Deer Oh Deer

Sometimes I can be rather crass and tasteless. Sorry Charlie, they want tuna that tastes good, not tuna with good taste.

I kind of feel like Rod Serling, I should have a cigarette in hand welcoming you to the Twilight Zone, or Night Gallery, or maybe News of the Weird. First Up, Wisconsin in Nov 2006.

Please don’t blame the messenger. I did nothing to the deer.

Arkansas Aug 2006.

I have never killed a deer. I have killed pheasants, squirrels, rabbits, various fish and turtles, and chickens for food. I have killed various rodents, insects, spiders, centipedes, and assorted creepy crawlies because I didn’t like them. In all cases I did try to be quick and as painless as possible. I did hit a deer with my car once. He ramped over it and ran away. He was running fast enough that I don’t think he could have been seriously injured. Later I did contemplate what I would have done if he had went through the windshield. I would probably have died. Antlers are somewhat formidable, but the hooves can be vicious. Buckled into a seat with little room to maneuver, it would be impossible to escape. I very seriously doubt that I could kill one with my bare hands. That means it would probably kill me. But, it wouldn’t eat me, and I doubt that it would have sex with me either. After I’m dead, I kind of doubt that I’ll really care what happens to my body.


I’ll try to not be disgusting tomorrow.

4 thoughts on “Deer Oh Deer

  1. furbal1972

    I kill many a cockroach and/or fly every day. I chalk it up to “I’ve sent them on to their next (better) life”. ….. When it comes up to deer or other “higher animals” it becomes harder, but the same logic applies. (Although they do more damage to your car. lol)

    All is ‘ZEN’ with the world. 🙂

    I never felt so bad as when I shot a helpless bluebird with a pellet gun, as a teen. :(( (As if a precious life was just “target practice”.)

    All a part of the lessons we learn.


    1. wildoats1962 Post author

      I suppose I’m a bit peculiar about this. If I kill for food, and I try to do so humanely, and I actually do eat the animal in question. I don’t feel so bad about it. I’ve never liked killing. That has affected my accuracy when shooting at an animal as opposed to paper. I can feel myself jerk the trigger instead of squeeze. Fortunately, I have never shot at a person. I have had careless crazy people shoot at me though. Usually they live in a city, decide they’re going to be hunters so they go to the nearest public hunting area and blast away at anything that moves. Depending on what they’re using you can hear the bullets or slugs going through the brush. At that point I usually stand behind a tree and yell. Sometimes you see someone with only a few working brain cells. There used to be a quarry next to a public hunting area. And there was a steel shed with a big sign that said DANGER EXPLOSIVES. I have never seen a structure with more bullet scars. The steel must be thick because some of the dents were made by some big guns. It’s like a competition for Darwin Awards. Another time many years ago, I was checking out a favorite fishing spot, right next to a gravel road. I was eating a fudgesicle while standing on a rock ridge between the river and the road. Downstream I could hear someone shooting into the water, and sure enough I could hear the bullets fly over head. They didn’t sound real close though. When I first looked that way he kept shooting and as it happened I stepped on a loose rock and slipped at the same time as he fired. I was wearing a yellow shirt and when I slipped my fudgesicle fell and hit me in the chest and slid off. He stopped firing as soon as I fell. It struck me that he might have mistaken the fudgesickle smear for a bullet wound. I decided to not move and see what happened. He stopped shooting and left. I waited at least ten minutes, it was kind of tough to not move for that long, but I was real curious if he would check to see if he actually hit me. He didn’t. He got the hell out of there. That makes me real cautious when I see hunters. I’ve also seen people shoot rocks. For the most part I would call that unsportsmanlike, what did the rock do to you and are you going to eat it? On the Darwinian side bullets bounce off rocks and sometimes that bounce is right back at ya.

      I lived way out in the boonies for a year in 81 and again for a year in 84/85. When we cut down a dead tree that was about 15 to 20 feet from the back door, we found two deer slugs in it. I can see why “Doomsday Preppers” like underground bunkers.

      I did mention you in my Zymurgy post a couple of days ago.


  2. Mrs Fever

    I’m not even gonna click those links, Wild. Just… Not gonna do it.

    I have some icky spider stories. Don’t want to think about them at the moment though; time for bed. Let’s just say I envy you your spider killing abilities. I sort of go into screaming-babbling-freak-the-fuck-out mode whenever an arachnid is near. *shudder*



    1. wildoats1962 Post author

      I don’t blame you, sometimes I even gross me out. That’s tough to do I’m pretty jaded. If the creepy crawlies respect my space, I’ll respect theirs. That means they stay outside, I don’t care how cold it gets. Even then I prefer to annoy them into leaving. For mice, bats, and a few others that means mothballs. Also works for groundsquirrels. When I first moved into my present house, there were groundsquirrels living under my front porch. They seemed to be in no hurry to leave so I spread a box of mothballs under and around the front porch and under the deck by the back door. They just wouldn’t take the hint. They gathered up all the mothballs and put them in one place. Okay smartasses, I bought a couple of boxes of moth FLAKES, and spread them around. They didn’t pile them up as high but they did try to relocate and bury them. Alright, be that way. I took the flakes and balls and an old tin can. I used my camp stove to heat and melt the naphthalene and pour it around the entrances. Now you can’t move it you little pricks. They left then. I do have the heebie jeebies dealing with parasites. Leaches and ticks really gross me out. But there are several that don’t even bear thinking about, and wiki and youtube have very graphic photos,movies, descriptions. I won’t bother to link because I don’t want to look either.



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