Tag Archives: bathroom humor

Prosthetic Bugs Were Used

Can you guess the context?

BTW, context does not refer to felonious writings.

I have been expounding my political views here lately. I could go in various directions from that starting point. I could talk about NSA spying. I could talk about the billion dollar divorce. I could talk about Dorothy Zborknak.

I will talk about those, but briefly and without insect references. The billion dollar divorce is real. Dorothy Zborknak is NOT real, but at least one news site and a bunch of facebook users don’t realize that.

http://news.yahoo.com/1-billion-divorce-why-harold-hamms-ex-wife-132728063–finance.html

The question of how much of that money was directly earned by him and how much should be considered “Marital assets”. Good question. And when you answer that you could ask how much of that was due to the labor of employees and contractors. Maybe they should get a settlement. If the wealth exists as corporate stock I don’t have a problem with a corporate founder counting his company as his asset. I think companies should invest their profits into improvements for their company. I don’t think they should spend large quantities to buy politicians. I don’t think managers should come in, gut the assets and get a golden parachute. I also believe in tariffs to protect companies that stay here. I think that applies to companies that provide our economic, political, and military defenses. Multinational corporations do not have our back. Okay, I’ll shut up about that.

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2014/nov/11/americannewscom/first-execution-under-obamacare-death-panels-pants/

Really? Do conservatives hate the “Golden Girls”? Actually I really don’t like the preponderance of satire sites. Sometimes people say really stupid things and it is difficult to tell if it’s real. In 1984 Mark Russell made a joke about urban renewal. I thought it was a joke. I thought it was an outlandish ridiculous notion. A couple of years later I found out it was real. We need Satyr sites instead of so many satire sites.

The title has absolutely nothing to do with either subject and nothing to do with politics. The “No animals were harmed in the making of this movie” policy includes bugs for some. I watched “Night of the Demons 2”, and it included that quote at the end of the credits. The movie’s best quality is that it has an abundance of attractive young people showing off their bodies.

Wild

Real or Not Real?

I’ll get to some humor in a minute, gotta rant first.

Reagan was wrong. GOVERNMENT IS NOT THE PROBLEM. Human nature is the problem. Power corrupts and guess what, people with a lot of money have a lot of power. It is a very dangerous myth that “My enemy’s enemy is my friend”. The only time that hasn’t came back to bite us in the ass is when the French helped us during the revolutionary war. If you realize those two things you avoid a lot of problems.

Unfortunately the problems are already here.

In some ways things were a lot simpler when the Soviet Union was still around. Everything was put into an us or them context without the shades of gray. Dictators were bad, but are they on our side or theirs. If they’re on our side we’ll still give them money, but we’ll try to get them to do a better job of ensuring human rights. We’ll pressure them on that. What’re they going to do with the money? Well what is the purpose of money or more generally wealth. To make life easier, more comfortable, right. Initially yes, but I doubt that a person, dictator or not, could spend vast quantities of cash to improve their living standard. Any amount above a certain level isn’t going to yield more luxury. It’s going to be spent on influence. It might be used to pay for soldiers or sycophants, but that’s really not an increase in standard of living. It could be viewed as enhancing the standard of living for those sycophants and solders. The more the money is spread out the more it benefits people generally. It doesn’t really benefit anybody if it is hoarded and not spent SOMEWHERE. Where it is spent is determined by who is spending it. Do we allow governments to tax, raise money, and spend it according to the directives of people representing us, or do we allow unelected businessmen to make those decisions? Money is power. enough of the rant.

Rant number two–
What is this shit? Sorry, number two is sometimes used as an excretory euphemism.

Reality shows–
Really? Are ANY of them real? I’ll quote Adam Savage from Mythbusters, “I reject your reality and substitute my own.” Right On Adam!

Just the Bear Facts, The guy signing in the corner KILLS me. There is adult content in this song. I find it amusing.

Wild

Que Si At The Bat

One of my favorite Britcoms is Fawlty Towers. It was made quite a while back, but it isn’t dated. It is slapstick though. And like a lot of art it provides a window to the soul. Mostly, that particular program shows how people feel some sympathy for the totally clueless. John Cleese plays Basil Fawlty. If you objectively consider how he acts and how he treats others, he is an awful person. BUT, people LIKE him. I’ve heard speculation that the reason people like him is that he has no control and simply reacts to things. The character of Cybil Fawlty is composed, reasoning, and although reacting is reacting in a more controlled way. Audiences aren’t very sympathetic to her. Andrew Sachs plays Manuel, the bellboy/waiter from Barcelona who understands very little. He is the character audiences like best. It is from a routine between him and a guest with a hearing aid that gave me the title. Kay, see what I mean.

I remember listening to a radio interview program called Fresh Air. I specifically remember the interview with Andrew Sachs. I’ve listened to interviews with John Cleese, but I can’t remember if it was that same program. I think the actors were a little surprised at the sympathy viewers had for Basil. He treats people very badly, yet is a sympathetic character. I wonder if it was that show that inspired John Cleese to do other “Obnoxious” bits like his video “How to Annoy People.”

Cleese is well known to fans of Monty Python as well. Connie Booth plays a major character in Fawlty Towers and was in a number of Monty Python bits. I didn’t realize until much later that she was married to Cleese. Carol Cleveland was in more Monty Python routines, usually in the role of the busty girl. The development of audio and visual media have allowed people to realize just how hot previous generations were. Everybody knows that their parents had sex {I guess nowadays you could be the product of in vitro fertilization}. But do you really think they ENJOYED it? And what about Grandma and Granddad, did they do it too? If you can see them at their prime it’s a little easier to imagine. Imagining it is not a real healthy activity though. If one watches shows that were made quite a while back, it’s still possible to think, WOW, they were HOT! It doesn’t bear considering how old they would be NOW. In my VHS porn collection I had one film from 1918, 2 or 3 from the 20’s, one from the 30’s. Those people are probably all dead now. And didn’t they have dentists in the 20’s? Probably the only equipment was pliers. I recall a Laurel and Hardy film that showed showgirls dancing. By today’s standards they were a little chunky. I prefer women to look like they’ve eaten after puberty. I’ve never been an admirer of the Holocaust look. The tops they were wearing were thin enough to see the dancers nips. They didn’t have the ratings board or much censorship in the early days of film. Some strange trivia is that there was a group complaining about all the swearing in silent films. They were lip readers. Lillian Gish once said that the reason so few stars made the transition from silents to talkies wasn’t because they had weird voices {a few did have weird voices}, but it was because they had to learn lines. In the silents they could go out and party all night and still make a film the next morning. It’s not so easy if you have to study.

Wild

A Rose By Any Other Name Would Be A Petite Bertha

About a year ago I wrote a post titled A Rose By Any Other Name. I had forgotten about that. This one’s different.

I have never met anyone named Bertha. Names tend to fluctuate in popularity, and some names stay relatively common. Biblical names stay popular, at least some of them. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John are all common in English speaking countries, although I don’t hear them used for Middle Easterners often. In the Army I met Justin Case, Officer Candidate James T. Kirk, and others. Since this was the Army I’m guessing Jim never made it past Captain.

That was the Army. There have been artillery guns named Bertha, Big Bertha. Maybe that’s part of why the name isn’t common. I have known a few women named Beatrice. All but one went by Bea. There was one Trixie though. I dated her Aunt, and the aunt’s name was NOT Bea. I don’t recall knowing any Gertrudes. Trudy would not be a bad name. I can picture an attractive Trudy. My mom named all of her cars Gertie. That’s not really the prettiest name, but it does have some possibilities. Dirty Gertie might be fun loving.

I am a Frank Zappa fan. Moon Unit and Dweezil would not be my first choices for kid’s names. I remember looking in music stores for Zappa stuff. They used to engrave it on these vinyl disks, or on plastic ribbons with magnetic materials. One day I noticed a placard that said “Bobby Brown.” I looked at the placard and thought, “Why would they have a whole category for one song?” I went over and started flipping through CDs. Then it hit me. THE ARTIST WAS CALLED BOBBY BROWN! That immediately made me smile. I also wondered if anyone had sent him Frank’s song titled Bobby Brown. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s-wzTRwJMg

Titles sometimes pop into my head, then I try to think of posts to go with them. Not true this time. I was going to title this one, “Inter-racial Lolita Lesbian Sex Between Midgets and Amazons.” The rest of the post would have been the same, but would have ended with me quoting my old blog from the other place. I wrote the following at 3AM 5-9-2006. ” I saw something unusual today. There were a pair of pigeons mating in the rafters. There was a small bird perched a few feet away watching them. It was clearly a different species. There it stood enjoying the view as the pigeons flapped and made noise and generally enjoyed themselves. As the pigeons reached a crescendo, the small bird flew to their nest took some nesting material and flew away. The pigeons settled down for a rest. It didn’t last long, soon they were at it again. Once again their audience showed up. The little bird watched till things reached a frenzy, then took some more nesting material. This scene repeated itself a total of four times.

I guess it shows that you should be careful who you let watch.”

I titled it, The Voyeur Bird. I suppose I could have called it Inter-species Lesbian etc.

Was That Your Bidet? No

No it was my B-day as in birthday. I’m 52 now, just like a deck of cards. Only there are a couple of jokers so it can’t be a full deck. A pinochle deck only has 48 cards. What can you expect, they named the game after some unusual watersports fetish, of course you’re not playing with a full deck. And don’t even bring up one-eyed jacks. You keep them under the table and out of sight. Discretion.

Discretion means discrete quanta. Whatever it is it comes in individual clumps not smooth continuity. Yeah, people are like that. You can always tell where one person ends and another begins. The less discrete they are the easier it is to tell.

Sort of.

Took some time off from work, so it’s been fun not plowing snow, although I do still have to do my own sidewalk and driveway. And it has definitely been cold too. My sleep is still on my work schedule, even so, I should try to get to bed earlier. This is probably my shortest post. I’m still alive and a little older.

Is that a Bigfoot doing the Hustle? {just justifying the tags, it doesn’t mean anything}

WHY, why did you do that?

Occupation? Stand up philosopher.

Ah, a bullshitter.

From Mel Brooks History of the World.

People tend to think of philosophers as esoteric eggheads with no connection to reality. Their answer would probably be that’s because reality is an illusion. Philosophy has everything to do with pretty much all of life. What you do depends on what you think. For instance, Gilligan’s Island, if you are preparing for/hoping for rescue you build signal fires. If you are resigned to being there forever you work to make life there more comfortable.

I’ve been watching Dexter in what little free time I’ve been having lately. I’m into season 7 now. Without trying to give away the storyline Dexter has been doing more explaining of why he does what he does. It reminds me of conversations I’ve had with people that just don’t seem to get my point. My point being, you can’t force people to think or feel a particular way. You can certainly try. You might succeed most of the time. Dante knew what I was getting at. He had Epicurus condemned to roasting in a bronze cauldron in Hell. Epicurus didn’t believe/realize this. Crime and punishment get tricky if you set goals that might not be achievable. If you send a criminal to a penitentiary that doesn’t mean they will be penitent. A reformatory might not reform them. The language used reflects a goal other than revenge. I don’t recall reading much about vigilantes holding vigils either. Dexter talks of his dark passenger and refers to himself as a monster. He understands other monsters. It helps him capture them. He enjoys the kill. Our justice system has kind of a split personality. We try to execute humanely. Why? What is the goal? What are we trying to achieve when we lock someone away? If the goal is the general welfare of society as a whole then it doesn’t matter what the convict thinks or feels. It matters that he/she won’t have the opportunity to hurt others. If the goal is punishment, if the goal is to make them hurt for what they did, then you cede control to them. You can’t force them to feel regret and compassion for others. You can kill them, but you can’t read their mind. You could torture them with the exact same methods they used on their victims, but their thoughts are their own. You could try brainwashing a la “A Clockwork Orange”. That worked really well didn’t it? Malcolm McDowell was certainly creepy in that movie. In real life a murderer named T-bone Taylor is serving a life sentence for killing two cops. A reporter interviewed him a few years into his sentence. He told the reporter how much he loved prison life. The reporter quoted him and there were letters to the editor about how this guy needed to be made miserable. He needed to suffer. He played the reporter for a fool and I’m sure he enjoyed those angry letters. If he causes you to want to torture him, isn’t that his sickness spreading? Cruelty and violence are contagious diseases. Is lethal injection an inoculation?

On Dexter the character Deb is thinner than what I consider to be sexy. Maria has a nice full figure. Rita struck me as being just too flaky. I did like Lila, but the English accent is a bit of a turn on for me {and I loved that line, “Pardon my tits”}. They do show a fair amount of nudity, always a plus.

One final thought on why did you do this. I wouldn’t do this.

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Real Life is so Annoying,

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. It’s been a month according to the date on my last post. I’ve posted about various things on Facebook in that time. Real life intrudes and doesn’t leave a lot of time for fooling around. Pity, I really like fooling around. Somehow or other I found this article while reading FB friends. http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-hilarious-things-i-learned-about-orgies-by-going-to-one_p2/?wa_user1=4&wa_user2=Sex&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=feature_module

Actually that is page two of the article, so what it still works. I have made it to the other place to read Furbal’s blog there.

Work is one of those annoyances I have to deal with at least until I can retire. They’ve fired several people lately. Mostly temps but a couple of career people too. That’s very unusual. I could expound on that but you might think I work in the looney bin. You wouldn’t be far off.

One of my bookmark folders is “Blog Subjects.” I need to delete subjects I’ve already wrote about, but the list keeps growing and growing.

http://www.ohgizmo.com/2009/01/12/toilet-seat-scale-tells-you-how-much-weight-is-lost-after-you-take-a-dump/

Wow, where do you go after that? Maybe Greg and Lou have an idea? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDABsomwj3c

It’s Greg’s B-day today. I’ll have to drop him a line.

Wild