Category Archives: Humor

I laughed, or smiled

Anomalies

Do you ever find yourself thinking that so-and-so was really really hot. And then you look at the date it was made and realize that so-and-so is ancient if they are even alive.

Does that make a difference?

What difference does it make?

Now if you were paying attention the second question implies a positive response to the first question, and therefore one appropriate response might be “Fuck You!”

I like that. Stand up proud for how you feel.

However I am not like that myself. I find almost all fetishes interesting from an intellectual standpoint. Well what the Hell do you like, people might ask me. Being as much a part of your orgasm as I can be, would be my response. Being part of that moment when you go past the point of no return is what really gets me going.

So what does that have to do with anything?

Absolutely nothing!!!

Unless you like antique porn. Or you can imagine what it would be like to have sex with historical figures.

That is unfortunately one of my hangups.

Sexy silent film stars rock

modern dentistry helps

The Beautiful People

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is also in the attitude of the beholden.

When the beholden is confident of the opinion of the beholder the magic can happen. The sexiest people are the people who are being sexy to you because you like it. Does anything else really matter? I once heard a psychiatrist on a Columbia University Seminars telecourse say, “There are only a finite number of protuberances and orifices on the body. Nothing is as kinky or original as it’s practitioners think.”

That careless remark has become my mantra. I don’t follow it in practice, but I’m willing to think about it.

Thoughts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgFJJ77w2nA

Wait a minute, or about 8 actually. What happened there? That didn’t seem sexy.

WELL ARE YOU A SALMON? It might have been very sexy. That’s the whole point. With external fertilization who can say why they were getting off?

Okay Okay, it’s rather creepy to anesthetize the participants, sounds like what Bill Cosby is accused of, but he isn’t a salmon either.

Sometimes you get fish orgies where lots of females ovulate all over the place and then the guys do a bukakke scene over the eggs. And everybody is swimming in a sea of semen.

Well, watered down semen.

Just think, if all reproductive decisions were based on cognition, ALL species dependent on SEX would die out. Sexual desire over-rules all else and says, “But I want to.” If everybody waited until they: could afford/were ready to raise a family we would die out fast.

DON’T BLAME ME!!

That is also my mantra. I’ve been married 21 years as of last Friday. I repeat it often.

Wild

Bombshells, Bazookas, Lichen a threesome

Bombshell is a somewhat old fashioned term. It’s not even close to being archaic, but you still don’t hear it everyday. Despite military connotations it can be used to describe a sexpot, sex-kitten, or vamp. Jayne Mansfield can be called a bombshell.
http://www.jaynemansfield.com/
Her daughter is pretty hot too.
http://www.instyle.com/celebrity/transformations/mariska-hargitays-changing-looks

Mother and daughter are both bombshells. One reason, or rather two reasons, would be her big bazookas. That’s another military term. Well thank God for the second amendment right? I like bare arms with bazookas showing.

Except, well, we can’t have other kinds of bazookas and bombshells. https://www.atf.gov/rules-and-regulations/national-firearms-act

If the second amendment meant that the individual could keep arms to protect themselves against a tyrannical government, then that individual would be allowed to keep weapons capable of repelling a tyrannical government. The amendment refers to militias. They ARE allowed to keep those kinds of weapons. The weapons are found in National Guard Armories.

Waging war against the Federal Government is covered in Article III sec 3. http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/constitution_transcript.html

Now for LICHENS!
They used to be considered two entities living in symbiosis. Well now there are three. It’s a changing worldview isn’t it. http://www.immortal.org/28095/new-lichen-discovery-upsets-100-years-science/

What’s life without a little romance? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ihs_V92_kyk

Wild

The Calamari, er, Dr Caligari is in the Cabinet

I watched “The Cabinet Of Dr Caligari” the other night. It was a bit different.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0010323/?ref_=nv_sr_1

One thing that really stood out for me was that all the chairs in the movie looked EXTREMELY uncomfortable EXCEPT for the chairs in the insane asylum. They were relatively normal looking and looked quite comfortable.

I don’t know what that means, but it must mean something.

The rest of the sets were quite surreal. I think they were making a statement about a dark and dreary existence with trapezoidal doors and painted scenery. It may have been a rhombus way around a point.

Or if you want to rewind that, https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_2053483537&feature=iv&src_vid=hnzHtm1jhL4&v=L47GQG12WHg

I haven’t had Calamari in quite a long time, but there is one restaurant here that I know serves it. But I lied. I don’t have any in the cabinet. I do have tuna though. It works for the See-food diet. I see food then I eat it.

Wild

A Fanciful Conspiracy

Conspiracy theories are by nature fanciful. Who would be interested in a boring one.

The depth and breadth of some are quite amazing. On a personal scale it probably has most to do with attaching meaning to what might be random events. A number of horror movies build on that theme. The victim wonders “Why me?” and the killer says it was fate or some such thing. The movie Curve, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3212904/?ref_=nv_sr_1 was like that.

Recently I was reading a blogpost by someone who had used Facebook to contact the bully from her middle school years. It had been a couple of decades and she wanted to understand why the bully had targeted her. I can’t find the specific post, but she was appalled that the bully claimed to not remember bullying her. That theme has also been used in movies. Two examples are http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1390535/ and http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1544578/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 I like both of those movies. But, I’m kinda weird too. But it does drive home that one shouldn’t worry too much about what others are thinking. Certain songs touch on the topic of an exaggerated sense of self importance bordering on delusions of reference. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6UAYGxiRwU

So what happens when the individual manages to convince others that it isn’t a delusion? That’s when the conspiracy blooms more fully. And how do you determine what is real? I never saw this movie, but I did read the book. Well I read part of it anyway, libraries have due dates. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067277/ Going off to dreamland isn’t always pleasant. You might be alert and they just give you another hypo. Or worse, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087175/?ref_=nv_sr_1

There is a point to this post.

It has nothing to do with the above.

I was watching The Young Turks and I was struck by a most fanciful conspiracy theory. Early in the campaigns a friend of mine was convinced that Trump was a plant. He was there to disrupt the GOP and allow the Dems to win. I didn’t agree. Trump seemed genuine in his vanity. I think he does want to be president. A different friend is a Rush fan and when I would ask him why doesn’t Rush run for office his answer was always that Rush didn’t want to take the pay cut. I don’t buy that. I don’t think salary is a major motivator for office, power might be though. In the case of the Donald, I think it would be an extension of his ego. That said, would he be a spoiler and give the election to the Dems? I don’t see it with Hillary running. She has too many people that REALLY don’t like her. Now here is where it gets fanciful. If she gets enough delegates to cinch the nomination and Bernie drops out there *IS* a peculiar possibility. She is not the nominee until the convention says she is. Bernie drops out, later she gets indicted, after that the party doesn’t nominate her because of the indictment but instead nominates Biden.

WOW!!!!

That’s a plot worthy of any one star movie. Thoughts?

Of Mice And Men

The best laid plans sounds like something you might find on a sex site.

Mice – pestilence carrying rodents, not a good choice for dating.

Men – attributes vary wildly, might be a good date depending on your preferences of the moment. A man-date is something politicians often talk about. They usually want one. Strangely they often want one even if they are male and anti-LGBT rights.

Well let’s look at the mice again.

It could be a touch mouse or a rollerball, perhaps even optical.

That doesn’t sound like much of a date?

Well if you take the mouse to a sex site…..

You won’t find Denisovans but perhaps Neanderthals would be good enough

Not a lot of words to this song but what would you expect from Neanderthals.

Alas Poor Yorick, I’d rather Be A Tree

The question is not IF you will die, but what will be served at the reception. Soylent Green is not recommended.

One of my cousins died about a week ago. She was the last of her generation in that branch of my extended family. My dad’s sister had two girls and a boy. Her grandkids are in their forties. Her great grandkids are in their twenties. Some of them have young children also. The young ones I really don’t know. I can see obvious family traits so I know who they came from. They’re obviously human. I doubt there is any Denisovan in the family tree, Neanderthals I’m not so sure about. Anyway, the one that died was 69 and had one daughter. I remember when that daughter first remembered that I was a family member. Her aunt and uncle were celebrating their 25th anniversary. They were my cousins also so I attended until I had to leave for work. Later, a coworker and I were working on the exterior of the building when she went in. I said “Hi” and she ignored me. My coworker asked me if I knew her. I told him it was my cousin’s kid. She was about 20 and quite attractive. When she came out I said, “I said HI!” She turned, ready to give an earful when she suddenly realized I was a relative. “Oh, you work here?” she said. I replied, “For about the last 15 years”. She has not forgotten me since. I have been mistaken for other family members since we tend to be short round and hairy.

After I’m dead I suspect I really won’t care what happens to my earthly remains. I have no martian remains.

I did not know Yorick. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yorick

According to Ginger on Gilligan’s Island, one acting lesson is to pretend to be a tree. One can be a real tree. http://www.beatree.com/

If you don’t want to be a tree, perhaps you would like to be plastic? http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/exihibition-of-human-bodies-body-worlds-come-home-to-heidelberg

Some are less enamored of plastic. Frank Zappa wrote https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy4KU0bWrbc

Denisovans did exist. I didn’t make them up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denisovan

That last vid was just because I find it hilarious and I haven’t watched it in a while.

Wild

B.W.B. Babes Without Borders

I’m pretty much an equal opportunity ogler. There are people that are easy on the eyes in most countries. I certainly enjoy looking at them. A Miss Universe contest featuring only humans does seem a bit egocentric for the species though. It could be xenophobia I suppose. On Gilligan’s Island Gilligan managed to avoid trouble by picking Gladys. She was the only native.

There might be other natives in the universe. Would they be babes? What characteristics define a “Babe”? Well the word babe is closely related to the word baby. There is a survival benefit for babies to be cute. How many would be conceived or born if a mother’s reaction were “That ugly thing came out of me! It Hurt!!”

Babies like milk glands, mammalian ones anyway. Their fathers often like milk glands too. Sometimes politicians like milk glands. They even kiss babies sometimes. Some aren’t sure what they should kiss. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilbur_Mills Or who they should kiss https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Sanford

It should be noted that if you tell your family and security detail that you will be gone hiking, you might want to pick some other time than nude hiking week. http://www.hikingnaked.com/index.php?topic=103.0;prev_next=next

Politicians aren’t always known for good decisions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK8Iowe83-A
The blond behind Dean is pretty cute. The hearings interrupted my cartoons so yes I did watch the hearings despite being rather young. I started following politics after that. I have no idea if the blond aged well. Physical beauty is transient. Elizabeth Sladen was very pretty, but she’s been dead about 5 years so her appearance has suffered I’m sure. I’ll lose a lot of weight after I die, especially if my wife has me cremated. Celluloid lasts longer than people. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0805207/?ref_=nv_sr_1 Recycling through the carbon cycle is independent of national borders but largely limited by planetary borders unless you are considering time scales large enough to say that we are all just “Star Stuff” to quote Carl Sagan.

So what makes a babe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

and that might trigger a Christmas wish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUZqfByAOUs

I have some different ideas. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj-UqKjOwwo

Wild

Good Gnus, Bad Gnus, Oh Bull!

Does a Lapp dance bring Rain Dear?

The Mount ain’t lying about them cougars. They is lookin’ for a Postal Boy Toy called E-male. They found ‘im in the Bull-E Pull-Pit. It was a virtual man-hole.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2015/01/06/farmer-destroys-nazi-cows/21325527/

Wild The Beest

Wild has left the building. NOT!

I would never desert my blogging post. I’m not getting any younger. I’m not Peter Pan. But I’m not Smee either. There are several bloggers I miss reading. I maintain my standard membership at another site specifically to read certain blogs. Reading someone is different than other forms of communicating. Are your virtual friends not real friends? Of course they are. The friendship can be both closer and more distant at the same time. Closer in that you share what you think somewhat more. Distant in that you don’t get the nonverbal communication. It’s a little hard to read body language if you can’t see the person. The radio interviewer Terry Gross interviews people over the phone instead of in the studio. She doesn’t get more visual cues than any listener. Her show is “Fresh Air” on public radio.

The movie “Stalled” takes place in a bathroom with two people talking through the partition. They talk during a zombie apocalypse so it is a bit odd. It does provide an example of how people relate when they can’t see each other.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2140429/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Wild