Tag Archives: weather

A Plaque of Locusts, Are They Playing Twister?

I have my doubts. I don’t think plaque forms on mandibles, but I could be wrong. I’ve never looked a gift locust in the mouth. Locust could also refer to the tree. I have a very large very old senile locust tree in my back yard. How do I know it’s senile? As long as I’ve lived here {1995} that tree doesn’t bud out or get leaves until like July. And it won’t drop the leaves until January. I have a hard maple in my side yard. I don’t think it’s crazy, but it does have some bad luck. It’s been hit by lightning twice during my time here, and it has a scar from an earlier strike. In July 2009 we had straight line winds that broke three utility poles outside my house {one was across the street}. Both trees made it through that. I didn’t have electricity for 5 days. I made the rounds to the camping stores. And I brought my battery chargers to work. I’ve got some Lilacs too. It’s been cold. They haven’t even budded. The weatherman mentioned one year when we had 6 inches of snow in late April and 100 degree temps one week later. I guess if people are going to blame the messenger he wants to remind them of even weirder weather. I don’t remember which year that was but my lilacs were in bloom and the snow made them get all deformed and strange.

We got lucky this time. No twisters in my part of the state, but southern Iowa did see some.

Things have been getting weird lately. Politics has always been a bit demented in Iowa. We tend to have both extremes. For the Senate we usually elect one of each. They cancel each other out that way. If they do agree on something It’s either going to be really good or really bad. In the 88 election we started getting a lot more media coverage. And the talking heads all seemed surprised at how “Nice” Iowans were. Dave Berry described the state as semi-obscure and Ice encrusted.” That explains why we’re nice. If you kill someone outside your house, or if you don’t save someone passing through your yard, they’ll turn into an icicle until June. And then they start to smell. Much more pleasant to just be nice to people.

The plague of politicians will be descending soon enough. Maybe a twister will pick ’em up and drop a house on them in Kansas. Locusts would be better.

Maybe if we got some Tranny Sisters in a field we could see moss on the complimentary conductor in that semi. It’s a Peterbilt! If that made any sense to you, GET HELP, you’re delusional.

Wild

It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature

Because she will be a bitch and fuck you up. No the last line wasn’t in the commercial. Today {Saturday} was the first day over 70 here. It was 83 according to the thermometer in my vehicle. In other words, HOT. I actually expected that. It’s been so cold for so long here, I knew that we would just skip spring and start summer. What I didn’t figure on was that summer would be one day and then we would skip fall and go back to winter again. I haven’t checked today, but last night they were predicting a chance of snow tonight. WTF! I saw some lightning, but I just ignored it. I’m inside and I’m not like the forest ranger that was struck 7 times. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Sullivan

Speaking of Mother Nature, Dena Dietrich played Mother Nature in the commercials

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiffon_margarine

Sometimes I get nostalgic for the old commercials
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morris_the_Cat

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spuds_MacKenzie

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperial_Margarine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkay

And none of it made in China. Prior to Nixon we really didn’t trade with China.

Wild