Tag Archives: cars

Will Gen X Brush With Socialist Potato Cabals

Forget about Freedom Fries. Old style automobiles had generators instead of alternators. Periodically you would have to replace the brushes. The brushes ride on the commutator ring. Commutator ring sounds like subversive potatoes to me, and you thought French Fries didn’t show the proper patriotic starch for a stiff upper lip. If you’re worried about carbs too much then get fuel injection. If you’re easily shocked then it’s going to be a bumpy ride. I’m tired already on the recap. Don’t get me started on the tranny, it needs to radiate through it’s own cooling system. It’ll be smokin’ hot otherwise. Drag racing can be rough. Pit crews need something nourishing once in a while, it can’t be beer and Spuds for the Mckenzie bulls.

How much of that did you get? Is it an age test?


EW GROSS! Why did I do that?

The other day I was browsing through Youtube and I noticed a large number of videos that warned of graphic scenes. Now the expression curiosity killed the cat should have popped into my head. It didn’t, and I entered just one word in the search field. GROSS, and you should have seen the videos that showed up from THAT search.

Actually you shouldn’t.

Maybe I should stick to watching cat videos, here pussy pussy.

And that reminds me of wintergreen lozenges. Yes, I am odd.

My vehicle broke down earlier in the week, and the place I had work on it had those pink wintergreen lozenges. I do so like eating pink things.


My Headlights Are Fresh and Minty

Okay not really, it’s been over a week since I used the toothpaste.

And no, I didn’t use a brush. I put the toothpaste on a rag.

Actually it was an old sock. I use old socks as rags.

I am still talking about my headlights though.

It was one of those life hacks posted on facebook. You can use toothpaste to polish the crud off headlights. Here in Iowa the roadsalt and winter crud get on the headlights and it doesn’t wipe off with windshield washer. The toothpaste works great. Some of the tips I’ve known for ages, some I’ve never heard of, a few actually work, REALLY!

Furball mentioned the tip of using coffee filters to clean the windshield. It also works well on eyeglasses.

I had to replace some of those flat batteries recently.

I’m allergic to Sudaphed.

It’s not a good idea to buy watch batteries, pseudepherine, and coffee filters at the same time especially if that is all you’re getting. Maybe you have to get starting ether too. Maybe duct tape, condoms, and alcohol would be less suspicious.

Anyway I’m still here, even if I’m not posting as much.


Joe’s Garage

I mentioned that I was having some tranny trouble, well, they adjusted the belt on the Fan, drained the Tranny Fluid, and the Caddy is back on the course. Dirty Gertie rides again.

That’s an 87 Cadillac with 280K miles on it for the non-pervs. It is running much better, and it was my mom’s car until she quit driving and all of her cars were named Gertie.

For the pervs out there, scrutinize this.

Frank Zappa, Joe’s Garage {three album set, two cd set re-released I think in the 90’s}. Notice, this is Dong Work for Yuda, there aren’t puppets involved. The hollow sounding character is the Central Scrutinizer who narrates all three albums.


Tranny Trouble, It may be terminal, Big Dog Siriusly

My car is acting strange. It might be tranny trouble. My mom named all of her cars “Gertie” I don’t know why. I don’t recall ever seeing a Gertrude in the family tree/bush. But this was her car before mine. I tend to think of it as a male. Maybe that’s the problem. It wants to be “Dirty Gertie”. I suppose I’ll have to pull on the dipstick and see how the tranny fluid is. I’ll be getting a new tire for it in the afternoon. I’ll look on line to see what kind of lube my tranny likes. If there’s time I need to renew my DL too. You get 60 days to renew, I’m about half way there.

Big dog Siriusly? Sirius is in Canis Major, big dog.

In one sense we’re all terminal, this toon says it all.



Long Long Ago In A Galaxy Far Far Away…..

There were three on the tree …….

….. Standard Tranny …..

I learned to how handle a stick……

Lola was playing on the radio….

Not really but it sounded good.

A 1965 Ford Galaxy 500, it belonged to my brother-in-law, and in it I learned how to drive a manual transmission car. It had a bad starter so you always had to park on a hill. I went in the ditch with it once. My sister lived on a gravel road 3 or 4 miles from the nearest blacktop, the driveway was about 1/4 mile. I was taking her to work and she found a tick crawling on her and flipped out. I was attempting to help her and drive at the same time. All at once she yelled “Look Out!” I looked up just as we went off the road. Dumb luck prevailed. I didn’t hit anything solid, I kept my foot on the gas, drove down into the ditch then back out. If I had cranked the wheel we would probably have rolled over. No damage so my sister and I decided that that trip would be our little secret. I don’t know if she ever did tell my BIL but I knew he was suspicious of the weeds in the hubcaps and stuck in the trim {the trim above the doors and along the roof line LOL}. You could see the path in the ditch too. It was full of tall prairie grass about 5′ high.

I’m a bit down right now. I went out to my car to go to the grocery store and discovered a very flat tire. I knew they were a few years old, but I had hoped they would last through the season. The places I normally get tires are closed Sunday. So I have to wait until Monday. I called my boss to see if I could have the day off. No, but I can come in later. These tires are from May of 2007. I remember because I topped the peak of an overpass and there were tools scattered across all three lanes. I tried to straddle some and I clipped a sledge hammer. It knocked the tire off the rim. Sometimes bad things happen when you try to straddle tools.


A Stick, A Stick, My Kingdom for a stick

Actually a stick wouldn’t have done me any good because of the crook in the neck.

Yes, I choose my words carefully.

Monday night on my way home from work I did something I had only done once before and that was in December 1981. I ran out of gas. My gas gauge sticks on full, but when I get down to half it usually starts working and reads correctly then. Not this time. I get off work a little past midnight, it was 14 degrees out, not a soul on the road. And I don’t own a cellphone. I was a mile and a half from home. I start walking and discover, my jacket has a broken zipper. I do most of my posting and reading on the weekend, and I had intended to title this, “I didn’t die! I made it! I did have my doubts.” I changed my mind after Friday’s news. I didn’t want anybody jumping to the conclusion that I was making light of that.

At work we used to have our own gas pumps and underground tanks. The way you check them to see how much is left is to use a long stick. We no longer have the tanks, but we do still have the stick. And you use a dip stick to check oil, tranny fluid {that’s always fun}, power steering fluid, etc. Gasoline you rely on a float system and they make the tanks with a bend in the neck to prevent you from using a stick.

I think of the movie Club Paradise when I think of the line about not dying. Joe Flaherty is a pilot in that movie. After he lands he does a little dance, kisses the ground, and generally inspires confidence.

Not only do I not have a stick, I don’t have a kingdom either. So the offer is null and void. I plan on buying gas regardless of my gauge so that I won’t be null and void too.