087175/?ref_=nv_sr_1

There is a point to this post.

It has nothing to do with the above.

I was watching The Young Turks and I was struck by a most fanciful conspiracy theory. Early in the campaigns a friend of mine was convinced that Trump was a plant. He was there to disrupt the GOP and allow the Dems to win. I didn’t agree. Trump seemed genuine in his vanity. I think he does want to be president. A different friend is a Rush fan and when I would ask him why doesn’t Rush run for office his answer was always that Rush didn’t want to take the pay cut. I don’t buy that. I don’t think salary is a major motivator for office, power might be though. In the case of the Donald, I think it would be an extension of his ego. That said, would he be a spoiler and give the election to the Dems? I don’t see it with Hillary running. She has too many people that REALLY don’t like her. Now here is where it gets fanciful. If she gets enough delegates to cinch the nomination and Bernie drops out there *IS* a peculiar possibility. She is not the nominee until the convention says she is. Bernie drops out, later she gets indicted, after that the party doesn’t nominate her because of the indictment but instead nominates Biden.

WOW!!!!

That’s a plot worthy of any one star movie. Thoughts?