Tag Archives: stereotypes

There Will Be A Quiz At The End Of This Post


If you never brush your teeth will you need to worry about your ED?



Now that’s more like it. Boilin’ water kills germs

This is mostly instrumental, but the last 30 sec has lyrics.

Okay, I’ll admit it. I rarely floss. But it would be easier if I could take them out and then floss ’em.

I said there would be a quiz at the end and here it is. The Word quiz, Ain’t I just a cutie.


Deuces Wild, I see your One-Eyed Jack and Raise You a Queen

I follow a few blogs at various, not many, and not as many as I used to. And just because… I don’t think trademarking a common word should be allowed, so I won’t capitalize it and you can’t prove I wasn’t just using a word wit baad grammmur HA!

Okay, I was reading the blog of my friend that I’ve never met and who probably doesn’t like me, and I noticed a rather humorous statement that I simply could NOT let slip by. Paraphrasing what he wrote, he wanted to bed a royal at some point. He would be willing to go down to a Baroness, but he would prefer a Princess or Queen. Now this is on an adult dating site, one that also advertises itself as a swinger site. Get where I’m going? I commented to him that I had complete confidence in his ability to find a Queen there.

He had some other points in his post and I made quips about those too. And this was one of those rare occurrences where he did actually reply to me. But he didn’t reply to the Queen quip. It was said in fun, I’m sure he realizes that. I don’t get the impression that he dislikes me. I think he’s mostly just ambivalent. It is fun to try and get a reaction though. One time he wrote an entire post as a reply to my comments. I commented on that one too.

Time for work, gotta go, maybe I’ll have a hose story to tell.


Oh My It’s Takei not tacky,The Big O, The Story of O, and J

I was perusing around Wiki and Youtube today. Anyone that reads much of what I write has to know I like a good laugh. George Takei has a really good sense of humor. Sometimes it seems like half of the jokes on facebook are credited to his page. He is getting a bit older, as most of us do, so he might be getting grey.

As a preteen I remember looking at some magazines that talked about “The big O”. With the 60’s being the era of “Free Love” and all, you wouldn’t think so many women would be so repressed about their own sexuality. It was a “Hot” topic at the time. These weren’t the nudie mags aimed at men. These were women’s mags, guy mags would have pictures. Sometime after that I read “The Sensuous Woman” again with no pictures! I was a teen by then, some pictures would have helped in my own research of the male orgasm. Still and all it gave me some miniscule insight into what women want. And they all want something different {Hm, I’m about as different as anybody and yet I’m not in demand}. I also read “The Happy Hooker” by Xaviera Hollander. When I started this post I decided to look up when Ms Hollander died. She hasn’t yet. She is 69, how’s that for a coincidence? The author of The Sensuous Woman was listed as J on the cover. All about O by J, not too bad to wake up to I suppose. Notice I did NOT say, “The Story of O”, that is altogether different. Not my cup of tea, but


From approx. 1974-78 Club magazine featured more or less normal pictorials, but some rather extreme writings. I won’t go into details, I don’t want anyone to hurl. That includes hurling objects at my head.

I don’t have a point in bringing these things up. Epee and Snee, one has a point and the other doesn’t. So is it blunt or dull? Are paraphilias less interesting if you use the big words?


Does Aural Sex Lead to Hearing Aids?

I suppose if one likes phone sex it would be a good idea to have an aid in hearing such as a speaker phone or headset, hands free devices you know.

I wonder if the operator checks the caller I.D. to see if they are of age?

When the daughter of one of my coworkers was 18 or 19, she came into the office. She was very busty and proud of them. I heard someone refer to them as “Telephone Tits”. They try to reach out and touch someone. Good Ol’ Ma Bell had a good slogan there.

Maybe you want to send something in a plain brown wrapper to someone.

It amazes me how many of these there are.


Okay, Who wants to Carve The Noodle?

I wrote this blog post in March of 2006. Is that a sign of an out of control ego when you quote yourself? I will add a little something extra at the end too.

I was thinking back to my college days yesterday, and I couldn’t help but remember some culinary “Incidents.”

One summer I detasseled corn, horrible awful job. I was intending to make some bread rolls I could take out to the fields with me for lunch. I ran out of flour, but I noticed that my roommate had a box of Bisquik. I decided to use that for my bread. They ended up looking more or less like uncut hamburger buns. That was okay. I sliced them to use making sandwiches. Then I tasted one. It didn’t taste bad, but it definitely didn’t taste like bread either. It had the texture of bread and the flavor of saltines. What the hell, I put peanut butter on them and took them anyway. At lunch time, I was eating one, and one of the other detasselers asked me what I was eating. I told him peanut butter crackers. I said, “Here try a bite.” I tore off a chunk and gave it to him. He ate it, gave me a very odd look, then moved further away. It cracked me up then too.

Towards the end of my college career, I had a Malaysian roommate. He did most of the cooking, and I learned to love Malaysian food, especially their curries. After he moved out, I tried to cook Malaysian food. I went to the same store he went to. I bought the ingredients I had seen him buy. If I hadn’t been starving in those days, I don’t think I could’ve eaten it. I have since learned to cook a few Chinese dishes, with the help of cookbooks. But I also learned my lesson about trying to imitate ethnic cuisine without a good instructor or good instructions.

My last story was not my screw-up. It’s also one of my favorites. I still, twenty-seven years later, tease the guy who did this. He was another physics major and he liked me from the start. He invited me and two philosophy majors over for a spaghetti dinner. When I arrived, there were peas boiling, a skillet with browned hamburger in it, he was adding sauce from a jar to it. And there was the pot with the pasta in it. It was boiling. He tried to stir it without much success. I looked in the pot. I asked him how he had started it. He said he filled the pot 2/3 full with water, put in the spaghetti, turned on the heat. I asked him, “Was the water boiling when you added the pasta?” He replied, “No, should it have been?” I answered, “Well, unless you prefer your spaghetti this way, I would have waited for it to boil.”

The others arrived. We put the peas in a bowl and served them. We put the meat sauce in a bowl and served it. We drained the pasta, put it on a platter, I carried it in, put it on the table in all it’s glory. The 24 ounce package of spaghetti had fused into one large solid noodle. Heartless SOB that I was, I stated the title of this post.

I wrote that seven years ago and it still makes me chuckle. I’m still heartless too. Reading it now reminds me of a segment from Alton Brown’s show Good Eats, he’s talking about casseroles and he recommends using round pans because square ones will give you dry corners, and he adds “Unless you like dry corners.” That does bring up the subject of individual preferences. If you like it that way it’s not a mistake, or at worst it’s serendipity. I have that reaction to the Food Networks cooks that make dry coleslaw. I like the liquid at the bottom, I don’t want my coleslaw dry.

The Muppet Show has been syndicated in more countries than most other shows. It might actually hold the record. The reason? It’s incredibly easy to dub into different languages. The one character that gets slightly changed more than the others is the Swedish Chef. In Sweden he’s some other nationality.

And in other news Ikea found pork in it’s moose lasagna.

Moose Lasagna?


Joe’s Garage

I mentioned that I was having some tranny trouble, well, they adjusted the belt on the Fan, drained the Tranny Fluid, and the Caddy is back on the course. Dirty Gertie rides again.

That’s an 87 Cadillac with 280K miles on it for the non-pervs. It is running much better, and it was my mom’s car until she quit driving and all of her cars were named Gertie.

For the pervs out there, scrutinize this.

Frank Zappa, Joe’s Garage {three album set, two cd set re-released I think in the 90’s}. Notice, this is Dong Work for Yuda, there aren’t puppets involved. The hollow sounding character is the Central Scrutinizer who narrates all three albums.


What? That wasn’t a mistake we planned it that way. Oh, and ALL ABOARD! NEXT STOP CHICAGO!

If you remember the Carol Burnett Show, you know Harvey Korman would always crack up in scenes with Tim Conway.

Well, there are a couple of guys called Greg and Lou that are a lot of fun to watch. Quite often you have no idea where they’re going for the punch line. Obviously if you already know the line it might be tough to say it with an appropriate expression. Then the director makes you do it over and over until you get it right. This means that the directors and producers have lots of stuff to use for blooper clips.

Change in plan. I’ve tried different ways to get it to link to “Thieves – Outtakes” it just refuses to do it. It links to the first episode. I’ll leave it that way and after the vid it’ll have links to the others. The blooper one is good, but I’m kinda biased.

If you haven’t passed out from laughing, then I have another. I had contemplated naming the post, Edible Shit and other things, but I decided not to. Get your recipe books handy, and no it’s not real shit.

Anytime I hear or read “Bat-shit crazy” my mind immediately jumps to that video.
The last video is not Frank Zappa. It is Dweezil Zappa singing the song his dad wrote.

Interestingly when I started blogging at the other place I used the song title as the title for my post. I was new to social networking, at least the way it works now. I didn’t realize the ins and outs of posting things. I used the title I don’t remember if I posted the lyrics. That post was the first time CoffeeNoCream came to my blog. She owns a coffee shop in Amsterdam. Very interesting person, good sense of humor. Humor is very important to me. Another curious point, my wife came in while I was writing that post. She looked over my shoulder and asked, Are you going to Chicago? No dear that’s just the title of a song. Hope you enjoyed it.

When April Showers …. She Never Closes the Curtain

An old joke immortalized by Spike Jones and it is fitting for April Fool’s Day. And what fools are we. I still enjoy the comics. Get Fuzzy had a series where Satchel confused the Beatles with Russian leaders. He was listening to John Lenin. He asked Rob about Ringo Stalin. The strip Pickles had a Sunday strip with Opal asking her daughter if she had seen her thong. The daughter was shocked, “You have a thong?” “Yes I like to wear them on the beach”. Silvia says, “Mother I don’t know what to say. I’m shocked.” I don’t remember how it’s revealed but Silvia figures out that Opal is talking about flip-flops and shows her a Victoria’s Secret catalog featuring a thong. Calvin and Hobbes has been a favorite for years. In one strip Calvin is wondering why he should have to go to school, Hobbes offers the following aphorism, “Until you can stalk and over-run, you cannot devour anyone.”

Probably the most quoted comic strip line is from Pogo. I’ll quote Wiki quoting Pogo.

Probably the most famous Pogo quotation is “We have met the enemy and he is us.” Perhaps more than any other words written by Kelly, it perfectly sums up his attitude towards the foibles of mankind and the nature of the human condition.

The quote was a parody of a message sent in 1813 from U.S. Navy Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry to Army General William Henry Harrison after his victory in the Battle of Lake Erie, stating, “We have met the enemy, and they are ours.” It first appeared in a lengthier form in “A Word to the Fore”, the foreword of the book The Pogo Papers, first published in 1953. Since the strips reprinted in Papers included the first appearances of Mole and Simple J. Malarkey, beginning Kelly’s attacks on McCarthyism, Kelly used the foreword to defend his actions:
“ Traces of nobility, gentleness and courage persist in all people, do what we will to stamp out the trend. So, too, do those characteristics which are ugly. It is just unfortunate that in the clumsy hands of a cartoonist all traits become ridiculous, leading to a certain amount of self-conscious expostulation and the desire to join battle. There is no need to sally forth, for it remains true that those things which make us human are, curiously enough, always close at hand. Resolve then, that on this very ground, with small flags waving and tinny blasts on tiny trumpets, we shall meet the enemy, and not only may he be ours, he may be us. Forward! ”

—Walt Kelly, June 1953


And that brings up a good point. The other day at work there was gossip going around about a fellow employee having a profile on a swingers site. Juicy gossip huh? The person that told me that bit of gossip told me which site and told me that that person had claimed to be none judgmental. I pointed out that whoever found the profile probably found it by accident while they were perusing the site. I didn’t volunteer that I also have a profile there. I was more forceful than usual in defending a person’s right to do what they want away from the workplace. But I did feel the twinge of hypocrisy. For the most part I enjoy gossip, unless it’s vindictive or mean. If others can laugh at me, I can laugh at them and we all enjoy life a bit more. And I confess, after he told me where her profile was I did look to see if she showed any skin. She did show her face, but she didn’t show her boobs. She has big ones too. I do my best to be non-judgmental. And I do have an open mind about quite a lot. If it doesn’t hurt anybody, and there is consent all around, why should others get bent out of shape about it. I’ve noticed politicians are becoming much more openly accepting of at least certain alternative lifestyles. Some of those aspects have been neglected for far too long. If you designate someone as having durable power of attorney for medical decisions, your choice should be honored. That is not always the case. Even in traditional marriages disputes between a spouse and in-laws can get real nasty, as in Terry Schiavo. If that had been a homosexual couple that had been committed to one another for fifty years, the courts would’ve still sided with the family {even with the presence of a living will and designated power of attorney}. Your ability to make contracts shouldn’t have anything to do with your preferred sexual practices, with the exceptions for illegal activities such as pedophilia and bestiality.

Tall in the saddle? No, it’s just a high horse. Maybe the horse was in Colorado after pot became legal?

I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt there was a cop banging on my front door in the middle of the night. When I opened the door he mistook me for my oldest son and tried to arrest me. He didn’t even believe my drivers license. He thought it was a fake. I really don’t know what triggered the dream, but it was actually similar to what happened to me in 84. The cop came during the day, but he did mistake me for my roommate and I had to show him my DL to prove I wasn’t who they wanted. That was right before the Malaysians moved in.


As Long As It’s Black

Actually that phrase was used to describe Model T Fords. You could buy one any color you wanted, as long as it was black. I don’t know if that entered the vernacular from an ad campaign or just people talking.

Language and imagery do reflect cultural attitudes, the whole idea of using PC expressions came about from derogatory stereotypes. It can be a matter of perception. People tell little white lies, and when they get caught they tell big black ones. Black equals bad? Not to a businessman. They want to be in the black. They like them assets. Would you want a Black and White TV, or a colored one? Pretty much every ethnic group can be described using ethnic slurs. Wops and diegos, and many more that I can’t think were all used perjoratively probably by Archie Bunker. In the days before easy transportation most people lived their entire life less than 2 days walk from where they were born. There were exceptions, Roman Soldiers, Marco Polo, etc. Since they were essentially closed communities family traits became town traits. Then later, town traits would be regional traits. Eventually it amounts to different races. Keep in mind we are still one species. Mixed race kids can turn out fine, breeding between races might create some social problems{mostly from people that can’t stand the idea.}, but biologically it’s fine. There used to be more than one SPECIES of the genus Homo. A Neanderthal man could probably force himself on a Cromagnon woman. But would he want to? Maybe Homo Erectus would be more appealing? Doubtful, IMO. There was an article recently, someone claims to have sequenced the DNA of a Sasquatch. They think some other hominid bred with modern human females 15000 years ago and thus we ended up having Sasquatch running around. Okay, who’s been doing it with the big hairy guy with really big feet?

My point is, I want to figure out how to do some rudimentary links. Rudimentary means I’m rude and a mental case. Here goes,

let’s see if it works.