Category Archives: Olden Times

Doing Laps, Vanity and The Blob

Went to the doctor yesterday. I’m still alive.

The Irish Rovers used to always end the show with one of two sayings. “May you be be half an hour in Heaven before the devil knows you’re dead.” And “May you live as long as you want to and may you want to as long as you live.”

The doctor gave me the usual talk about losing weight, but he did pick up on something without me saying it directly. He told me that my weight would significantly shorten my life. Then he said that doesn’t mean I’ll die a quick death from a heart attack. He told me that when his elderly patients say they’re ready to go he reminds them they could have debilitating incidents that don’t kill them, like strokes. If dying doesn’t scare me he will tell me about other possibilities. I have been exercising more. My A1C has been below 6 for 2 years now. I never did have to take diabetic meds. I can stop doing the test strips now though. How would the obituary read? Last words were, “I said I’m not sick!” Rather vain to think about what others might say. Could play this song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6UAYGxiRwU

She did confirm who the song was about. http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-carly-simon-youre-so-vain-about-warren-beatty-partially-20151118-story.html

There is a meme circulating on Facebook about not needing to know what others think of you. This is very true. Most people are not thinking about you very often and when they do it might not be flattering. A coworker once shared a story about a doctor he was friends with. The Dr was born in the US to Japanese parents. They spoke Japanese in the house so he was very fluent. Having went to school to be a doctor, he was quite intelligent. He decided to visit Japan. Upon his return he told my coworker that he would never go back. Despite being very fluent, he had never learned to READ Japanese. He had to ask about train schedules and routes. People would treat him like an idiot. The sign is right there, can’t you read? they would say.

Sometimes you’re better off not knowing what people think of you.

Wild

What do you lose when you stand up? Your lap.
Making laps would be sitting then.

I saw a remake of the Blob on Crackle earlier. I prefer the old version. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094761/

And I like this song, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK5jyVCdXwc

had to clear up stuff from the title.

Alas Poor Yorick, I’d rather Be A Tree

The question is not IF you will die, but what will be served at the reception. Soylent Green is not recommended.

One of my cousins died about a week ago. She was the last of her generation in that branch of my extended family. My dad’s sister had two girls and a boy. Her grandkids are in their forties. Her great grandkids are in their twenties. Some of them have young children also. The young ones I really don’t know. I can see obvious family traits so I know who they came from. They’re obviously human. I doubt there is any Denisovan in the family tree, Neanderthals I’m not so sure about. Anyway, the one that died was 69 and had one daughter. I remember when that daughter first remembered that I was a family member. Her aunt and uncle were celebrating their 25th anniversary. They were my cousins also so I attended until I had to leave for work. Later, a coworker and I were working on the exterior of the building when she went in. I said “Hi” and she ignored me. My coworker asked me if I knew her. I told him it was my cousin’s kid. She was about 20 and quite attractive. When she came out I said, “I said HI!” She turned, ready to give an earful when she suddenly realized I was a relative. “Oh, you work here?” she said. I replied, “For about the last 15 years”. She has not forgotten me since. I have been mistaken for other family members since we tend to be short round and hairy.

After I’m dead I suspect I really won’t care what happens to my earthly remains. I have no martian remains.

I did not know Yorick. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yorick

According to Ginger on Gilligan’s Island, one acting lesson is to pretend to be a tree. One can be a real tree. http://www.beatree.com/

If you don’t want to be a tree, perhaps you would like to be plastic? http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/exihibition-of-human-bodies-body-worlds-come-home-to-heidelberg

Some are less enamored of plastic. Frank Zappa wrote https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy4KU0bWrbc

Denisovans did exist. I didn’t make them up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denisovan

That last vid was just because I find it hilarious and I haven’t watched it in a while.

Wild

B.W.B. Babes Without Borders

I’m pretty much an equal opportunity ogler. There are people that are easy on the eyes in most countries. I certainly enjoy looking at them. A Miss Universe contest featuring only humans does seem a bit egocentric for the species though. It could be xenophobia I suppose. On Gilligan’s Island Gilligan managed to avoid trouble by picking Gladys. She was the only native.

There might be other natives in the universe. Would they be babes? What characteristics define a “Babe”? Well the word babe is closely related to the word baby. There is a survival benefit for babies to be cute. How many would be conceived or born if a mother’s reaction were “That ugly thing came out of me! It Hurt!!”

Babies like milk glands, mammalian ones anyway. Their fathers often like milk glands too. Sometimes politicians like milk glands. They even kiss babies sometimes. Some aren’t sure what they should kiss. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilbur_Mills Or who they should kiss https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Sanford

It should be noted that if you tell your family and security detail that you will be gone hiking, you might want to pick some other time than nude hiking week. http://www.hikingnaked.com/index.php?topic=103.0;prev_next=next

Politicians aren’t always known for good decisions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK8Iowe83-A
The blond behind Dean is pretty cute. The hearings interrupted my cartoons so yes I did watch the hearings despite being rather young. I started following politics after that. I have no idea if the blond aged well. Physical beauty is transient. Elizabeth Sladen was very pretty, but she’s been dead about 5 years so her appearance has suffered I’m sure. I’ll lose a lot of weight after I die, especially if my wife has me cremated. Celluloid lasts longer than people. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0805207/?ref_=nv_sr_1 Recycling through the carbon cycle is independent of national borders but largely limited by planetary borders unless you are considering time scales large enough to say that we are all just “Star Stuff” to quote Carl Sagan.

So what makes a babe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

and that might trigger a Christmas wish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUZqfByAOUs

I have some different ideas. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj-UqKjOwwo

Wild

NUKE ‘EM ALL!!! Just Nuke Them All.

I bought a new microwave before work today. I must say that my old one wasn’t completely dead. It was having issues though. After each use it would shut itself off. And lose it’s settings and not restart until it had cooled off. Even so, I really can’t complain about that unit. I bought it 8-8-88. I remember the date quite clearly. There were stories about how it was supposed to be a really really lucky day. It was for me. I bought a microwave, a refrigerator, my first CD player, and my first color TV that same day. I got a thank you note from the store manager. The CD player and the refrigerator are still working. The TV crapped out after 2 weeks and I had to take it back. At least I didn’t go back to living in a B&W world.

It was also the anniversary of the Chernobyl meltdown. I was in the Army back then. 3 Mile Island, Chernobyl, and Fukushima are the three nuke accidents you hear about. I’m sure there have been others. If nothing else I’m sure nuclear ships or subs have sank. There were 2 H-bombs lost in the ocean off Spain too. And then there was that Polonium 210 that ended up in that guy’s tea. That might not count as an accident though.

The number 88 is used by white supremacist groups. The eighth letter is H so 88 is supposed to indicate Heil Hitler. Leave it to them to ruin a good year. There was a rally in Georgia recently.

https://news.vice.com/article/anti-racist-protesters-outnumbered-white-supremacists-10-to-1-at-a-racist-rally-in-georgia

I don’t know about the source, but I like the headline.

Wild

Grasshopper, Do Not Be a Dragonfly

We had a fire at work yesterday.

But I don’t work at Fawlty Towers. I did have a bit of an adrenaline rush when I realized that there actually was a fire. And when that wore off I was really tired. And I still had most of my shift to get through, and the fire created more work for me. When I heard the alarm I went to check the alarm control panel. I saw that a pull station in an employee area had been pulled on the southeast part of the building. I was in the northwest part. I did a quick check of my area of the building to make sure everybody was out then I went outside and did a headcount at the NW collection point. There were three supervisors at the SE collection point. It took an unusually long time for the fire truck to arrive. We’re two blocks from the fire station. I found out later that we had had a false alarm fault in the system earlier in the day. We had fixed it, but the fire department didn’t know that it was fixed. What a time for the alarm to malfunction. No one was hurt. A bale of cardboard next to the building had caught on fire, but it was outside of the building. A coworker posted pictures on Facebook.

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Only one bale caught on fire. I ended up rearranging about 20 further away from the building. I guess I needed some practice driving the pallet movers.

People do have a habit of not thinking about what they’re doing when they get curious. That’s why I chose the title. A coworker, since retired, once told me that it was really easy to shoot dragonflies with a BB gun. The BB moves slow enough that the dragonfly sees it and goes to see what it is, but then can’t get out of the way fast enough.

And now for politics.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Licinius_Crassus

The fire departments in Rome were privately owned. If your house caught on fire Crassus would send over his fire department. They would make offers to buy before they would put the fire out. If the owner wouldn’t sell they would watch it burn.

Wild

And The High Horse Climbs the Soapbox Again.

Does equine hygiene suffer during marijuana consumption?

No

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/high%20horse

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/soapbox

Now, on to politics. I admit my liberal bias. Can we afford to pay for college for those that can handle the academics? Can we afford to pay for high school? Can we afford to pay for any school? How much school is necessary. That is the question. Post secondary school shouldn’t cost orders of magnitude more than secondary school. I completed a BA in 1984. I paid off my debt by 1990. I couldn’t do that now. I don’t have a good answer as to why it costs so much more now. Perhaps grade inflation has caused tuition inflation. I think society benefits from a well educated populace. If that takes longer now, then it should be available. Compulsory education laws have been around for a long time BECAUSE society benefits. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_education

Minimum wage laws, should there be a minimum wage and what should it be? That depends. It depends on what your goal is. It ties into a bunch of different questions. Are child labor laws bad? If you own a small business you might want you kid to help out at a young age and begin learning the family business. That is not always a bad thing. Hiring 10 year old kids to work in mines or in factory machines because they’re small is not considered a good idea by most. Ironically, the first wage laws were not minimum wages but maximum wages. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minimum_wage https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_labor_laws_in_the_United_States

A modern solution to maximum wages would be taxes. Or it would have been a solution before taxes became a dirty word. The minimum wage laws kind of went hand in hand with child labor laws and compulsory education. Workplace safety came in about that time too. Upton Sinclair wrote “The Jungle” in the hopes of promoting socialism. Instead it helped push along the creation of the FDA. With no regulations neither food nor drugs were particularly safe. http://www.gmptrainingsystems.com/files/u1/pdf/TR_and_Pure_Food.pdf

Jerome K. Jerome wrote around the turn of the century. At times he was hilarious. Other times he was dead somber, kind of depressing. Maybe I’ll be funny next time. A lot of the observations JKJ makes are not dated and fit well today too. People haven’t changed. I think James Thurber must have been influenced by him. The style is similar.

http://www.jeromekjerome.com/

Wild

Lulu’s Gone Away

Some of my coworkers retired at the end of March.

Everybody makes the workplace happy. Some when they arrive, some when they leave.

Some are real lulus. I had that song stuck in my brain too. I remember it as a cutesy “Adult” song from back in the day of euphemisms.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bang_Bang_Lulu

http://www.kristinhall.org/songbook/SeaAndPub/BangBangLulu.html

Is there a euphemistic way of referring to euphemisms?

What synonyms are there for synonym?

And what about Dennis Rader?

Sometimes my mind doesn’t simply wander, my train of thought derails and careens wildly through non sequiturs. And according to Merriam Webster I spelled that correctly, but the spellcheck running in the background didn’t like it. It’s been in the English language since the 1500s. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/non%20sequitur

Dennis Rader was the BTK killer. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_Rader

In some documentaries they talk about serial killers feeling like they have no control over their life. So they take control by killing people. BTK exemplifies this in that he stopped killing after he became a code enforcement officer. When he could be a real asshole to people and they didn’t really have any recourse, he didn’t feel the need to kill.

It makes me wonder how many “Little Hitlers” would turn into serial killers if they didn’t have their own little realm to rule over.

Then I wonder if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that they have those little realms. How many people do they make miserable through “Legitimate” outlets compared to how many people do they make miserable by being a serial killer?

On the bright side, whichever they do they don’t live forever. All reigns end sometime. Into all lives a little reign must fall.

One coworker I will miss, the other is a joy to not see any more.

Survival In The Land Of Milk And Honey

Not an ideal location for the lactose intolerant and for those highly sensitive to bee stings to find themselves in.

Do you have a job or a career? If you win the lottery you quit a job and find a career. How many people really want to vegetate in front of a TV until they die? You have to have something to do or life simply becomes waiting to die.

There are people waiting to die.

What is your purpose? Do you want to help people? Do you want to hurt the people that deserve it? Going to Heaven would be nice, but would you rather actually be a demon punishing sinners in Hell because they’re sinners? Or maybe you would just want to strut because you’re better than them and you want them to know it? Maybe just having a comfortable life with the people you’re close to would be good enough. A lot of people could be happy with that.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/bluesky/hub/ct-inc-gravity-payments-70000-minimum-wage-20151113-story.html

But everyone couldn’t be happy with that. Striving to get what they don’t have is all that will make some people happy. And some people are only happy if they are unhappy. There are a few that are only happy when they see others unhappy. That last group is the one to worry about. I suspect they are a very small percentage, but their effect is far beyond their numbers.

Back in 1988 I heard this song incessantly on the radio at work. The don’t play the radio at work anymore. I’m happy.

I had never actually seen the video until I posted this. It amuses me.

Wild

Imaginary Friends And Fantasy Lovers

Initially one might think imaginary friends are good. T.S.Eliot and R.L.Stevenson come to mind. However not all authors are immediately recognized by their initials. My favorite humorist was (or is, depending on whether you consider the subject of this sentence to be the individual, ie past tense, or if the subject is “My favorite” ergo present tense. And getting presence/presents can be tense. Just ask paranormal explorers) J.K.J.. I mean Jerome Klapka Jerome. He wrote “Three Men In A Boat.” It was hilarious, and I would never have discovered it had it not been for the arrogance of Robert Graves. I became enamored of Robert Graves after watching the Masterpiece Theatre version of I, Claudius. Then I read the book. It was even better. I became convinced that it was far better to see dramatic performances before reading the book. The book is ALWAYS better. Therefor seeing the performance after the book is a letdown. Reading the book after viewing is a wonderful expansion. I started reading whatever I could find by Robert Graves. Up until I read The Antigua Stamp. I viewed it as a battle between two evils. One was an exceptionally clever evil person, the other was an idiot. My sympathies went to the idiot. “Bless his heart, he just didn’t know any better.” Well, yes he did. He just wasn’t very good at being evil. Mr Graves mocked JKJ in that story. So I read Three Men In A Boat, to say nothing of the dog. It was written in 1889.

You might ask how that all relates to imaginary friends? A great author becomes like a friend you enjoy listening to. If they are dead that means they must be imaginary. That is, unless you are one of those paranormal explorers.

Unless you go to the Dark Side, there you might only IMAGINE that they are friends. They could be plotting your downfall. Or at least your extreme embarrassment. That could be called the “Drama Club”.

Fantasy Lovers. That is very subjective. As in, what is the subject of that sentence. Is that about people who love fantasies, or is it about people who have fantasies about lovers?

Go ahead and regale me with tales of tail.

wild