Tag Archives: wordplay

B.W.B. Babes Without Borders

I’m pretty much an equal opportunity ogler. There are people that are easy on the eyes in most countries. I certainly enjoy looking at them. A Miss Universe contest featuring only humans does seem a bit egocentric for the species though. It could be xenophobia I suppose. On Gilligan’s Island Gilligan managed to avoid trouble by picking Gladys. She was the only native.

There might be other natives in the universe. Would they be babes? What characteristics define a “Babe”? Well the word babe is closely related to the word baby. There is a survival benefit for babies to be cute. How many would be conceived or born if a mother’s reaction were “That ugly thing came out of me! It Hurt!!”

Babies like milk glands, mammalian ones anyway. Their fathers often like milk glands too. Sometimes politicians like milk glands. They even kiss babies sometimes. Some aren’t sure what they should kiss. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilbur_Mills Or who they should kiss https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Sanford

It should be noted that if you tell your family and security detail that you will be gone hiking, you might want to pick some other time than nude hiking week. http://www.hikingnaked.com/index.php?topic=103.0;prev_next=next

Politicians aren’t always known for good decisions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK8Iowe83-A
The blond behind Dean is pretty cute. The hearings interrupted my cartoons so yes I did watch the hearings despite being rather young. I started following politics after that. I have no idea if the blond aged well. Physical beauty is transient. Elizabeth Sladen was very pretty, but she’s been dead about 5 years so her appearance has suffered I’m sure. I’ll lose a lot of weight after I die, especially if my wife has me cremated. Celluloid lasts longer than people. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0805207/?ref_=nv_sr_1 Recycling through the carbon cycle is independent of national borders but largely limited by planetary borders unless you are considering time scales large enough to say that we are all just “Star Stuff” to quote Carl Sagan.

So what makes a babe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

and that might trigger a Christmas wish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUZqfByAOUs

I have some different ideas. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj-UqKjOwwo

Wild

Lulu’s Gone Away

Some of my coworkers retired at the end of March.

Everybody makes the workplace happy. Some when they arrive, some when they leave.

Some are real lulus. I had that song stuck in my brain too. I remember it as a cutesy “Adult” song from back in the day of euphemisms.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bang_Bang_Lulu

http://www.kristinhall.org/songbook/SeaAndPub/BangBangLulu.html

Is there a euphemistic way of referring to euphemisms?

What synonyms are there for synonym?

And what about Dennis Rader?

Sometimes my mind doesn’t simply wander, my train of thought derails and careens wildly through non sequiturs. And according to Merriam Webster I spelled that correctly, but the spellcheck running in the background didn’t like it. It’s been in the English language since the 1500s. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/non%20sequitur

Dennis Rader was the BTK killer. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_Rader

In some documentaries they talk about serial killers feeling like they have no control over their life. So they take control by killing people. BTK exemplifies this in that he stopped killing after he became a code enforcement officer. When he could be a real asshole to people and they didn’t really have any recourse, he didn’t feel the need to kill.

It makes me wonder how many “Little Hitlers” would turn into serial killers if they didn’t have their own little realm to rule over.

Then I wonder if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that they have those little realms. How many people do they make miserable through “Legitimate” outlets compared to how many people do they make miserable by being a serial killer?

On the bright side, whichever they do they don’t live forever. All reigns end sometime. Into all lives a little reign must fall.

One coworker I will miss, the other is a joy to not see any more.

Good Gnus, Bad Gnus, Oh Bull!

Does a Lapp dance bring Rain Dear?

The Mount ain’t lying about them cougars. They is lookin’ for a Postal Boy Toy called E-male. They found ‘im in the Bull-E Pull-Pit. It was a virtual man-hole.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2015/01/06/farmer-destroys-nazi-cows/21325527/

Wild The Beest

Wild has left the building. NOT!

I would never desert my blogging post. I’m not getting any younger. I’m not Peter Pan. But I’m not Smee either. There are several bloggers I miss reading. I maintain my standard membership at another site specifically to read certain blogs. Reading someone is different than other forms of communicating. Are your virtual friends not real friends? Of course they are. The friendship can be both closer and more distant at the same time. Closer in that you share what you think somewhat more. Distant in that you don’t get the nonverbal communication. It’s a little hard to read body language if you can’t see the person. The radio interviewer Terry Gross interviews people over the phone instead of in the studio. She doesn’t get more visual cues than any listener. Her show is “Fresh Air” on public radio.

The movie “Stalled” takes place in a bathroom with two people talking through the partition. They talk during a zombie apocalypse so it is a bit odd. It does provide an example of how people relate when they can’t see each other.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2140429/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Wild

Val, In Tines, Could Be Hairy, Could be Harry

Could be a theme for a horror movie.

Could be a theme for a whorer movie.

A hirsute pursuit for hair pie leads to a forking. Bird nest soup would need a spoon. Hair pi is irrational and would require squaring the circle jerk to make bukakke noodles.

Notice the redirect, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trout_Mask_Replica
That would be “Bake 1”.
This link isn’t showing that it was a redirect from “Hair Pie – Bake 1”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edible_bird’s_nest

The irrational need disambiguation. Cold Udon might not be what you’re looking for.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Udon#Cold

Hopefully the tines didn’t go too deep and Val had a good day.

And what about Harry?

The Trouble With Harry is a movie with Shirley MacLaine.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0048750/?ref_=nv_sr_1


Wild

It’s a Good Day To Die

That’s a quote from Dustin Hoffman in “Little Big Man”. But I like it. I like it a lot and it should be a Native American quote.

First of all, there is nobody from 150 or more years ago alive. They’re all dead Dave. What does a life matter if you’re just going to end up dead in the end anyway?

VERY Very good question, I don’t have an answer. All I can really offer is the generalization that sooner or later we all die. So, what really matters?

That IS a fair question. I call myself a Liberal. That’s what I call myself. Other people don’t necessarily agree. Basically, I’m pro death. Death penalty, well they will never be able to do it again and eventually they would have died anyway. Abortion, die now or later. Right to die, maybe I should blow your brains out if you want to stop me from blowing mine out. The one thing we have in common EVEN MORE THAN TAXES is death. I had an uncle that spent 10 years in a bed. I’d rather have a bullet. He was a good Catholic though. He couldn’t do that.

Who will remember me. Who have I had some impact on. More importantly, who have I had a net positive influence on.

Who have I had a negative impact on? Are there any assholes that I have truly succeeded in annoying?

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. I am not wishing to die. I am wishing that the quote was a real native American quote.

Donald Trump accuses Megan Kelly of menstruating.

Blood WILL be shed. I love being a liberal.

Wild

Broad Vistas

I have many peculiarities. Time is one of them. Hot babes, who qualifies? Subjective evaluations follow. Is that an evaluation of physical appearance? Is it an evaluation of… …. BODY TEMPERATURE.

I desire a cool environment. AC is a must. Unless you have a pool. That would be acceptable. A kiddie pool is useful.

If all else fails a horse trough will suffice, but cow drool is truly disgusting.

Agnes Morehead, Francis Bavier, Angela Lansbury, were absolutely totally hot in their day.

That day continues to exist in the time continuum. Raquel Welch is an exception. Some are timelessly sexy like Raquel and Sophia Loren. Mae West was sexy right up to her death. In Heaven I might come up and see her sometime.

The passion of flesh for flesh out weighs the passion of intellect for intellect. Base desires sometimes rule, but they might look for justification.

It would seem that I am unfortunate in desiring females that are not coincident with my timeline. It’s a curse. Even into the future.

I Attempted to Make a Bung Wrench. I Failed

Bung wrenches open bung holes. They are not medical devices. That is not speculation. That would just be speculums.

Ba-bum! drumbeat there

Opening drums is done by removing the bung from the bung hole. That is not always easy without a bung wrench. Now I wasn’t opening any drums the other day, but I was working on a Major Fawcett problem. My kitchen faucet was dripping and I decided to fix it. I’ll quote what I posted on Facebook.

Worked on a project today. My kitchen faucet has been dripping for awhile. If it’s not much it isn’t a big deal in Iowa. It just makes it that much less likely your pipes will freeze. The drip rate recently got worse and I decided to replace it. *I* had installed the current faucet myself 20 years and 6 weeks ago. Yes I know that. I’m kind of anal about record keeping. I looked at it. I went to Blains and bought a new one. Looking at it I remembered thinking that it would be a good idea to spend a little more and get a more solidly made one with more brass and less plastic. Today my thought was, the major part of this project will be getting the old faucet out. After that I should be able to install, clean it up and leak check in about a half an hour. I was absolutely right. The first three hours consisted of laying on my back in a mixture of windex, Mr Clean, floor soap, interspersed with holding tools in contorted positions with water, rust, lime scale, and tools falling on my head. The last half hour was installing and cleaning. The extra money I had spent on brass had ended up going for corrosion instead. That was one tough faucet to get out. I really don’t plan on living long enough to have to do it again. By then it would kill me if I wasn’t already dead.

So, what does that have to do with bung wrenches? The locking nuts on the bottom of the faucet had a shape that reminded me of bungs I had removed from barrels of other stuff. I don’t own my own bung wrench. I tried to cobble something that looked like a bung wrench. It did look right. But it was not strong enough.

I finished the job without having to fix any new leaks, no leaks runs or errors!

The next day my arms were sore any time I put my arms up over me. So I didn’t keep doing that. Some people put their arms up quite a lot. Some people are into BD/SM too. Not me though, it’s just not my thing. I have read about it and talked to a few people that were into it. I am into reading and talking. In the mid 70’s Club magazine had so-so pictorials but really weird articles. It provided a drastic stark difference between the people that said “I read it for the articles” and the people who ACTUALLY did read it for the articles. It was amusing to ask the former group if they had read Karl Steiner’s column. It didn’t matter which answer they gave I would ask them, “Well what’s his column about in that issue?” I almost always enjoyed that gag.

Karl Steiner is a very common name. I had trouble finding any references to quote. The following sites include the table of contents for various issues. Beyond that I don’t know much about them. On some pictures you can also read the cover headlines.

http://www.myerscollectibles.com/store/item/1d0vp/Mens_Magazines/Club_Magazine_Vol_1_1_February_1975.html

http://www.magizine.org/CLUBmagCLUB197603.htm

http://www.magizine.org/CLUBmagCLUB197606.htm

Wild

Should’ve Shari Lewis Shared Lamb Chops With Cher?

Yes, pork chops would’ve been inappropriate.

I’m tempted to leave it at that.

First time I saw Shari on TV my reaction was WOW what a babe.

First time I saw Cher on TV was on the Sonny and Cher Show. She was drawing interest for her displays of sideboob and bare skin below her navel.

There used to be a big variety of variety shows. Flip Wilson made an entertaining Geraldine.

My title is bugging me. My inner grammar-nazi can’t decide if it’s a split infinitive. “Should Have Shari Shared” or “Should Shari Have Shared”. I should have gone with the imperative “Shari should have shared.”

I’ll have to ruminate on that. I’m not one to say “No Gnus is Good Gnus.”

In the meantime, enjoy the Flip side.

Wild {debeest}

Two Score Years Ago I Was Too Sore To Soar Too.

Okay, maybe not quite forty years ago. Big Science came out in 82. But wouldn’t you be sore?

You would expect me to keep a record of the time? Going down on the Captain might lead to other things.

Well I said they were too sore. Too means excessive. Excessive oral sex leads to sensitivity and Beaver Breath.

Too can also mean also. Too!

And two can mean 2. The number two that is. I’m not talking about scat here. Herr stranger I don’t want to hear about scat. What about the score? What, beaver breath isn’t good enough you want to score too? Or were you talking about the musical score? Laurie had an interesting technique on another song from that album.

It’s interesting for me to watch this video now. I bought the vinyl on the recommendation of a friend not long after it came out. I bought the CD after I bought a CD player in 88. I saw this video for the first time just recently. I didn’t realize she signed on it until then. Learn something new all the time. But you would think Superman would have a cape? Where’s the cape?

Okay, this probably does go back forty years, but I just saw it recently. Superheros don’t {necessarily} wear dresses.

http://itwasneveradress.com/

I saw a personalized license plate at the gas station one day. It said PYTHAGORAS. I said to the guy getting gas, “You must be either a musician or a mathematician.” He replied, “So must you.” He was a musician. I told him to bake sugar cookies into regular polygons and have the kids use frosting to stack them into dodecahedra. You start with stars and chop off Isosceles triangles. That will leave you with pentagons and unhappy children. They might cheer up when they see how much frosting/chocolate is needed to stick the sides together. Then you tell them that Euclid’s Elements is actually a dessert cookbook.

You do realize that you can’t believe EVERYTHING you read on-line.

Wild