Monthly Archives: May 2014

Cetaceans Vs Crustaceans, Prawn Wars for the Krill of it

Not much of a war really, the cetaceans have a whale of a time, and the krill are tiny. A really big one would be…., oh, a Jumbo Shrimp. That’s an oxymoron. I can’t help wondering if idiots aflame would have the same impact. When the lightbulb breaks the filament oxidizes rapidly and the ideas fade to darkness.

It is better to light a single candle than curse the darkness. The final panel of that Peanuts strip was black with Lucy saying, “Stupid Darkness.” Thank You Mr Schultz.

In times of doubt and uncertainty, one should reflect on the absolutes of life.

I refer to death and taxes


I suppose that would be one expression of hemorrhoids. I had a cousin that was an OTR truck driver. They’re prone to lots of ailments, mostly due to sitting for long periods of time.

Been kinda different at work lately. Tonight {Thursday} was one coworker’s last day. Good Luck Jimmy, I’ll miss ya. He’s retiring, he started about 6 months before I did. With his military time he has 31 years. He is older than me. I was one of the youngest ones there when I started. Another coworker died in a house fire a couple of weeks ago. The rumor mill has it that he was trying to get out before dying of smoke inhalation. One would hope that the carbon monoxide would get him before he actually started getting burned up. There were plenty of people that considered him annoying, but I can’t really think of anybody I would want to burn to death. And even if you don’t like the guy it is in really bad taste to joke about it. They’ve been firing more people lately too. The ones you would just as soon not see come back are like a bad penny. They just keep showing up. Hopefully I’ll get to retire before I die. One guy did die in the bathroom last year. They had a helluva time getting the steel door open. Fortunately it happened before my shift. I didn’t have to break the door, and I didn’t have to clean up the blood. Behind every silver lining lurks a cloud, right AB.

On the site where I used to blog was a guy going by Oldman1776, he always ended his posts, “Remember, if you wake up, it’s a good day.” I liked that.


A Trivial Incivility

Okay, what’s the deal with the 22 cal rimfire cartridges? I have a feeling some of you would tell me it’s a conspiracy. The government is buying up all the ammo. Yeah I’ve heard that before. REALLY? How much ammo can the big companies produce? Ya think the Guvmint is gonna buy it all? I can find plenty of centerfire ammo. The government isn’t buying all of that. Maybe it’s a conspiracy to get people to buy bigger guns. I’m not real big on conspiracy theories. It’s kind of like conspiracies to commit grand crimes. Someone always talks. That’s why grand conspiracies don’t work. But you never know they might be willing to sell you a map to buried pirate treasure. One-Eyed Willie sailed away at the end of Goonies.

Last time I checked you could buy a black powder replica kit without filling out any paperwork. It’s not a firearm until you assemble it. Some people might scoff at a revolver or a pepperbox. You only get one shot with that muzzle loader. Well yeah maybe you only NEED one shot. They worked pretty well in the Civil War. I would consider it incivility to shoot at someone, even with a muzzle loader. Maybe a cordial war would be nicer. Cordials are alcoholic beverages, even if they did shoot they would be less likely to hit their target after a few cordials.

Belle Boyd was not a Hooker. Hookers were the ladies following Gen. Fightin’ Joe Hooker. I had heard of hookers before. Actually Jay Leno used to do a segment with 911 calls. This obviously drunk guy calls 911 and says there are people playing horseshoes in his back yard and they won’t leave. The dispatcher asks him if he knows who they are. “Yes, they’re Hookers.” The dispatcher says she’ll send someone over. A little later the cop calls dispatch. “The guy with people playing horseshoes in his back yard, their last name is Hooker.” Belle Boyd was a Confederate spy. I had heard that she would seduce Union Officers and then get information from them and relay it south. She was captured, jailed, traded for other prisoners, captured again, then released. Now I may have been listening to a conspiracy nut, but I did hear that she spied for the Union to get her freedom the second time. I might be wholly wrong in that. Wiki says I’m wrong. In any case…

I’m not gonna worry about it.

When this song came out in the 80’s they played it TO DEATH. I didn’t think I would ever want to hear it again.



I had hoped it would show up as the actual picture not as the link but oh well.

And I can’t say for sure if it’s a wig, but I stand by the expression even if it is her actual hair.

Been watching Netflix this weekend. I scraped my leg Friday and I’ve felt lazy ever since.


Playing A Nazi Piano For Fake Lasagna Mousse

News can be really weird at times. And I remember other rather random things.

At some point in time, I cannot find this item in searches, a contestant on Wheel of Fortune bought a ceramic fish. Later, Pat tried to bring the item to the contestant and he dropped and broke it. Pat made the remark, “Once you buy a prize it’s yours to keep.” On to others.

I wonder if I can buy lumber at Olive Garden? I can’t recall.
That was on account of the pork they found. They should’ve stuck with the traditional Muppet Method for making Chocolate Moose.

Nazi pianos? Apparently neo nazis like to use a one for one trade of numbers for letters. A=1, B=2, etc etc. Some laundry soap being sold in Germany ran into the problem of that size container doing 88 loads. {a totally inconsequential irrelevant observation, bukakke is a method of cooking noodles by splashing hot water on them. If you google it you will find recipes. But you will also find some other unusual activities. One might imagine that athletes could benefit from the protein content}. Enough about the loads, when I think of 88 the first thing in mind is a piano. 88 Keys. 8 8 stands for H H which means Heil Hitler. Really. Seems a bit of a stretch.

It is possible to misunderstand anything if you work at it hard enough.


Will Gen X Brush With Socialist Potato Cabals

Forget about Freedom Fries. Old style automobiles had generators instead of alternators. Periodically you would have to replace the brushes. The brushes ride on the commutator ring. Commutator ring sounds like subversive potatoes to me, and you thought French Fries didn’t show the proper patriotic starch for a stiff upper lip. If you’re worried about carbs too much then get fuel injection. If you’re easily shocked then it’s going to be a bumpy ride. I’m tired already on the recap. Don’t get me started on the tranny, it needs to radiate through it’s own cooling system. It’ll be smokin’ hot otherwise. Drag racing can be rough. Pit crews need something nourishing once in a while, it can’t be beer and Spuds for the Mckenzie bulls.

How much of that did you get? Is it an age test?


No More Ice Cubes For Me

Are we there Yet? Are we done yet? Ghosts of Mars. Not a fan of rap. I didn’t mind his acting though. And I’m not talking about him anyway.

Nope, It’s definitely going to be tetrahedrons and hemicylinders, and maybe a few rectangular solids. I like ice. I like A LOT of ice in my cold drinks. And I tend to reuse bottles. Regular cubes and trapezoidal solids just don’t fit through the necks of thermos bottles and beverage bottles. These other shapes do. I also have a tray that makes cylinders, but to get them out you have to run hot water on the bottom and sides until it loosens up. And if you put them back in the freezer right away they all stick together. I found some trays at Blains that have the cylinders on their sides so that the other side is open. You get half-cylinders that way, and they’re easy to get out. I also have two trays that produce long rectangles and they’re made of silicon so they’re very flexible. Tetrahedrons are pyramid shaped and quite small. Very convenient except you have to use a ton of them to fill a bottle. I used to fill the bottles a little less than half full then freeze them on their side. It takes a while for those to cool the drink. They last a long time though. Using various sticks I can get the bottle to cool the contents fast and still keep them cold for awhile too.

National Endowment for the Arts? I Think NOT

Breaded and fried food is high in carbs because of the breading, is high in fat because the breading holds oil. Therefore it must be awful for you. That’s why it tastes so good.

How could I possibly use that headline with that link followed by that paragraph? Doctor Demento.

The last line of a comedy advertisement on Dr D was for Chicken Dick’s Chicken Sticks, YOU CAN REALLY TASTE THE COCK.

The women I’ve talked to about penis sizes like the above have commented in some similar manner as AIN’T NO FUCKIN’ WAY. As AB would say, if the guy is hung like a horse, the gal has to be built like a mare.

Nothing like a little frivolity to end the night.


Rites of the Accused

I’m going to get a little political now. If you don’t get offended HEY WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?

People who have read my stuff know that I like word games, crosswords, puns and the like. And I have strong views on just about everything. I consider myself to be a bleeding heart Liberal. Some of the people I talk politics to wouldn’t really agree with that. People on the left or right generally consider me to to be on the wrong.

On the issue of guns, I own some. I grew up hunting and fishing a lot. That was called wanting to eat something other than vegetables. It IS after Lent, so I can ask “What do you mean fish isn’t meat?” And please don’t talk to me about killing to eat. We also grew lots and lots of plants. They were alive. I suspect they knew they were alive. Some of them can have an attitude, just ask any Kudzu farmer. For hunting I did use a 410 or 20 gauge. They were lightweight, if you’re walking a cornfield it makes a difference. I usually had 6 shells with me. Most of the time if I did fire a shot I was attempting to hit what I was shooting at. That leads to an extremely good point. Gun control is shooting what you want to shoot. That doesn’t happen a surprising amount of time. My dad was really REALLY strict when it came to gun safety. He cautioned me about hunting with others. He hit the bullseye with that one. A lot of people are not careful. I have learned that even when I go to a shooting range, I watch before I get out of my vehicle. Dick Chaney was the second sitting vice president to shoot somebody. Aaron Burr was the first. He was using a 28 gauge to hunt quail. And Quayle wasn’t even VP then.

As a word enthusiast I take issue with people that say stupid shit. It might seem trivial, but that was one the most grating aspects of W. Biden says a lot of stupid shit, but liberals don’t go into linguistic pretzels defending him. Sarah Palin recently made a comment about waterboarding being the way we baptize terrorists. Steve King {unfortunately from Iowa} compared the treatment of prisoners at abu Ghraib to fraternity hazing. Yes, their intent was to insult bleeding heart liberals. They insult others through sheer ignorance and arrogance. Baptism is a sacred rite of Christianity. Different Christians have their own ideas of the importance of it, but I consider her statement as denigrating the importance of it. Steve King’s comment should really piss off anybody that has lost a loved one to fraternity or sorority hazing. If he intended to equate the guards actions with illegal and sometimes fatal activities I wouldn’t have a problem with the statement. I don’t think it was intended that way. The real problem I have with both of those statements is that they are rites of INITIATION. People experience Baptism and hazing initiations because THEY ARE JOINING THE GROUP DOING IT. That is not an insignificant point.

A candidate from Iowa is running an ad boasting about castrating pigs. I’m not going to link to it. If you want to see it, search for it. I will link to this.

I guess I won’t link to anything. I could’ve sworn that Weird Al had a parody called “The Way You Make Me Squeal.” I know I heard it on Dr Demento, but I haven’t been having much luck with music lately.