Tag Archives: fitting in

A Scuzzy MFM, Drivin’ Hard

That means different things to different people.

I’M A REALLY DIFFERENT PERSON.

If you’re old enough and geeky enough, you might think I’m talking about ancient history as it pertains to PCs. MFM was a type of computer hard drive. I think they topped out about 33MEG, at least that was the most that DOS3.3 and older would support. Scuzzy was the homophone of SCSI, and was a type of hard drive that could be daisy chained together.

Yeah.

REALLY

Would you use the homophone of a scuzzy MFM daisy chain? Wrong number? Does the language trigger thoughts of a kinky cell phone call with sticky buttons? Maybe butt dialing phone sex?

Can you hear me now?

Which is worse, when people stare because you’re different, or when people avoid looking at you because you’re really different?

I really don’t know what triggered this post, and it was tough to find some kind of link to add. This will do. There’s some dialog after the song.

Wild

That’s The Last Straw!

Actually it isn’t the last straw, I have another package in the cupboard. It was the last of the longer straws though. I prefer the shorter ones. First of all, if you’re drinking a carbonated beverage the bubbles will accumulate between sips and cause the straw to float. If the straw is long, it becomes top heavy and falls out of the glass. If the glass is short the straw sticks up to a point where it becomes easy to accidentally bump or catch it. One time I was in the student union talking to a friend during lunch. My sleeve snagged the straw pulling my cup over spilling my drink. In an effort to avoid the spill I pushed my chair back. It didn’t slide, it pivoted. As the chair was going over backward, I did the natural normal thing. I kicked my legs out for balance. Unfortunately, I kicked the table. It went over the other way spilling the rest of the stuff on my friend. We decided to leave since everyone was staring at us.

I doubt that everyone was staring. It was probably only the people nearest us. Whenever you do something really undignified it just feels like everybody is watching. The trick is to take a bow with a flourish to indicate that you like the attention. That’s the surest way to be ignored. Doubly so if you hold out a hat.

I had Malaysian roommates in college, but I spent a good deal of my free time with artists and philosophers.

This song takes me back to 1982. The best year of my life. They remind me of the people I used to hang and drink with. A lot of bad happened that year, but the good outweighed it.

Forever Wild

M’AIDEZ!!! M’AIDEZ!!!

That’s the French for Help Me, Help Me. Anglicized that’s Mayday, Mayday. And then there is May 1st. Sometimes that is the last day of winter. Actually I was told that there is a chance of snow flurries tomorrow night. It won’t amount to anything and it was 83 today. I went out and shoveled sand. Not my favorite activity. The sand accumulates where we had snow piles. When the snow piles are all melted then we have to clean up the sand. I was shoveling it by hand because it was still too wet for the street sweeper and it tends to stick hard when it dries. Our street sweeper is small and the seat does not adjust. It doesn’t come with a seatbelt either, but I think it tops out about 20. I used to drive it quite a bit, not lately though. I don’t fit COMFORTABLY in it. I can squeeze in but it’s rather claustrophobic. There are certain rituals associated with May 1st. It’s supposed to be a good day for an orgy. Of course it is, is there a BAD day for an orgy {yeah wedding anniversary isn’t cool}. And then there is that custom of girls dancing around the Priapus Rex with ribbons. Yep, dancing to ABBA’s Voulez-Vous coucher avec moi ce soir? I like ABBA but really, c’mon. Voulez-vous? That’s either rather formal for asking someone to sleep with you, or you’re asking a group to. To go to bed alone is reflexive, se coucher. Non reflexive is going to bed not alone.

I think you dear reader lucked out. I had planned on sharing more Army stories, and some amusing puke anecdotes. Well I think there is such a thing. When talking to oneself do you have reasoned well informed exchanges of ideas, or do you just argue with the A-hole? Dr House was having reasoned well thought out conversations with the hallucination of cut-throat Bitch. He even donned a blue tooth so others wouldn’t catch on. I’m pretty worn out from shoveling so I think I’ll head for bed.

I forget exactly how Kryten described his “Double Poloroid”. So I’ll leave you something totally inane.

Wild

Joe’s Garage

I mentioned that I was having some tranny trouble, well, they adjusted the belt on the Fan, drained the Tranny Fluid, and the Caddy is back on the course. Dirty Gertie rides again.

That’s an 87 Cadillac with 280K miles on it for the non-pervs. It is running much better, and it was my mom’s car until she quit driving and all of her cars were named Gertie.

For the pervs out there, scrutinize this.

Frank Zappa, Joe’s Garage {three album set, two cd set re-released I think in the 90’s}. Notice, this is Dong Work for Yuda, there aren’t puppets involved. The hollow sounding character is the Central Scrutinizer who narrates all three albums.

Wild

When April Showers …. She Never Closes the Curtain

An old joke immortalized by Spike Jones and it is fitting for April Fool’s Day. And what fools are we. I still enjoy the comics. Get Fuzzy had a series where Satchel confused the Beatles with Russian leaders. He was listening to John Lenin. He asked Rob about Ringo Stalin. The strip Pickles had a Sunday strip with Opal asking her daughter if she had seen her thong. The daughter was shocked, “You have a thong?” “Yes I like to wear them on the beach”. Silvia says, “Mother I don’t know what to say. I’m shocked.” I don’t remember how it’s revealed but Silvia figures out that Opal is talking about flip-flops and shows her a Victoria’s Secret catalog featuring a thong. Calvin and Hobbes has been a favorite for years. In one strip Calvin is wondering why he should have to go to school, Hobbes offers the following aphorism, “Until you can stalk and over-run, you cannot devour anyone.”

Probably the most quoted comic strip line is from Pogo. I’ll quote Wiki quoting Pogo.

Probably the most famous Pogo quotation is “We have met the enemy and he is us.” Perhaps more than any other words written by Kelly, it perfectly sums up his attitude towards the foibles of mankind and the nature of the human condition.

The quote was a parody of a message sent in 1813 from U.S. Navy Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry to Army General William Henry Harrison after his victory in the Battle of Lake Erie, stating, “We have met the enemy, and they are ours.” It first appeared in a lengthier form in “A Word to the Fore”, the foreword of the book The Pogo Papers, first published in 1953. Since the strips reprinted in Papers included the first appearances of Mole and Simple J. Malarkey, beginning Kelly’s attacks on McCarthyism, Kelly used the foreword to defend his actions:
“ Traces of nobility, gentleness and courage persist in all people, do what we will to stamp out the trend. So, too, do those characteristics which are ugly. It is just unfortunate that in the clumsy hands of a cartoonist all traits become ridiculous, leading to a certain amount of self-conscious expostulation and the desire to join battle. There is no need to sally forth, for it remains true that those things which make us human are, curiously enough, always close at hand. Resolve then, that on this very ground, with small flags waving and tinny blasts on tiny trumpets, we shall meet the enemy, and not only may he be ours, he may be us. Forward! ”

—Walt Kelly, June 1953

END QUOTE

And that brings up a good point. The other day at work there was gossip going around about a fellow employee having a profile on a swingers site. Juicy gossip huh? The person that told me that bit of gossip told me which site and told me that that person had claimed to be none judgmental. I pointed out that whoever found the profile probably found it by accident while they were perusing the site. I didn’t volunteer that I also have a profile there. I was more forceful than usual in defending a person’s right to do what they want away from the workplace. But I did feel the twinge of hypocrisy. For the most part I enjoy gossip, unless it’s vindictive or mean. If others can laugh at me, I can laugh at them and we all enjoy life a bit more. And I confess, after he told me where her profile was I did look to see if she showed any skin. She did show her face, but she didn’t show her boobs. She has big ones too. I do my best to be non-judgmental. And I do have an open mind about quite a lot. If it doesn’t hurt anybody, and there is consent all around, why should others get bent out of shape about it. I’ve noticed politicians are becoming much more openly accepting of at least certain alternative lifestyles. Some of those aspects have been neglected for far too long. If you designate someone as having durable power of attorney for medical decisions, your choice should be honored. That is not always the case. Even in traditional marriages disputes between a spouse and in-laws can get real nasty, as in Terry Schiavo. If that had been a homosexual couple that had been committed to one another for fifty years, the courts would’ve still sided with the family {even with the presence of a living will and designated power of attorney}. Your ability to make contracts shouldn’t have anything to do with your preferred sexual practices, with the exceptions for illegal activities such as pedophilia and bestiality.

Tall in the saddle? No, it’s just a high horse. Maybe the horse was in Colorado after pot became legal?

I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt there was a cop banging on my front door in the middle of the night. When I opened the door he mistook me for my oldest son and tried to arrest me. He didn’t even believe my drivers license. He thought it was a fake. I really don’t know what triggered the dream, but it was actually similar to what happened to me in 84. The cop came during the day, but he did mistake me for my roommate and I had to show him my DL to prove I wasn’t who they wanted. That was right before the Malaysians moved in.

Wild

THWACK! Thank You Sir! May I Have Another?

What motivates a person, a carrot? a stick?
Well I’ve seen a tagline that said anything that doesn’t kill me just makes me stronger. A stick does motivate people. Probably always has, I remember a Bugs Bunny toon where Sam and Bugs are running for mayor. At one point Bugs sports the small glasses, buck teeth, and mustache of TR. He says “I speak softly and carry a biiig stick!” Sam runs up says, “Well I speak loud and carry a bigger stick! And I use it too!” and he bops Bugs on the head. The last election brings up carrot and stick strategies. The GOP seems to favor a stick approach to getting people off welfare. Cut ’em off and they’ll go out and get work. And they favor a carrot approach to encouraging businesses, yeah lets get rid of those pesky regulations and taxes.

I consider myself a Liberal. That doesn’t mean that I think government is utopian. It means that the cost of doing business is not always immediately obvious. You like those countries with low or no corporate tax? I hope you like paying for it in graft. If you’re using lots of irrigation water, do you compensate the people downstream that no longer have that water to drink? If you own a power plant or factory and release pollutants how do you assess downstream damages? You want cheap pork so you open a confinement operation. Do you live downwind of it? If the owners had to live next to their operations, they might decide to clean them up a bit. Personally I think making the top execs live there would be a more effective environmental law. You foul the air, you breathe it. You foul the water, you drink it. Camels know it, the eye of the needle sees it, the love of money is the root of evil. Certainly people should be rewarded for their inventiveness, perseverance, and work ethic. Now think for a minute. If you won a large Powerball jackpot and had millions of dollars. You would not have to work at a job somewhere {particularly a Mcjob}. But that doesn’t mean you would plop in front of a TV and veg until you were dead. You would probably do something that you like to do, something you want to do, whether you make any money at it or not. I’ve never been wealthy, but I did get a Governor’s Volunteer Award in 88 for my work recording books on audio tapes. So at what point is a person wealthy enough? At what point should a person feel, I’ve got enough, the extra can go towards helping people. On the History channel they had a program called “Secret Passages”. On one segment they talked about a wealthy industrialist who felt bad for the locals that wanted to work but couldn’t find jobs. So he hired anybody that wanted to work and had them dig tunnels. In one sense useless, meaningless work, because there was no reason for the tunnels. On the other hand, he helped employ the locals. He spread the wealth around benefiting many. I think it’s a positive story, not a story of waste. Yet if the government tries to redistribute wealth in the exact same way, some would call it waste, some would probably even call it evil.

Self made millionaire? You were raised by wolves then? No, you’d have to give the wolves some credit for taking care of you when you were too young to care for yourself. There are most definitely skills involved in selling yourself, or in selling anything. Knowledge is power, and an awful lot of it comes from others. Look at language. Should you be able to tell what race a person is by talking to them on the phone? How you talk comes from others. You probably didn’t invent your own language and then teach it to your parents/relatives. First impressions do count in job interviews.

I’ll get off my soapbox now, I need some more soap anyway.

Wild