Cuddling, Every Thing’s Sweetness and Niceness, Until Someone Gets an Erection

My cousin posted that on her Facebook page. Hilarious. And like a lot of humor, being unexpected improves it.

I was reading a blog elsewhere last night, and Arch was describing his first sex teacher {or maybe his favorite sex teacher}. Anyway, he talks about attempting to conceal an erection. Are you happy to see me or do you have a zucchini in your pocket? He didn’t really say zucchini, cucumber, eggplant, nor even German Sausage. He said flashlight. In the U.K. they would refer to that as a torch. So carrying a torch for someone would be a good thing {provided they WANTED to see it.} This kind of brings up the subject of sexual comfort levels. Society has conditioned guys to be basically homophobic, with machismo to cover sexual insecurities. Guys are often afraid of having a hard on around other guys because they don’t want the other guys to suspect them of being gay. At least that’s how I interpret it. But like so many things, it’s more of a continuum. Some people are totally straight some are totally gay, and others fall somewhere in the middle. An interesting question for the homophobic male, do you like porn? Would you like porn where the guy couldn’t get it up? If not, then his erection is important to you. Lesbian sex is a common guy fantasy. Are straight women uncomfortable around lesbians? I think part of the male homophobia includes the fear that a gay guy would hit on you. Reality might be that he’s just not that into you. This one retiree used to avoid an openly gay coworker and that was one reason he would give. Uh, there’s like 30 years age difference, does being straight mean you want sex from ALL women?

Arch was attempting to conceal his erection from a female so most of that doesn’t apply. But then there is the subject of shyness. That ties in with exhibitionism and voyeurism. Like most guys I like to watch. I like to watch porn, I like to watch people in real life. I remember giving talks in a planetarium and showing people stuff through telescopes. After class I remember turning the telescope back towards the dorms. These were 8 inch Celestrons and they didn’t have an image rectifier on them. Everything is upside down and backwards. Which makes it looks really really weird to watch some people having a MFM in front of their window. That particular dorm didn’t often offer much viewing. There were two dorms called towers and in the sides facing the other tower would be voyeurs and exhibitionists. They would put on shows for each other. This was before the internet and the webcams.

Speaking of lesbian porn, the part that always turned me on most was the initial contact. Who touched first, who leaned into the first kiss, who was the first to sexually touch the other. I also like watching the moment of orgasm. I prefer watching that in real life. Porn just doesn’t seem that convincing, but kudos to Peter North for quantities, although that doesn’t fit with lesbian porn.

Wild

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10 thoughts on “Cuddling, Every Thing’s Sweetness and Niceness, Until Someone Gets an Erection

  1. Mrs Fever

    I have friends who self-identify as Lesbian. You know what they DON’T watch?

    Lesbian porn.

    And isn’t *that* interesting?

    (Not really; “lesbian” porn being so obviously targeted to heterosexual males. But I thought I should mention it anyway.)

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    1. wildoats1962 Post author

      I remember reading books on subliminal suggestions, the psychology of advertising, how to read a person like a book, body language, etc. Some of the stuff you hear sounds ridiculous, but bear in mind these studies had their origins in ad campaigns that went wrong. They would advertise a fridge and point out all the neat features that people said they wanted, but in the ad, the fridge was empty. Subliminal message, buy our fridge and you won’t be able to afford food. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that real lesbians don’t like lesbian porn. I’ve heard that gay or bi men are much more likely to buy Playgirl magazine. Some of that deals with basic traits. In general men tend to be more visually oriented than women. More men are voyeurs. Stereotypes aren’t useful when applied in a negative or absolute way, but they are useful in that they reflect somewhat common traits. In movies you see a young guy looking in windows, you do see many girls doing that in movies or real life? Straight women aren’t often into watching porn either. Being a lesbian doesn’t mean they turn into a guy psychologically.

      It’s also important to realize that people aren’t cardboard cutouts. Some women really like porn, some guys get totally turned off by it. It should be cautionary labeling people, even if they’re self labeling. I saw a political cartoon with a guy holding a gun while looking out his window, the other person in the room says, “Bubba, the president isn’t going to confiscate your gun and then force you to marry a gay illegal immigrant.” Some people appear to act like they believe that. My Great Niece had an interesting post on Facebook. It shows a teacher and he says, “I can tell you’re texting. Nobody looks down at their crotch and then smiles.” I replied, “Some people might.”

      Yes your comment had found it’s way into my spam.

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  2. vixenincognola

    MFM never really does it for me. I’m definitely a lesbian porn kind of gal. I guess I like to concentrate spreading smiles one penis at a time.

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    1. wildoats1962 Post author

      The voyeur in me likes to watch people cum, anybody actually. It seems our orgasms are as unique as a snowflake. Sometimes the best view is from the perspective of a diner of that orgasm.

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  3. Mrs Fever

    I think you should check your spam box, Wild. ‘Cuz Vixen just said “lesbian porn” and HER comment showed up, but I said it like, twice, or maybe three times. So maybe I got spammed. (Which sounds kinda kinky if you say it right.) Hmph!

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    1. wildoats1962 Post author

      Any Vikings around? {looks both way}, Spam, Spam, Spam de Spam, and now for something completely different.

      You were right. It was in my spam. I couldn’t resist a little Monty Python.

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