Tag Archives: comics

Should’ve Shari Lewis Shared Lamb Chops With Cher?

Yes, pork chops would’ve been inappropriate.

I’m tempted to leave it at that.

First time I saw Shari on TV my reaction was WOW what a babe.

First time I saw Cher on TV was on the Sonny and Cher Show. She was drawing interest for her displays of sideboob and bare skin below her navel.

There used to be a big variety of variety shows. Flip Wilson made an entertaining Geraldine.

My title is bugging me. My inner grammar-nazi can’t decide if it’s a split infinitive. “Should Have Shari Shared” or “Should Shari Have Shared”. I should have gone with the imperative “Shari should have shared.”

I’ll have to ruminate on that. I’m not one to say “No Gnus is Good Gnus.”

In the meantime, enjoy the Flip side.

Wild {debeest}

Life, A Movement in C Flat

There are lots of ways to look at life. One could consider life to be the intermission between conception and death. The after-life and the before-life merely being separated by the annoying bit in the middle. Eternity first, then the finite part, then eternity again, sounds like a plan. Lots of assumptions in that plan though. Does the spirit or soul exist prior to conception? Is there a before-life? That’s usually the question about the after-life, and it is usually answered by, I’ll find out after I die. Does that same answer work for the before-life? In the comic strip “Non Sequitor” the answer is yes. If a before-life exists, then we have already been there and done that. We just can’t remember it. I have no memory of being born either, but I do have confidence in the people that tell me they remember my being born. My mother was adamant about my having been born. I also suspect that I currently exist. Proof is subjective, just ask Rene Descartes. He thought he existed too.

When an action is completed it can be said to be executed. He executed a U-turn on the highway against traffic. That’s a proper sentence even if the action described is not proper. If you do not complete the action it is not executed. He attempted a U-turn but failed to execute it. I suppose that would be a stay of execution. It is an interesting concept. Stopping an execution is a stay. Well they are going to stay around then right. Yes but will they wear corsets? Those also have stays. Perhaps it would be ironic to ask to be executed in a corset. Then if you received a stay of execution you might continue to exist or you might choke on a whale bone. If you stay in existence, then life would merely be the stay of the act of dying. Stick around, it might get better.

Well what about the after-life then? When’s that? When can a person cease to be alive? We might need to get back to those assumptions. A body can be kept on life support for a long time. If you decide life begins at conception, ie, a single cell with a unique set of DNA, you could also say that it continues as long as that DNA sequence continues to replicate. Henrietta Lacks would still be considered alive. Some would say she died in the 50’s, but not according to her cells. Gary Gilmore might still be alive too. He was shot by a firing squad because he wanted to be an organ donor. That was a while ago, but who knows his blood might still be flowing. The quality of life experienced by one’s cells might not be up to some peoples’ standards, but who judges the quality of life? Consider the beginning again, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gastrulation
Well that’s pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. You know, sea turtles just bury the eggs in the sand and leave. Hardly a good example of matronly care. If a human did that they would be charged with infanticide. And I don’t know of any people that actually had to rely solely on their own abilities without ever receiving any help. I will grant that gastrulation is a persons most impressive act as an individual. After that you need some help.

So, IS LIFE A MOVEMENT IN C FLAT?

No.

That is a Brit looking for a new residence.

Wild

Real Life is so Annoying,

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. It’s been a month according to the date on my last post. I’ve posted about various things on Facebook in that time. Real life intrudes and doesn’t leave a lot of time for fooling around. Pity, I really like fooling around. Somehow or other I found this article while reading FB friends. http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-hilarious-things-i-learned-about-orgies-by-going-to-one_p2/?wa_user1=4&wa_user2=Sex&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=feature_module

Actually that is page two of the article, so what it still works. I have made it to the other place to read Furbal’s blog there.

Work is one of those annoyances I have to deal with at least until I can retire. They’ve fired several people lately. Mostly temps but a couple of career people too. That’s very unusual. I could expound on that but you might think I work in the looney bin. You wouldn’t be far off.

One of my bookmark folders is “Blog Subjects.” I need to delete subjects I’ve already wrote about, but the list keeps growing and growing.

http://www.ohgizmo.com/2009/01/12/toilet-seat-scale-tells-you-how-much-weight-is-lost-after-you-take-a-dump/

Wow, where do you go after that? Maybe Greg and Lou have an idea? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDABsomwj3c

It’s Greg’s B-day today. I’ll have to drop him a line.

Wild

Want Some Pi? Squaresville Man

Word play, puns, all that would be missing if we were telepathic. Jokes don’t often translate well under the best of conditions. And if you have to explain it, well, is it really worth the trouble. The Dalai Lama visited Cedar Falls Iowa either last year or the year before. A reporter thought he’d be really clever and asked him, “If you order a pizza would it be one with everything?” The joke works in English, it’s just painful if it takes 10 minutes to explain it. Although I would’ve expected him to have heard that joke at some point in time.

Your past can haunt you. The history of squares is a mixed bag, can you dig it? Square deals, we’re square, eat a square meal, those are good.

Calling someone a square is bad? Hank Hill wouldn’t agree, but such is the life of cartoons. Tangents to a circle form right angles and as such are square. Maybe the idea of a square meal started with a pizza. Pythagoras regarded squaring a circle in religious terms. Revealing irrational numbers was heresy, and they didn’t know of any regular solids bigger than a dodecahedron. Eat more fiber. The 3,4,5 right triangle was probably the ancients easiest way of making a square. Their cartoons weren’t moving.

I sometimes save drafts with cryptic notes to remind me of post ideas. This is one such post. I had noted meals, deals, hair. What was I thinking, square hair? That’s why it was a cryptic note, crypts can be nasty smelly places. Being buried doesn’t sound like a lot of fun either. Maybe I was thinking about someone with long hair getting a crew cut. There was an episode of Room 222 like that. My sister liked that show, I only watched it when she got her way.

We had one film in math class.

Gotta like them square roots. I think that was why I had hair down. I was going to make some remark about dying one’s hair and having different colored roots, ie square roots. I guess I let my hair down by forgetting that joke. See what I mean by painful explanations?

Wild

When April Showers …. She Never Closes the Curtain

An old joke immortalized by Spike Jones and it is fitting for April Fool’s Day. And what fools are we. I still enjoy the comics. Get Fuzzy had a series where Satchel confused the Beatles with Russian leaders. He was listening to John Lenin. He asked Rob about Ringo Stalin. The strip Pickles had a Sunday strip with Opal asking her daughter if she had seen her thong. The daughter was shocked, “You have a thong?” “Yes I like to wear them on the beach”. Silvia says, “Mother I don’t know what to say. I’m shocked.” I don’t remember how it’s revealed but Silvia figures out that Opal is talking about flip-flops and shows her a Victoria’s Secret catalog featuring a thong. Calvin and Hobbes has been a favorite for years. In one strip Calvin is wondering why he should have to go to school, Hobbes offers the following aphorism, “Until you can stalk and over-run, you cannot devour anyone.”

Probably the most quoted comic strip line is from Pogo. I’ll quote Wiki quoting Pogo.

Probably the most famous Pogo quotation is “We have met the enemy and he is us.” Perhaps more than any other words written by Kelly, it perfectly sums up his attitude towards the foibles of mankind and the nature of the human condition.

The quote was a parody of a message sent in 1813 from U.S. Navy Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry to Army General William Henry Harrison after his victory in the Battle of Lake Erie, stating, “We have met the enemy, and they are ours.” It first appeared in a lengthier form in “A Word to the Fore”, the foreword of the book The Pogo Papers, first published in 1953. Since the strips reprinted in Papers included the first appearances of Mole and Simple J. Malarkey, beginning Kelly’s attacks on McCarthyism, Kelly used the foreword to defend his actions:
β€œ Traces of nobility, gentleness and courage persist in all people, do what we will to stamp out the trend. So, too, do those characteristics which are ugly. It is just unfortunate that in the clumsy hands of a cartoonist all traits become ridiculous, leading to a certain amount of self-conscious expostulation and the desire to join battle. There is no need to sally forth, for it remains true that those things which make us human are, curiously enough, always close at hand. Resolve then, that on this very ground, with small flags waving and tinny blasts on tiny trumpets, we shall meet the enemy, and not only may he be ours, he may be us. Forward! ”

β€”Walt Kelly, June 1953

END QUOTE

And that brings up a good point. The other day at work there was gossip going around about a fellow employee having a profile on a swingers site. Juicy gossip huh? The person that told me that bit of gossip told me which site and told me that that person had claimed to be none judgmental. I pointed out that whoever found the profile probably found it by accident while they were perusing the site. I didn’t volunteer that I also have a profile there. I was more forceful than usual in defending a person’s right to do what they want away from the workplace. But I did feel the twinge of hypocrisy. For the most part I enjoy gossip, unless it’s vindictive or mean. If others can laugh at me, I can laugh at them and we all enjoy life a bit more. And I confess, after he told me where her profile was I did look to see if she showed any skin. She did show her face, but she didn’t show her boobs. She has big ones too. I do my best to be non-judgmental. And I do have an open mind about quite a lot. If it doesn’t hurt anybody, and there is consent all around, why should others get bent out of shape about it. I’ve noticed politicians are becoming much more openly accepting of at least certain alternative lifestyles. Some of those aspects have been neglected for far too long. If you designate someone as having durable power of attorney for medical decisions, your choice should be honored. That is not always the case. Even in traditional marriages disputes between a spouse and in-laws can get real nasty, as in Terry Schiavo. If that had been a homosexual couple that had been committed to one another for fifty years, the courts would’ve still sided with the family {even with the presence of a living will and designated power of attorney}. Your ability to make contracts shouldn’t have anything to do with your preferred sexual practices, with the exceptions for illegal activities such as pedophilia and bestiality.

Tall in the saddle? No, it’s just a high horse. Maybe the horse was in Colorado after pot became legal?

I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt there was a cop banging on my front door in the middle of the night. When I opened the door he mistook me for my oldest son and tried to arrest me. He didn’t even believe my drivers license. He thought it was a fake. I really don’t know what triggered the dream, but it was actually similar to what happened to me in 84. The cop came during the day, but he did mistake me for my roommate and I had to show him my DL to prove I wasn’t who they wanted. That was right before the Malaysians moved in.

Wild

Tranny Trouble, It may be terminal, Big Dog Siriusly

My car is acting strange. It might be tranny trouble. My mom named all of her cars “Gertie” I don’t know why. I don’t recall ever seeing a Gertrude in the family tree/bush. But this was her car before mine. I tend to think of it as a male. Maybe that’s the problem. It wants to be “Dirty Gertie”. I suppose I’ll have to pull on the dipstick and see how the tranny fluid is. I’ll be getting a new tire for it in the afternoon. I’ll look on line to see what kind of lube my tranny likes. If there’s time I need to renew my DL too. You get 60 days to renew, I’m about half way there.

Big dog Siriusly? Sirius is in Canis Major, big dog.

In one sense we’re all terminal, this toon says it all.

http://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2013/03/18

Wild

Spoiler Alert — Zymurgy

I don’t read nearly as much as I used to. I was a bit odd in my reading choices too. I never seem to be even about such things. When I took two humanities courses in college I had already read most of the books. I found that stuff interesting. The names were challenging though. And there have been movies made based on several of those books. The Iliad and Odyssey were adventure stories. Anna Karenina, Crime and Punishment, Moby Dick, all good books, and supposedly they burn at Farenheit451. Unusual pathways develop in the brain though. Now when I think of Moby Dick I get a mental picture of one of Furball’s cab customers in a porno. Maybe Menelaus gets Helen in that porno, the name sounds like it. Did Orestes get arrested? Did Tolstoi tell a story? If you get an abridged version of the Iliad, do they scrub the part about Ajax? You can get Trojans at the drug store, where do you get Achaeans? I never made it through Don Quixote. For me it was like read 100 pages, laugh hysterically at the next five, read 100 pages, laugh hysterically at the next five, etc, such is the life of a Knight Errant. Candide lived in the Best Of All Possible Worlds, and even though I haven’t seen it the mind pictures Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets.

There is a small galaxy next to the Milky Way that is called Snickers. I’ve heard that the moon named Charon was named by an astronomer who’s wife’s name was Sharon {probably apocryphal and just an urban myth}. The Milky Way was named because it supposedly looked like the milk of Hera. Sometimes I wonder what human milk tastes like. I was breast fed, but it was such a long time ago and I don’t remember it. I do remember a coworker who used a breast pump at work when her child was very young. I never saw her use it, but I remember an extension cord going from the drinking fountain into the ladies room. She had really pretty blue eyes that no one ever looked at because of her great tits. All the women in her family were really hot. When I first started using Facebook, one of her sisters was someone I sent a friend invite to early on. She replied to my e-mail, “Do I know you?” She used to be a coworker too, and I described where and when she would’ve known me. It had been a few years, but she remembered me then.

Those coworkers were probably at least partly Scandinavian. While watching the women’s curling on the Olympics, I noticed the one team looked like blond blue-eyed sisters. That’s what those coworkers look like only with bigger tits. The Ring Trilogy is an 18 hour long opera, PBS aired it on Evening at the Met over the course of three days. Ride of the Valkyries is one of the times when the fat lady sings, but it isn’t over then. While I was in college a friend had some noisy neighbors, so fairly early one Sunday we took his speakers outside and played Ride of the Valkyries quite loudly. Before noon is early to a college student.

Before noon is even earlier to me now. I’ve worked nights almost my entire adulthood. When I graduated, I had applied to be a telescope operator at some of the observatories. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t get those jobs. I found out in the Army that I don’t like mountains. They never had us run AROUND the mountain. It was always up or down.

Happy St Pat’s, I’m off to cook some cabbage.

The title is from a comic strip called Robotman. R-man is reading when Gary walks up and asks him what he’s reading, it’s a dictionary. The plots a bit thin, but he’s wondering how it will end. Gary looks at the last page and says “Zymurgy”. In another part, R-mans friends are coming to visit, and they need directions. R-man hands the phone to Mr Milde. He says, “Do you know where the Cheese King on the corner is? Uh-huh, okay, hey, we’re the third planet from the sun right?” That strip had some good moments.

A Galaxy far far away, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anticenter_shell

Wild

Lesdyksia, Bandb, and “What?!? Another Parent Teacher Conference

I’m a crossword and comics enthusiast. I like the New York Times crossword, occasionally I’ll do the USA Today puzzle. I don’t like rebus puzzles. My spelling is what usually trips me up on the more difficult puzzles. And you learn all sorts of new words that you will never use outside of a puzzle, adit, snee, epee, ewer, aglet come readily to mind. It took me awhile to figure out another common phenom of puzzles, Bandb, Randr, and Atoz. A coworker also used to be a crossword enthusiast and those three tripped him up too. We started referring to them as Aayy Ta Zz. A to Z, B and B, R and R. Lesdyksia? How else would someone spell Dyslexia? My mom has shared stories of what I was like when I first started going to school. I remember having trouble distinguishing left and right. I didn’t remember that I carried that confusion over to writing. I didn’t reverse characters like the toy store does, but I would sometimes write left to right, sometimes right to left, and for a while I really gave the teacher fits because I would start in the upper left and when I reached the right margin I would drop down a line and write the next line right to left until I reached the left margin, drop down and go left to right again. It must’ve been an efficiency thing, why waste time going back to the left margin every time? One of my favorite strips is Calvin and Hobbes. Sometimes you feel empathy with Calvin, sometimes you pity his parents. Calvin raises his hand, the teacher calls on him, next panel, Calvin says, “Shouldn’t the penalty for murder be reduced in cases of cannibalism since it’s less wasteful?” Final panel shows Calvin at home giving his mother a note from the teacher, she says, “What?!? Another parent teacher conference?”

My spellcheck has been kind of glitchy lately so I’ve taken to leaving a Yahoo window open on the taskbar. I can type something close in the search bar and it will prompt me with possible searches. It works pretty well when I don’t want to use the spellcheck. But when I click on one of those possible searches I use Open in a new tab. While writing this I looked up how to spell dyslexia. I didn’t right click it, I left clicked it and I didn’t have a draft saved from this post. I saw it start loading and I really quickly clicked save draft. I got it! I didn’t have to retype the whole thing. Such is the Life Of Wild, recklessly clicking with wild abandon. A few weeks ago one of my female coworkers was getting ready to punch out to go home. One of my duties is to lock the gates. I usually wait for people to leave before I do that. There’s always one gate open, but closing the others forces traffic to go out the one way. Without giving it any thought I asked her, “Do you prefer the front way or the back way?” She got this really strange expression on her face and said, “I beg your pardon?” I really hadn’t given my choice of words any thought, but her expression didn’t leave any doubt that we were on different channels. I said, “I’m closing the gates, which way do you go out of the parking lot?” She laughed then so no offense taken. Gee, I wonder what she was thinking? She preferred the back way πŸ˜‰ And then you really have to be careful about lesdyksia.

Hm, I did have to put the tags back in.

Wild