Tag Archives: stereotypes

Should’ve Shari Lewis Shared Lamb Chops With Cher?

Yes, pork chops would’ve been inappropriate.

I’m tempted to leave it at that.

First time I saw Shari on TV my reaction was WOW what a babe.

First time I saw Cher on TV was on the Sonny and Cher Show. She was drawing interest for her displays of sideboob and bare skin below her navel.

There used to be a big variety of variety shows. Flip Wilson made an entertaining Geraldine.

My title is bugging me. My inner grammar-nazi can’t decide if it’s a split infinitive. “Should Have Shari Shared” or “Should Shari Have Shared”. I should have gone with the imperative “Shari should have shared.”

I’ll have to ruminate on that. I’m not one to say “No Gnus is Good Gnus.”

In the meantime, enjoy the Flip side.

Wild {debeest}

Two Score Years Ago I Was Too Sore To Soar Too.

Okay, maybe not quite forty years ago. Big Science came out in 82. But wouldn’t you be sore?

You would expect me to keep a record of the time? Going down on the Captain might lead to other things.

Well I said they were too sore. Too means excessive. Excessive oral sex leads to sensitivity and Beaver Breath.

Too can also mean also. Too!

And two can mean 2. The number two that is. I’m not talking about scat here. Herr stranger I don’t want to hear about scat. What about the score? What, beaver breath isn’t good enough you want to score too? Or were you talking about the musical score? Laurie had an interesting technique on another song from that album.

It’s interesting for me to watch this video now. I bought the vinyl on the recommendation of a friend not long after it came out. I bought the CD after I bought a CD player in 88. I saw this video for the first time just recently. I didn’t realize she signed on it until then. Learn something new all the time. But you would think Superman would have a cape? Where’s the cape?

Okay, this probably does go back forty years, but I just saw it recently. Superheros don’t {necessarily} wear dresses.

http://itwasneveradress.com/

I saw a personalized license plate at the gas station one day. It said PYTHAGORAS. I said to the guy getting gas, “You must be either a musician or a mathematician.” He replied, “So must you.” He was a musician. I told him to bake sugar cookies into regular polygons and have the kids use frosting to stack them into dodecahedra. You start with stars and chop off Isosceles triangles. That will leave you with pentagons and unhappy children. They might cheer up when they see how much frosting/chocolate is needed to stick the sides together. Then you tell them that Euclid’s Elements is actually a dessert cookbook.

You do realize that you can’t believe EVERYTHING you read on-line.

Wild

Reality? I thought you said Realtor

Neurotics build castles in the sky.

Psychotics move in.

Counselors charge rent.

Psychiatrists cite building codes and condemn.

Dr House becomes your roommate.

It goes downhill from there.

I like Hugh Laurie. I like his character Dr House. I even like Cut-throat Bitch. And Wilson, I like Wilson. Actually I’m rather amiable. I like almost everyone. So what is the point? The point of what? What do you want from me? Isn’t that the story of life? What do you want from me? Affection and acceptance are all I have to offer. Is that enough? Am I being too ambiguous? There is gender ambiguity, is there reality ambiguity? James Burke made a telecourse called “The Day the Universe Changed.” If your version of reality changes, your entire universe changes.

Current political opinions would seem to suggest a multiverse with several entirely different realities.

That could be optimistic or pessimistic. Dr Pangloss would say it is the best of all possible worlds. What say you?

Wild

Immortality, Immorality with a Spot of Tea

In a thousand years who is going to know who you were? If you’re from Iceland they might all know. They’re good at keeping track of things like that. What was going on a 1000 years ago? Not the Magna Carta, not the Battle of Hastings {almost though}, the Icelandic Sagas?, Yes! They were going on.

Who gets remembered and how? Usually the despots and tyrants get remembered more than the furniture makers, stone masons, or bureaucrats. Tales of immorality get passed on. The young are taught from lots of sources, “See, that’s why you don’t do that!” What really amazes me are those people who try to convince their kids that they were angels. If you tell the kid, “I never did that. I was a good kid.” do you really think that will be more convincing than “Boy I really fucked up when I did that.”

The age of innocence was not a time for society. It was and is a time when the individual doesn’t know any better. Personality types really haven’t changed in a very long time. I really hated the show “Welcome Back Kotter”, but the theme song had a line, “Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they’re turned around.

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/welcomebackkotterlyrics.html

Okay, that was weird. I guess even referencing it can be annoying. I’ll let it be annoying.

Perspective changes things. Art often reflects life.

Pay attention to those lyrics! Cigarette trees! Bums don’t need money! Cops have wooden legs! Is that their idea of role models!!!

What is this song about? Euphemisms and allegory might as well be another language in this racially sensitive and PC environment.

It wasn’t just the Depression era. Some real good lessons here too. Remember when nobody locked their doors? He mentions that. Of course he is willing to work for his rent and smoke the stogies he finds.

Thing is, young whippersnappers today don’t know how nice they have it. And they’ve lost all sense of decency. The even had hearings on it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parents_Music_Resource_Center

Well, they had one hearing. You ever wonder why slang changes? Maybe it’s to slip a few naughty references past the old fogies. Some slang doesn’t change much, and it’s meaning is usually pretty clear.

You ever had the hots for someone that’s been dead for a couple of hundred years? Kinda gross, they’d be all rotted away and mostly just bones. It’s just not very enticing to me. Time travel would be a different matter. Would you go back in time and fuck yourself? Would that be masturbation?

I’d better end this before I write something that might have a point.

Wild

Succotash and Hash, A Love Story

Succotash, lima beans and corn, does anybody actually LIKE lima beans? After my mom died I found some very unusual frozen dinners. These were factory made and not simply some weird concoction she made. I might add weirdness runs in families and it has caught up to some of us. Lima Beans, rutabagas, and meatloaf were in some. Others had kohlrabi, corn, and chicken. I knew what those veggies were. How many people would know what those are? There was no obvious brand name, but they had that thin plastic seal with a freshness date. I don’t like succotash. I don’t like Lima beans. I’ll eat any food. Those are just quite bland, and I prefer foods that have some sort of flavor. Tofu can be quite bland but not if you add it to very spicy stuff.

Hash. Unless you are talking about psychoactive foods hash falls into the category of olio. Irish stew, shepherd’s pie, chop suey, and hash were ways of dealing with leftovers. Beef Stroganoff was leftover onion soup with beef, sour cream, and thickener. Hash was fried leftover meat and potatoes, good stuff.

Suck O’tash could be a display of affection for someone with facial hair. Perhaps they were giving mustache rides and wanted to share the flavor. They might indicate this through a “Hash” tag.

Stay with me, this gets complicated.

I’m a big fan of GregandLou.com. Some of their early work included a set of videos about “MILF Solicitors”. Hilarious, loved it. In the first one, Jax is wearing a t-shirt offering mustache rides. Just remember that, I’ll get back to that point. Maybe not, I’ll just put the vid here.

They’ve made a Christmas vid most years. I don’t remember them doing “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” Why would I mention what they didn’t do? I’ll get back to that also. But, in the meantime I will tell you just how weird I was as a child. Whenever they got to the line, “I threw up the sash”, my child’s mind didn’t consider window construction. To me “Threw up the sash” seemed like it would mean vomiting some hybrid succotash/hash recipe. In my mind I said “Good, it sounds terrible! It should be thrown up!”

They also made a kind of strange artsy film. At first it really didn’t sink in what they were doing. Then it did.

Now you can forget everything I’ve told you.

wild

Unbridled Bridal Corporatism

For starters, I was wrong. In my own chauvinistic way I was going to link bridle and bridal because I would have guessed that they have the same origin. Not according to the dictionaries I checked.

Are corporations people? I don’t get the warm fuzzies for any of them, but I haven’t started, founded, or given birth to any. Does that make getting fired like a divorce? I want half the assets then. What about mergers and acquisitions?

Is money speech? Yes. Emphatically yes, because money pays for advertising, travel, food, lodging, and anything and everything you need to give speeches. Without money you will have a hard time letting people hear your message. Without money how would you offer an option to an idea you disagree with? A total absence of money is going to severely impact the spread of any idea. What about Godly ideas? Do you donate to missions? Churches?

Revisit corporatism, morph into corporealism. Corporate has it’s origins in the body like corpus. It’s not ethereal. People need to stop sniffing the ether. Then they might notice that there are other people too. I read a book review yesterday that was AWESOME. I have not read the book. If I get a copy it will be very high on my “To read” list. The problem people get into when discussing divisive politics is failing to recognize the elements of humanity and truth in their opponents position. http://theweek.com/article/index/269549/what-conservatives-must-learn-from-socialists
Obviously the converse of the title would be true as well.

Bridal – More Ale {? sounds reasonable} http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bridal

Bridle – http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/bridle

That one talks about grooms as well.

Tangentally
Wild

We Should Be Statesmen

What does it mean to be an American? Would you ask that of Canadians, Mexicans, Peruvians, or Argentinians? They are American also. North and South America are America too. We are the United States of America. Since we share the name American shouldn’t we be Statesmen? Linguistically I think it makes sense. Calling our citizenry Statesmen would be setting the bar high. I don’t think the politicians and talking heads would agree.

http://foxnewsinsider.com/2014/07/01/pew-44-not-proud-be-american

I usually try to be light-hearted with some word play. To be politic used to mean to be tactful, political correctness is less kindly viewed now so I’ll throw in a Non Sequitur.

http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2014/07/14#.U8YVaUD5cUw

Do you live in the past? I used to.
Wild

It? It!?! IT!!! My Baby isn’t an IT!!!!

A quote from Jerome Klapka Jerome around 1890 to 1900. At that time he was lamenting the predicament a young man can find himself in when presented with a young mother and child. At that time they dressed babies, ALL babies, in white. There was no convention about blue and pink. He advised young men to NEVER refer to the child as it. If he calls the little boy her or calls the little girl him, the mother and accompanying women will simply smile at him as if he is an imbecile. If he should absently call the child it, fury from said women will be unleashed.

About ten years ago the wife of my coworker Dave had a baby. One night wife and child visited our breakroom so the ladies in the office could see the baby. A former coworker {she later quit, thankfully} was on break at the same time. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman with less maternal urges. She was visibly annoyed when the crowd started piling up. I happened to glance her way and saw her scowling. An “If looks could kill” type of scowl. No one else noticed. It amused me. Actually it amused me that she was basically always pissed off. And it was very easy to really get on her nerves. After she stopped talking to me I used to make it a point to walk by her and say Hi. She would never respond, and after a while stopped making eye contact. I was telling one of my other coworkers about it, and he gave me some advice that I started heeding. He pointed out that if she ever flipped out and started shooting, I might be high up on the list from those Hi’s.

I hear they might make a “Goonies II”. The one guy was described as an it. He was a good it though.

When I think of Tony Randall I think of Felix Ungar. I’m sure a lot of other people do too. I could compare and contrast the Greatest American Hero, and the Meadow Party’s presidential candidate. The first is William Catt, the second is Bill the Cat. When I moved to what basically amounted to a small farm in 1981 there was a cat that wandered in from the fields. It bore an uncanny resemblance to Bloom County’s Bill the Cat {thank you Berkeley Breathed}. It was orange and black, sort of, it had mange or something that caused a significant amount of fur loss. It was very friendly. It would wander by linger for a half hour or so then go back into the fields. While it was hanging around it would go from person to person and rub his neck on your lower leg. Then he would put his nose in the cuff and blow big wads of snot all over your pant legs. He was very friendly, but the world was his handkerchief. William Catt also made a movie called “House”. I enjoyed the movie, and I was expecting to watch it the first time I watched the show called “House” about the doctor.

Now for Mr. Throatwarbler-Mangrove pronounced “Smith”. That was Monty Python, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition you know. The was also a sketch about Mr. Smoketoomuch. He enters the outer office and the receptionist, {played by the very busty Carol Cleveland} greets him by asking, “Are you here to book a holiday or did you want a blowjob?” They changed that line for American TV audiences. They didn’t think we could handle a blowjob.

Gotta love that Brit sense of humor. Jerome K Jerome’s writing style was similar to James Thurber’s. I don’t know if Thurber read J’s books or not. I was introduced to “Three Men In A Boat” thanks to Robert Graves. I watched Masterpiece Theatre’s “I, Claudius” back in the 70’s. I really enjoyed that. I decided to read the book. That was really good. I started reading all of Robert Graves’ books. Then I read “The Antigua Stamp”. Hated it. It pissed me off. Neither of the main characters was particularly likable. But when choosing between a malicious bumbling idiot and a malicious evil genius I have a modicum of more sympathy for the former. As a Southern friend of mine would say, “Bless his heart, he just don’t know any better.” It would seem Mr Graves disagrees with me. And he made fun of “Three Men In A Boat.” That was all the incentive I needed to read that book. It was hilarious. And not all that dated for being that old. It just goes to show that people are people regardless of their location in the space time continuum.

Plato had some unusual ideas about reality. The world we see is an imperfect image of the ideal. The ideal is the reality in a metaphysical bizarre sense. That would seem to make Platonic relationships even weirder. If it’s Platonic it’s strictly intellectual not sexual. That doesn’t really seem to follow. And it would make Plato’s Retreat positively boring if no one had sex. I wonder if they have Glory Holes there. Glory Glory Hallelujah, The Lord Has Cum. I know. I’m going to Hell for that one. Gotta find a Holy Man.

Wild

Polemic – Pole Him Ick, Politician Wants Man Date

Sounds dreadful. You know if you give the politician a mandate, he will want to screw the public. He’ll expect it. It’s what you do on a man date.

Whatever your political stripes, that probably is how you perceive the people that disagree with you. I could’ve trashed elected officials. Would you REALLY want me to talk about the In Cum Bunts? I suppose there must be some baseball analogy, but how often do you get a home run from a bunt?

I wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot pole. Do I even HAVE a ten foot pole, you ask. No, I do not. At one point I had a nine foot pole, but someone stole it. I could get angry about that and deliver a Pole mimic. Lech Walesa comes to mind. He’s a real Pole, not a Pole Mimic. He’s isn’t tremendously tall either.

I don’t think Vladimir Putin is very tall either. His name would be easy to make fun of, I could Put In a joke, but I think I’ll use a video instead. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV4IjHz2yIo

I was just thinking about my rocket science post a few days ago. This video is physics, but it’s fun.

Wild

Ed Gruberman, Approach That You May Learn

I have an acquaintance that used to teach martial arts. He’s a big guy. He really isn’t like the instructor on this clip. Tranquil and serene do not describe him. He has a fierce temper. It’s getting better, but he’s getting older. Several years ago a horse stepped on him and broke his pelvis. That’s when he stopped teaching.

I wonder how many Ed Grubermans there are out there. People that feel the need to be able to inflict serious hurt on others either with or without weapons. The History Channel had a series called Wild West Tech. It was mentioned on various episodes that gunfights often were asshole against asshole. Pleasant happy go lucky people were usually able to avoid those fights. And then there’s the BTK killer from Wichita. He killed quite a few people, but stopped killing after he became a code enforcement officer. My theory on that is that when he was able to be a real prick as part of his work, he no longer felt the urge to kill. Some documentaries say that serial killers tend to feel like they have no control over things that happen in their life. To get control they kill people.

I’ve also been watching Dexter on Netflix. Dex doesn’t fit that pattern but his victims sure do. And he’s a likeable serial killer. Barnabas Collins and Nick Knight were likeable vampires too.

Control issues, quote Alexander Haig, “I’m in charge.”

Just ramblin wild